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i havent talked to you in a while

and vice versa

but everyday

every

single

day

i think about you

weither because i wake up

in hopes of finding something from you

or weither its because i simply care

and even though it seems like our lives are drifting us apart

and that all seems lost

atleast to me anyway...

...i hope youre doing well

no

i hope youre doing more than well

you dont deserve to be here

i hope you realise that

in my eyes, you shouldnt be here

i hate all the wishes

and all the tears

and all the "im sorry"s

that were wasted

i hate myself

for wasting you

and im sure youll forget

and ill be this great tragety

once existant

but now long gone

i hope you see why im writing this

i hope you see my pain

through the skin

through the frown i wear

and realise

that im so lost

and not that that matters

not that you should have any sympathy

and if youve made it thust far reading

i commend you

for putting up with my selfishness

but this is what is on my heart

you say youll always love me

if only as a friend

i say

it doesnt matter

i realise that i am like Pan

i live in a fictional world

and now i see that reality is so dull

so lost

so sad

its people like you that make me regret

because its people like you htat make me confused

youre real...

but you make me want to take you away

back to the dream where you came from

the marvellous sounds and sights

you make me want to find the reason for living

but it doesnt matter now

and forgive my vanity

and forgive me of my hopelessness

and ignore anything that reminds you of me

and realise this

since ive grown

up

ive only wanted one thing

to go back

because id give away all my responsibility

and all my hope and future

and become an ignorant fool

if it made me a kid again

back to neverland

back to where i had you

you see

you live in reality

and in fantasy

to me

so whomever you become

and whatever you do

for get all i said

because it was all from an ignorant, immature, irresponsible fool

and because of you

thats where i wish to be

because right now

you arent a part of my reality

and youre content with that

and despite the heartfelt hopes

and wishes

and tears you might have never had

i no longer have you

so please...

forgive me for your frustration

and your unimpressedness

with me

and thank you for not loveing me anymore

it makes me who i am today