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bite06me — Passion
Published: 2004-03-20 23:27:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 103; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 27
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Description
Yeah, okaywrote this one a while ago, found it in my notepads.
LEts see...
I think it was the first attempt to write an idea from a basis of part of a movie my friend is writing. It's gonan be a damn good movie. BUt this poem does no justice, this one sucks, so i put it up here to try and change it up a bit.
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Comments: 11
Well you can think what you want but I liked it
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Suck? oh please! I really felt this one, it hits close to home...
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sucks? nah, none of your stuff sucks silly 
I liked the repeatition in the last stanza.
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i dont know if thiis is about you but im so glad you for a passion. dont let anyone take it away.
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This would make one ace film.
Just have a little tweak with the structure of the lines, with the syllabic content to make it that little bit better.
But nice message to the poem anyway
Good job, keep on fiddling with it!
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the eyes are are wonderful and it doesn't suck...just need to work it over a bit....
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It doesnt flow that much. Keep workin on it tho.
yes, eyes are sexy
-tif
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I would despise my parents if they ever did this to me :steamingmad:
I think the lines that really touched me were
I love this,
A passion, for once.
Notice the fire in my eyes
It's burning with love-
I have a thing for eyes, kinda weird but
Great work sweetie
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ooh i love eyes as well
i have a huge thing for eyes...
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Eyes are like the most mystical and beautiful parts of a woman. My eyes are weird. They're like a green/grey colour and they're the only thing that I don't mind about myself. I would love to see how beautiful your eyes really are
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