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awesomesauce — lingering lullaby
Published: 2005-03-07 20:16:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 151; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description the stars they lie tonight
tell tales of beauty divine
hints of what once did gleam
that most glorious and wonderful shine

the story most tragic
yet contempt is found
between the gaps
of these starry eyed dreamers

the truth of the matter
being that the stars are all scattered
what now limits the universe
once was its center, its prize

in glory it was
in beauty it adourned
in seclusion it was sanctified
in a second it shattered

tinkle, tinkle. shatter, shatter
does all around great glory scatter
misconcieved as only a heart
now like the stars is torn apart

these scenes of your life are but commercials
mantaining only half their meaning
the main attraction becomes the byproduct
the story commercialised to empty silver platter

oh great lullaby
oh crying babe
teach them young
how never to wake
they should hide their faces
dry their tears
give way to nothing
that feeds from their fears

and in this night
where you sleep by this lullaby
id drown you in my tears
so you didnt have to cry yourself to sleep tonight
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awesomesauce - arm+finger - foot+toe
Comments: 5

perfectcontradiction [2005-03-08 05:41:45 +0000 UTC]

im not sure the rhyme scheme is consistent, but if you did that on purpose, it certainly captures the readers attention.

i like the twisted syntax, it reminds me of the rhymes one would find in an old story book with jaundiced pages and deep, dark, forest pictures. or something. maybe thats just me.

overall, nicely done.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

awesomesauce In reply to perfectcontradiction [2005-03-08 18:35:19 +0000 UTC]

yeah, the efffect was supposed to be that of a perverted lullaby, so its rhyme scheme was broken and studdered.

clever girl

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Srfgurl5 [2005-03-07 23:46:58 +0000 UTC]

?and in this night
where you sleep by this lullaby
id drown you in my tears
so you didnt have to cry yourself to sleep tonight" amazing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Srfgurl5 [2005-03-07 23:46:58 +0000 UTC]

"and in this night
where you sleep by this lullaby
id drown you in my tears
so you didnt have to cry yourself to sleep tonight" amazing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Srfgurl5 [2005-03-07 23:46:40 +0000 UTC]

?and in this night
where you sleep by this lullaby
id drown you in my tears
so you didnt have to cry yourself to sleep tonight" amazing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0