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Description
Bless Us and Splash Us! My wife Precious would've killed me if I lost it again! Good thing my neighbor Sauron lent me his Garrett metal detector--found it in five minutes. Before that I'd paid big coin (even though my residuals are slow coming in) for a Baggins Brand Detector with all the bells and whistles. It turns out I learned after three hours of searching the same spot that it can't find a quarter under an inch of gravel, and crumpled like damp paper mâché when a dozen drops of my sweat landed on it! WE HATES THE BAGGINS!!! WE HATES IT FOREVER!!!

Description
Bless Us and Splash Us! My wife Precious would've killed me if I lost it again! Good thing my neighbor Sauron lent me his Garrett metal detector--found it in five minutes. Before that I'd paid big coin (even though my residuals are slow coming in) for a Baggins Brand Detector with all the bells and whistles. It turns out I learned after three hours of searching the same spot that it can't find a quarter under an inch of gravel, and crumpled like damp paper mâché when a dozen drops of my sweat landed on it! WE HATES THE BAGGINS!!! WE HATES IT FOREVER!!!