HOME | DD

b1gfan — Up above
Published: 2010-02-27 07:45:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 2187; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 38
Redirect to original
Description Up Above


i.
Up above,
birds in the tree, in the rain,
in the night

ii.
Clouds moving
across a field
of moving clouds

iii.
Below the horizon,
the ocean moon
waves

iv.
With each gust,
the chatter of leaves:
passing time

v.
What about a cold night
makes these lines
so hard to finish?

vi.
Fitful leaves
moving
a March day

vii.
Tomcat sneaks
a glance at me –
sparrows take flight

viii.
3:00 a.m. –
my pen falls
awake

ix.
Between fence posts
the spider's web –
still

x.
Watching puddles
of sparrows bathing
in evening sun

xi.
Encouraged by rain,
          magnolia blossoms
     broken by rain

xii.
With each branch
          the sapling birch grows
     taller than me

xiii.
A glooming sky
          gathers against hills
     close as yesterday

xiv.
Patchy sky above –
          these broken lilies
     mending

xv.
White light
          in a gray sky –
     Winter sun

xvi.
At sunset –
          the jetty
     dips into the sea

xvii.
After the storm –
          fields of puddles;
     everywhere there is sun

xviii.
Cold to the touch –
          these windows
     full of sun

xix.
The clatter of hail
          leaving the sky:
     lonely

xx.
Between blades of grass,
          March storms
     gathering

xxi.
     Sunny day –
a bowl of ramen
     to cloud my glasses

xxii.
     Swirling leaves –
my eyes chase
     the running breeze

xxiii.
     Crow on the back fence
watching –
     but not me

xxiv.
     A cloudless day,
and the gnats are storming in
     a bar of sunlight

xxv.  
     Two crows crossing
miles of sky –
     together

xxvi.
     Crabgrass
among the daffodils –
     of all things...

xxvii.
     Perched on a fencepost,
a crow turns
     into the wind

xxviii.
     Stalking houseflies
as Mick Jagger sings:
     it's only rock 'n' roll

xxix.
     Conspiring among the bones
of almond trees –
     crows

xxx.
     Seething beside the road,
another devil
     in the dust

-or-

     Watching this devil seethe –
the mind swirls
     with dust

-or-

     Watching the column,
I sit – dust catching
     with the devil

xxxi.
A fifth night
away from home –
tick tock tick tock tick


x-tra.
All across the valley,
     so blue a sea –
wild lupine blooms

On the hillside
     cows make a meal of their meal,
despite the rain
Related content
Comments: 108

b1gfan In reply to ??? [2010-06-07 23:09:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for that my friend and the as well I'm all spoiled now

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

greymists [2010-05-04 07:49:47 +0000 UTC]

F to the E to the A to the TURED! [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to greymists [2010-05-04 13:54:56 +0000 UTC]

Awww thank you Kara Jean That's too too (too) sweet.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior [2010-04-04 12:26:00 +0000 UTC]

Those lupins sound like a wonderful sight.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-04-05 04:53:49 +0000 UTC]

Indeed they were - and inland ocean that seemed to stretch for miles!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-04-04 06:12:36 +0000 UTC]

amazing!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-04-04 23:04:58 +0000 UTC]

indeed you are

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

seekingmysoul In reply to b1gfan [2010-04-05 06:47:33 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

romanysoup [2010-04-03 05:20:25 +0000 UTC]

xxix!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to romanysoup [2010-04-03 05:25:58 +0000 UTC]

Thanks my friend.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-03-31 08:19:51 +0000 UTC]

wonderful!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RedDragonfly [2010-03-31 02:58:34 +0000 UTC]

Fave so far is xx.
I love the sense of the gaze sweeping up from the grass level to the sky.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to RedDragonfly [2010-03-31 06:21:39 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Candice You are a good and sweet dragonfly you are

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-03-30 18:32:40 +0000 UTC]

wonderful...brilliant imagery.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-03-31 06:20:36 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Margo. You are too sweet for words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

seekingmysoul In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-31 08:04:18 +0000 UTC]

Very welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

InklingArt [2010-03-29 16:31:42 +0000 UTC]

such beautiful imagery!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to InklingArt [2010-03-29 18:15:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you my friend

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Alannavich [2010-03-29 04:30:07 +0000 UTC]

Mmmmm, Haiku

Beautifully done! I also enjoyed learning something new in your comment! Very excited to employ it sometime in the near future...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Alannavich [2010-03-29 13:39:34 +0000 UTC]

Thank you my friend. I look forward to your use of zeugma

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

rottenpeeches [2010-03-28 17:14:55 +0000 UTC]

such pretty haiku.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to rottenpeeches [2010-03-28 22:38:45 +0000 UTC]

now that I'm home again I can finish the set

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

throughangelseyes7 [2010-03-25 03:13:49 +0000 UTC]

xiv = <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to throughangelseyes7 [2010-03-28 22:40:27 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior [2010-03-23 12:18:43 +0000 UTC]

xxi Mmmm, tasty!
xxiii It is fun to wonder what the crow is actually watching.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-28 22:42:16 +0000 UTC]

The ramen was tasty indeed! And as for the crow - I can only guess. Who really can understand the mysterious ways of crows

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior [2010-03-18 13:54:27 +0000 UTC]

xix I like the onomatopoeia and the idea that the sky can be lonely is touching.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-19 05:28:29 +0000 UTC]

I love a little poeia myself

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

somnomollior In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-19 19:54:34 +0000 UTC]

I had to look up how to spell it - a lot of vowels!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-03-17 05:42:17 +0000 UTC]

I am reading and collecting as you update, its wonderful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-03-17 23:32:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Margo

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

seekingmysoul In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-17 23:36:06 +0000 UTC]

Very welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

greymists [2010-03-17 04:08:39 +0000 UTC]

<3<3<3<3<3 the additions.

Still.

I'm being redundant, but it's true. K bye.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to greymists [2010-03-17 23:32:43 +0000 UTC]

It's o.k.; I like redundancy

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

msklystron [2010-03-16 23:23:13 +0000 UTC]

Pssst... I wouldn't have gotten the Who reference.

Such strong images and lovely wordplay. I adore Haiku, and yours is wonderful. My favourite is "Fitful leaves Moving March day."

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to msklystron [2010-03-16 23:33:32 +0000 UTC]

Hehehehe

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

msklystron In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-17 00:04:44 +0000 UTC]

I'm old enough to remember the Who albums (and singles) as they came out, but right now raindrops keep falling on my head...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior [2010-03-16 18:25:07 +0000 UTC]

I like your latest one: XVII.
The idea od all those puddles in the sunlight sounds like splashing heaven!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-16 23:34:05 +0000 UTC]

Splashy indeed - the kid inside me is ready to run through the mud!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

somnomollior In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-17 11:50:33 +0000 UTC]

O, where are the puddles of yesteryear?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-17 23:33:03 +0000 UTC]

Gone to flowers, every one

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ceruleanfirefly [2010-03-15 00:23:26 +0000 UTC]

I really enjoy reading these... They're so unlike the Haikus we are taught to write in school, which definitely pleases me....I don't even know how to describe that they're different.....Is this even a haiku? and if it is, then was what I was learning not? lol. Oh, the questions I get thinking about poems and stuffs....I think I'll write some three-lined poems.....Because I doubt they'll be a haiku persay, but heck. Three lined poem it shall be....whenever I have time that is. ><

Now that I've gone off on a strange tangent and really gotten away from the original reason for this comment, I'll say what I originally wanted to say, then be off ion my merry way.: "I love your works.... And reading these nearly every day, really makes my day!"

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Ceruleanfirefly [2010-03-15 03:29:27 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you Emily That is very sweet of you to say! I really appreciate that you take the time to read these poems and that they strike you as worthwhile. That makes me happy. Here's to your day my friend.

As for the poetic question - well, these are haiku and so too are the poems you learned to write in school - the ones with the 17 syllables. Haiku is a form but also an aesthetic intimately tied to the basic philosophies of zen. Haiku in English get a little latitude in meeting the formal restrictions because our language doesn't work exactly like Japanese does so certain things have to change to accommodate the differences in grammar and even the parts of speech.

There are quite a few aesthetic concerns to be taken into account when writing haiku - more than I could go into here without boring the poo outta you for sure - but the principle of Sabi is big, as is that of Wabi. These lead to poems that look at aspects of nature with an emphasis on the solitary, on transience, and on the beauty to be found in age or defect. There are traditionally Kigo to be put to use and sometimes a cut line is employed in the poem as a way to re-contextualize the content of what's preceded the cut in the poem...they are sometimes written in cycles...and sometimes they are linked to become another Japanese form...so, yah...like I said...too much before I bore the poo outta you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ceruleanfirefly In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-15 04:06:12 +0000 UTC]

It's not boring, just confusing at midnight. It doesn't process when I've been fighting all night, and being stressed as heck....But your comment back brightened it, even though it also confused me. lol I think I'll hold off on trying to comprehend your comment (at least the technical side of it) until tomorrow, or whenever it is next that my brain is semi intact. Pardon any spelling or grammatical errors here.....I normally spell check stuff....But i'm brain dead and kinda soul-dead (if that's really such a thing) right now.

Hopefully I'll learn some more writing techniques soon. I've been doing much less writing than before, and using other art outlets such as photography and pastels.....But I miss writing...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ceruleanfirefly In reply to Ceruleanfirefly [2010-04-01 18:18:13 +0000 UTC]

A quick question for you. I posted a "haiku" on my deviatiobns.....and I was wondering....is it a haiku? lol

And another question.....Is deviant art doing some sort of april fools thing? 'Cause I want my avatar back...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

greymists [2010-03-13 07:14:37 +0000 UTC]

Sometimes I want to favorite this again. But I can't. So I'll just let you know, the additions are always amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to greymists [2010-03-13 21:26:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Kara Jean How sweet of you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ink-In-Amber [2010-03-13 01:07:50 +0000 UTC]

Dave, I kept thinking: wow, he's outdone himself: this is going to be my favourite & then you'd move on to the next one and I'd be moved anew...a beautiful scintillating whole with such pure notes.

Bravo! and

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Ink-In-Amber [2010-03-13 05:53:04 +0000 UTC]

Heheheh - Well thank you Dawn, That's enormously kind of you to say. I am honored that you take the time to read them as they come and the is a yummy bit of icing for that most delicious cake! Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ink-In-Amber In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-16 02:51:56 +0000 UTC]

always.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


| Next =>