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balancedvidiot β untitled self portrait
Published: 2005-03-22 17:52:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 2105; Favourites: 49; Downloads: 82
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Description
the assignment was to paint a self portrait, representational or otherwise. instead of painting a regular self portrait, i decided i would paint the cocept of no-self, the buddhist doctrine of no-self/no-soul, called 'anatta'. you see, in buddhism, its thought that the concept of self that we are all familar with is an illusion. the idea of you being a seperate being from the rest of existence is a fallacy, an illusion created by what are called the five aggregates. the five aggregates are the elements that construct our illusion. they are: matter, sensation, perception, mental formation, and finally conciousness. the painting itself is a representation of those five aggregates overlapping to create the concept of self.first, we have matter, symbolized by the universe, the starry mass of existence in the middle. its the physical representation of our world; particles whizzing around, making up the material world we know.
second, we have sensation, which is the large tan-ish mass of brushstrokes on the left. sensation is where we feel either negative or positive, the very beginning of the contrast that will begin to communicate our existence, (sidenote: i took the picture of my painting outside.... the shiny highlights coming off the brushstrokes aren't necessarily there in other lighting conditions). these thick brush strokes are just the beginning of our world, the most basic of our sensation of reality.
next we have perception, the large black criss-crossing lines on the top left. this is where our sense perceptions come in, we gain more knowledge about our reality. patterns start to emerge, things begin to make sense out of the mass of negative and positive in the sensation level.
after that, we have mental formation. mental formation is symbolized by the large circular holes and the oozing green... these are our thoughts, our actions, our karma-creating acts which affect our lives. from the sensations and perception of the previous levels we begin to get a clearer picture of reality. things become more complex (the shapes become three dimentional and more interesting). our existence take a fairly clear shape.
finally, we have conciousness, our awareness of self, the culmination of all aggregates before it. i'm aware of the concept of myself, but i'm also aware of the concept of not actually existence. however, saying that you don't exist and truely realizing it are two different things. i can say it all i want, but until i fully become aware of myself as a non-entity, i cannot become enlightened, i cannot break the cycle of samsara (the endless pattern of death and rebirth that we constantly repeat because of our attachments, particularly our attachments to the concept of being alive and a person). so there i am, sitting at the edge of the universe, marveling at the infinite grandure of the universe and creation. i'm not quite to that door yet, not quite ready to make that step and release myself back to the fold of everything. at least, not quite yet.
this work is important for me... its the biggest painting i've done so far (32 x 24), and i really feel it brings my game to a new level, in terms of creativity and technique. so, i'm quite proud of it. i'm interested in feedback concerning the concept behind the painting and its symbolic execution, as well as just the pure asthetics (color, composition, ect) of the painting. or any feedback really. ... much thanks to anybody who cares to leave a comment.
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Comments: 28
I have actually done a study on anatta because i thought that i might need that knowledge someday, but i must say this is a whole new veiw i have on it! I love the concepts and i also love how you put it in order! (if that makes any sence) i mean it wasnt just splashed on there, it seems to be very well thought out and planned, which is a good thing! I also enjoy the medium you used, but thats just a bit bias because i love paintings a lot!
and for matter to be symbolized by the universe, i think is great, because in fourth grade they told me that the universe is made of matter. And the criss crosses used to symbolise perspective is a great idea, in my opinion because it reminds me of a snipers scope, and that is how they see( if you don't get what i was saying just forget it im stupid with explaining this stuff anyway)
Now the area where the pink and tanish blend could have been a little bit better, but who am i to say that i couldn't have done better!
so overall i just love it! I love the concept, the way you put your concept together, and i just love the result of all of that! So great work and keep it up! The world needs great thinkers like you!!!
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I will not use many words, because words can't catch the essence of art. This is pure and exceptional work. Great!
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oh i surely care to leave you a comment. just to tell u your work is exquisite, it is so beautiful for me, it tell so much. i almost had the same thoughts looking at it like u wrote. we are allready parts of the univers and the space is part of us. much love and magic on your diamond path!
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Dear Max
Before I respond to your query I feel obliged first to make a couple of points. I apologize in advance if it gets lengthy.
The first point I'm sure you already know, but I may as well advance my own position. Upon reading the last paragraph and your request for feedback I am immediately reminded of The Fountianhead by Ayn Rand. When (Sculptor) Stephen Mallory asks (Architect and Protagonist) Howard Roark what he thought of his art Roark responded snappily "I think you have no right to ask what other people think of your art". Of course, I realize that we do not live in Randland (a world in which the primary three virtues from which all else is derived are Selfishness, Rationality, and Production. Fun.) and even in the novel Roark goes on to reassure Mallory that his art is, indeed good. The point I am trying to make is that I always feel somewhat sheepish when someone asks what I think of their art. The first thing that always comes to my mind is "Well, do you like it?" However, although I am no artist I am a musician of sorts and understand how feedback can be helpful. Thus the response.
The second point reminds me of a different novel entirely, Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. The quiet, small town of "Midland City" decides to become cultured and buys, with taxpayer money, a several dozen thousand dollar painting by a modern painter. The problem, from the eyes of the townspeople at least, is that the painting is nothing but a gigantic canvas painted a yellowish color with one large, green, vertical stripe painting the entire height of the painting, slightly off center. It was titled "The Final Temptation of Saint Anthony" Of course the honest, hardworking people of midland city weren't about to have some snobby artist come in and scam them out of good money for a piece of aesthetic crap. Upon being confronted by the the citizens the Painter gave an apology "I guarantee you I painted everything that needed to be painted and nothing that didn't..." He goes on the explain that when you strip away everything that isn't important, social expectations, superficial appearances, unnecessary details, there was only one thing left to paint: the bright light that was the consciousness of man. (the artist noted that had there been two people, then there would have been two lines, but, alas, there was only one person to be painted). Afterwards the local yokel were so astonished by his explanation they made a complete 180, and decided that his piece was a masterwork. On townswoman said "Art would be so much better if the artists just explained it".
There was nothing wrong with the explanation that artist gave, in fact I found it very sensible, but Vonnegut was making a tongue and cheek point that Art can't, and shouldn't, always depend on the explanation of of the artist. I guess that was a very roundabout way of explaining that I didn't read your concept behind the art. I intend to. Later. I may post more afterwards. However I am mainly interested in the impact and utility it has to me regardless of what the original purpose is.
I like it. The first thing that hit me when I saw the picture, before even analyzing any of the individual percepts, was a feeling of loneliness. But not in a bas way. In the same sense of the word as the one I always get when listening to The Moon and Antarctica by Modest Mouse (for some reason) Or the works of Minimalist composer Teryr Riley which, coincidentally, I am listening to right now (and was when first viewing the picture). Perhaps "Alone-liness" would better describe the feeling. I feel introspective, and meditative. The flavor that hits me when I see the picture is that this picture isn't about other people: it is about me. Me and my mind and the universe. If it is about other people, or nature, or god, it only seems to be about them in terms of me, and my view of the universe. I would say this is somewhat remarkable for a self portrait.
Also let me say that the overall aesthetic value is beautiful. Not in they same was a a beautiful summer day, or a garden in full bloom. But more in the way of the lights of Denver at night, the of a mountain valley from a mountain peak - a sort of broad, breathtaking beauty based on awe more than on golden ratios or the beauty of life.
Of course I also find the overall color use very pleasing. The colors allure me, beckon me to examine closer. Nothing "jumps out" nothing assaults.
I wonder what causes that pocket of red. There is some reason that red is there, but It appears to be being covered by the melting grey. Only a little is left, apparently still sanguinely being red. I like the red.
The grey defies despcrition for me. If I met it in real life, I don't think I would like it.
The purple defies description for me as well, at the beginning. But something strikes me as footprintlike about them. I don't think they are footprints. But they seem left there, by something going up and to the right and into the page. I see it as leading me in that direction. I should like to follow.
The gold with white highlights seems amiable to me. I would like to spend a summer afternoon there. Except for those damn crosses. They are imposing. The remind me of crucifixes. They remind me of infrastructure. They seem man made. I wish they would get out of my mind.
And then, of course, there is the actual head, which currently seems to be vacated by the homunculus you usually resides there. I think he took a break to enjoy the view. I think life behind that door is probably both more boring and more stressful than this one. I don't want to open it. Neither does the Homunculus. His platform looks cold. It looks like its made out of ice. I sort of wish he had a chair. But I think he is enjoying dangling his legs of the side of the universe. I know I would. The Homunculus himself is the same color as the ice. But he appears to be made out of light, and not ice. I bet he doesn't talk much.
I bet he likes good music.
Overall I think it is a stunningly good piece of art. It is beautiful and though provoking. I would love to see it in person.
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well, where to begin.
first of thanks for taking the time to type out such a lengthy and thoughtful response to my work. this is by far the longest comment i've ever recieved.
i am indeed familiar with 'breakfast of champions' and i remember that part well -though when i read it, i probably did not grasp the satire at the time. you have to understand the context in which this painting came about... you see, i painted this almost three years ago, during a time where I was attempting to get back into art after a long hiatus. i enrolled in a painting class at the community college to jump-start my creative juices. i moved from my main medium of drawing to a new medium of oil painting... this was my second painting i completed in the class and i was really proud of it. at the time, i also was prone to creating conceptually complex paintings that had tons of symbology, but was not remotely understandable without explaination. i used to give these long-winded speeches about my paintings during critique sessions in painting class, much to the chagrin of some students...however, i could get away with it because i was good, the teacher ate that shit up and i knew it (which sounds awful in retrospect... sometimes i can get a wee bit egotistical about my work, even though in reality, i know i am no jedi yet - in a manner of speaking). the important thing to take is that this painting was important to my development and my comments then do not necessarily reflect my comments now. from this period of my painting, i learned that symbology must be able to stand on its own, without a caption to save it conceptually. basically, if you want to know what is going on here, read up on the concept of no self on wikipedia or something, i'm sure they explain it better than i did here.
as for your asthetic comments, thank you again. the color came together well, but that was more accidental than pre-meditiated. this was painted in layers, and the first layer was actually half blue (where you now see stars) and half red (the tiny bit of remaining uncovered red).... most of the red was painted over, but i left the red there to highlight the greenish goo, as they are complimentary colors.
moreover, i appreciate you typing out a gut response, particularly to various aspects of the work. this is a hard emotion to convey, much less type out and post on the internet.
so there you go...this painting is not currently in my possesion, i actually need to go pick it up from the person who has it.... when i get it back, i'll let you know and you'll come see it, along with the rest of the art at my house, most of which isn't posted on deviantart.
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i don't know you, but i like you. this is a truly exquisite piece of art...an enthralling piece of mind.
lovely and poignant self-portraiture...
i love the cosmic weight of it all, the balance and the colors.
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This is fantastic, I love all the symbolism and how it all melds together. I've only just begun to study Buddhism myself, so I understand the basic concept of this - the door is there, but I'm not quite ready to go through because knowing the truth and fully realising it are two different things. I love that part, at the bottom of the painting.. the stars are beautiful and the figure is charming, and that path looks as though it's made of ice. Beautiful conceptual work, very well done. =]
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I see the four elements very clearly in this painting....to me it is not a representation of the no-self but of the process of deconstructing the self in order to gain access the no-self. Very beautiful painting
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Phenominal! I love the pink circles at the top. This is very surreal, good job!
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incredible piece! wow. really nicely thought up & done!
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It's been a while since I've picked up a camera and done some real hard work. For some reason, when I looked at this painting it inspired me. I immediately thought of two series I want to complete. I didn't want to read your description of the painting because I wanted it to be personal to me too. That's what art is, so good job on being an inspiration.
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wow, my art is inspiring?! awesome. i can appreciate not wanting to hear the explination, to each their own.... we all take certain pieces of art and relate it strongly to personal references, not at all what the artist originally intended (especially musically speaking). well, thanks very much, i hope we see some cool shit out of you soon.
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umm oops. two comments, and now three, is a little unnecessary, but uh... yeah. sorry.
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It's been a while since I've picked up a camera and done some real hard work. For some reason, when I looked at this painting it inspired me. I immediately though of two series I want to complete. I didn't want to read your description of the painting because I wanted it to be personal to me too. That's what is, so good job on being an inspiration.
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I liked the work a lot upon first glance.
And then after reading the thought that went into it, I liked it even more.
I love that you put that much thought into the composition and variety of items in the painting. I think to some extent art should be conceptual, and I really apprecaite that you took the work that far. You pulled it off very sucessfully, in my opinion.
Visually, I was not completely satisfied with the figure at the bottom extending from the door on the flat line. However, after reading about its purpose and meaning, I can understand its being there and I like it a lot better.
I am assuming that the figure is part of the element of consiousness. If you were to explore this idea further in other work, it might be interesting to see if you can depict consiousness more abstractly as well, without the use of family symbols like a door or person.
However, I really like the way you put these together regardless. Its sooo visually intriguing.
As far as other nit picky critique, I feel like compositionally it is a bit heavy on the left, which may be fixed by sliding the door/ head sillouette to the left.
however, this is nit picky and does not diminish the quality of the peice.
I wish I could see it in person, the brush strokes and everything, for even in photo it looks awesome. I love the way each aggregate is depicted in a seperate way, yet they are painted together extremly well. I particularily love the contrast of the circular matrix with the crosses. It get transfixed in the composition at the top, it is soo appealing.
Thanks for posting it. Happiness.
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as always, i am most appreciative of your efforts. thanks so much for leaving such a thorough comment, it's so rare on deviant art these days. you're criticisms are vaild... it is a bit heavy on the left... i wish i would have though of painting the head off center sooner...that would have been a cool effect.... still, it has a sort of solidness to it, being symetrical and such. i don't think i have the heart to mess with it anymore, at least not right now.... i have other paintings to fry!
thats one critique of deviantart, i really wish there was a way for us to get a more complete view of works... its limiting working with one crappy digicamera shot.
much thanks for your comments! i'll be sure to post a few more paintings soon.... i look forward to seeing more of your work, hopefully you'll post some soon!
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wow. im glad you commented on my painting because if you hadnt, i might not have ever found this painting. seeing this has made me think i should put a lot more thought into my work. definatley the best thing ive seen on this site so far.
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thanks dude. i really like your gallery, you've got style. i would love to see a little more meaning and though thrown in there, it makes interesting paintings even moreso. anyway, i look forward to seeing what else you got up that sleeve. ... +watch
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this is the best thing i have seen you do and one of the best ive seen on da ever.
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this is the most kind comment i could have possibly received. i am totally honored and humbled. i honestly was hoping you might take notice at this one and commment... your opinion is just so valued and apreciated.. it abosolutly made my day. thank you a thosand times.
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Well, I can't honestly say that I understood everything that you said, or how the painting represents what, but I can honestly say that it is a beautiful beautiful piece of art. The little figure sitting at the edge of the ice thing is absoulutely magical.
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I think that using outer space to represent our world wasnβt the best of choices. Our βworldβ in my opinion, would be Earth, and more specifically, where you live. I suppose space is technically our world, but when I think of world, I think more so of Earth, as Iβve never been to space. I still think it conveys the ideal you were expressing, but I think it could have been expressed better or clearer for others if you used something aside from space.
With the tan/brown paint, I donβt see how that represents sensation. I like how it drips into the space, and I see how that connects the two, but tan alone as a color representing sensation doesnβt make sense. Donβt get me wrong, I like the color, but again, I would have used a more visually stimulating color, possibly a red, or something brighter, sharper to represent sensation stimulation. However, I understand the simplicity of it, and how it represents early human development. That aside, I like the color and I think it makes the painting look good.
I have to say, I LOVE the crisscrosses representing perception. You said, βThings begin to make sense out of the mass of negative and positive in the sensation level.β I think crosses are an excellent representation of positive and negative perceptions, in that, religion can bring meaning, cause, and contentment in peoples lives, while in others, it can become the source of much frustration, pain, depression, and resentment. Excellent choice here and I like how they blend with each other too.
The fade to pinkish/purplish works nice, but it probably could have blended better. Still looks good though. I like the use of circles. In math, circles are easy shapes to draw, but they can be a bitch to understand, much like life. Getting by each day may seem easy, but it sure as hell isnβt, and this is a great way of saying that. The dripping green makes me think of peoples ties to the earth, and how they can be there, but theyβre also not permanent, as there are other things in our lives to worry about.
The very last part, of you sitting on the edge, in the universe, all I can say for that is, it is the most brilliant representation of that, and I can relate to that single part soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. The way you put it, is excellent, and this is my favorite part.
Overall, this is now my new favorite thing youβve ever done. You should be extreamly proud of this, because it is hands down, fuckin awesome man. A favorite now and forever.
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whoa dude, thanks so much for your comment. i really appreciate your critique as well... its too bad you aren't in my painting class, you would be a real asset to have around on critique days. so, first let me respond to a few criticisms
first, the tan brushtroke stuff... well, you can't see it very well, but there are other hues in there as well, like reds, browns, ect. one thing i neglected to mention about the sensation symbolism is that the brushstrokes are making like a visual pun... they have texture and feeling to them.... in other words, sensation... the paint itself has sensation to it, instead of just being smooth and soft. i don't know how i came to the color choice of tan... or really many of the color choices i made in this painting. but i think i'm contetnt with most of them.
the crisscrossing i think is a little mis-interprested. it has nothing to do with religion (another girl in my class mentioned this association too) ... its not criss crossing crucifixes, but crossing lines, a pattern, a beginning of shape. it represents our world beginning to make sense with the data coming for our sensory input.
the purple blend is a new technique to me called glazing, where thin layers of paint, thinned with a medium are painted over and give a weird luminous effect. i od'nt have it down to a science yet, but i think it worked well enough here. the effect is a layered combination of all the aggregate... none of them are perfect, but they don't have to be.
the little character came out suprisingly well... i freehanded that shit at like 3 in the morning the night before it was due... i like how he's semi transparent, but i wish he was just a little bit more faded and translucent.
anwyay...thanks so much for the critque. i'll keep them in mind when i'm working on this next painting. i appreciate your honesty, and your compliments as well. and thanks for the fav as well. i hope my next few paintings will be of this calibur as well. the trick is keeping up this level of quality... it took alot of creative energy, an energy i hope i can keep consistent.
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