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b1gfan — Up above
Published: 2010-02-27 07:45:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 2187; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 38
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Description Up Above


i.
Up above,
birds in the tree, in the rain,
in the night

ii.
Clouds moving
across a field
of moving clouds

iii.
Below the horizon,
the ocean moon
waves

iv.
With each gust,
the chatter of leaves:
passing time

v.
What about a cold night
makes these lines
so hard to finish?

vi.
Fitful leaves
moving
a March day

vii.
Tomcat sneaks
a glance at me –
sparrows take flight

viii.
3:00 a.m. –
my pen falls
awake

ix.
Between fence posts
the spider's web –
still

x.
Watching puddles
of sparrows bathing
in evening sun

xi.
Encouraged by rain,
          magnolia blossoms
     broken by rain

xii.
With each branch
          the sapling birch grows
     taller than me

xiii.
A glooming sky
          gathers against hills
     close as yesterday

xiv.
Patchy sky above –
          these broken lilies
     mending

xv.
White light
          in a gray sky –
     Winter sun

xvi.
At sunset –
          the jetty
     dips into the sea

xvii.
After the storm –
          fields of puddles;
     everywhere there is sun

xviii.
Cold to the touch –
          these windows
     full of sun

xix.
The clatter of hail
          leaving the sky:
     lonely

xx.
Between blades of grass,
          March storms
     gathering

xxi.
     Sunny day –
a bowl of ramen
     to cloud my glasses

xxii.
     Swirling leaves –
my eyes chase
     the running breeze

xxiii.
     Crow on the back fence
watching –
     but not me

xxiv.
     A cloudless day,
and the gnats are storming in
     a bar of sunlight

xxv.  
     Two crows crossing
miles of sky –
     together

xxvi.
     Crabgrass
among the daffodils –
     of all things...

xxvii.
     Perched on a fencepost,
a crow turns
     into the wind

xxviii.
     Stalking houseflies
as Mick Jagger sings:
     it's only rock 'n' roll

xxix.
     Conspiring among the bones
of almond trees –
     crows

xxx.
     Seething beside the road,
another devil
     in the dust

-or-

     Watching this devil seethe –
the mind swirls
     with dust

-or-

     Watching the column,
I sit – dust catching
     with the devil

xxxi.
A fifth night
away from home –
tick tock tick tock tick


x-tra.
All across the valley,
     so blue a sea –
wild lupine blooms

On the hillside
     cows make a meal of their meal,
despite the rain
Related content
Comments: 108

Not-a-Great-Artist In reply to ??? [2010-03-10 16:27:28 +0000 UTC]

Lovely! I especially enjoyed line v. Amazing work as always.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Not-a-Great-Artist [2010-03-11 05:46:42 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Elizabeth I appreciate your taking the time to read and enjoy the haiku in this set.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Not-a-Great-Artist In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-11 15:27:29 +0000 UTC]

Of course! I always enjoy reading your poems.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-03-10 09:49:47 +0000 UTC]

wonderful you are amazing!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-03-11 05:47:59 +0000 UTC]

Heheheh Oh no - you are amazing Writers are a dime a dozen; it's readers that are truly wonderful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

seekingmysoul In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-11 07:03:14 +0000 UTC]

Readers are wonderful but, it takes a writer that conveys visuals that draw one into their minds and creates another world! lol
Very welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior In reply to ??? [2010-03-09 13:08:45 +0000 UTC]

I love the puddles of sparrows!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-10 02:49:13 +0000 UTC]

They are the very best puddles

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

greymists [2010-03-09 03:44:25 +0000 UTC]

The last one is my favorite thus far. I'm a sucker for sparrows.

<3!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to greymists [2010-03-09 05:15:06 +0000 UTC]

They are the quintessential bird Thanks for taking the time to read my friend I appreciate ya'

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

greymists In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-09 05:42:12 +0000 UTC]

Shore

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul [2010-03-07 21:23:07 +0000 UTC]

Magnificent piece, beautifully worded with so much immagery...love it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-03-08 03:51:31 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks Margo -

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

seekingmysoul In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-08 08:27:19 +0000 UTC]

Very welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Tworoads In reply to ??? [2010-03-07 20:14:40 +0000 UTC]

I really like vi. I don't know why.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Tworoads [2010-03-08 03:51:54 +0000 UTC]

No reasons are necessary It's enough that you like it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tworoads In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-08 18:10:30 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SonicShadowSilverLuv In reply to ??? [2010-03-06 18:11:09 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, i love the picture, also the story.
The story you wrote was really good.
Keep it up! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to SonicShadowSilverLuv [2010-03-06 18:45:26 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NJKay In reply to ??? [2010-03-05 07:59:28 +0000 UTC]

Haha. I love how you play with ambiguous phrases. Very good piece.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to NJKay [2010-03-06 18:45:44 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ejectionletter In reply to ??? [2010-03-04 18:42:32 +0000 UTC]

ii. ii. ii. ii. ii.
absolutely adore it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to ejectionletter [2010-03-05 06:32:57 +0000 UTC]

And I you...thanks my friend

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

suan-la-tang In reply to ??? [2010-03-04 16:00:47 +0000 UTC]

Absolutely brilliant! I dig the way you handle these words- you throw em around and at the same time you weave them together with an expert delicacy.

Fantastic!

The first and last are my favorites.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to suan-la-tang [2010-03-05 06:34:31 +0000 UTC]

That is amazingly flattering feedback Fancisco! How kind you are to me, it defies words. Many many thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

suan-la-tang In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-05 15:22:48 +0000 UTC]

I'd love to say it's kindness... but it isn't. It's just true

No prob!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Tworoads [2010-03-04 03:44:12 +0000 UTC]

Quite enjoying these, Dave.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Tworoads [2010-03-04 04:06:48 +0000 UTC]

Thanks Noah. I'm giving it my best.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tworoads In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-04 23:07:31 +0000 UTC]

And kicking ass while doing it.
[had to say it.]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to Tworoads [2010-03-05 06:11:27 +0000 UTC]

You say the nicest things

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tworoads In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-05 16:07:08 +0000 UTC]

I'm honest. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pseudometry In reply to ??? [2010-03-03 07:11:13 +0000 UTC]

Some pretty damn good lines in here. I'm especially fond of iii and iv: the pelagic moon, seemingly beneath but definitely part of the waves, and the 'chatter' of leaves is one of the best aural descriptions I've heard, of dried leaves in the wind; it evokes that sound of theirs perfectly.
Grand stuff.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to pseudometry [2010-03-04 04:29:10 +0000 UTC]

That is delightful news to get my friend, music to my ears really Thanks so much Jamie, for reading, commenting, and being ...well, you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pseudometry In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-04 04:42:19 +0000 UTC]

Ah... my pleasure, my pleasure.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KneelingGlory [2010-03-03 05:39:02 +0000 UTC]

iii. is easily my favorite. Beautifully worded! I like the close, too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to KneelingGlory [2010-03-03 05:43:14 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior In reply to ??? [2010-03-02 14:48:50 +0000 UTC]

Gotta love talking leaves!
And I like the combo of moon and waves in the previous one.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-03 05:14:07 +0000 UTC]

Thank you - those leaves seem to have had a lot to say to me recently

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

somnomollior In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-03 12:07:27 +0000 UTC]

Maybe you need therapy!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-03-04 04:12:40 +0000 UTC]

Perhaps I 'm getting it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

underworldriver In reply to ??? [2010-03-02 05:11:57 +0000 UTC]

you've done it again! great job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to underworldriver [2010-03-02 07:00:33 +0000 UTC]



I'm like Britney Spears I guess

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

underworldriver In reply to b1gfan [2010-03-02 07:04:16 +0000 UTC]

LOL, that was a bad reference.

it's okay though. love ya, Dave.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior In reply to ??? [2010-02-28 12:25:22 +0000 UTC]

ii - I like this very much. Are the other 'clouds' in the field creatures of some kind?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

somnomollior In reply to ??? [2010-02-27 15:20:41 +0000 UTC]

Birds everywhere - a lovely image (your words and the picture you chose to accompany them).
There was a lot of uplifting bird song in our garden this morning.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to somnomollior [2010-02-27 23:06:29 +0000 UTC]

There's much to be said of birds I am glad you enjoyed it my friend.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

seekingmysoul In reply to ??? [2010-02-27 10:04:23 +0000 UTC]

Good!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to seekingmysoul [2010-02-27 23:04:53 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

indiana-w In reply to ??? [2010-02-27 07:49:06 +0000 UTC]

Bring on the ku rain.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

b1gfan In reply to indiana-w [2010-02-27 07:56:28 +0000 UTC]

Heheheheh rain on me -

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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