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Description
Purple Rain

By Denoyelle

Hauk watched her hug Simle with a big relief. Semema had changed her mind before he had got the chance to drive just a few blocks away from their home. She had started to cry, and told him with shaking voice that she had her school there, her friends, Simle and Veps. And Abyss. Poor Semema was so found of the hybrid, she didn’t wanted to leave him, though her father seemed to flee fast away.
She didn’t wanted to leave it all, but she didn’t wanted Hauk to travel alone either. Finally she had broken up and told him. Hauk couldn’t argue with her. He didn’t wanted to see her cry, and he was to tired emotionally to try to change her mind. He had just wrapped her to his chest and said it was okay. He could take care of himself better when he would knew she was happy and safe where she was.  And that she could take care of Abyss.

Either way, it was the best, did he find out, when they waved goodbye and he drove off again. Simle had tears in her eyes, even Veps, but he didn’t linger any more. He couldn’t stay there any more. He hated good byes. He hated tears. They couldn’t stop him any more. No one could.

From that time, Hauk disappeared into a zombie like state. He just drove for hours and hours. Stopped to get gas to the car, and then drive again. It was the same ritual, until he realised it was getting dark, and that he was miles from home now. Then he had to stop.
He found a road that leaded a bit away from the highway. It leaded to a small beach that was empty and silent. The ocean blinked quiet in the moonshine far away in front of him. The car stopped, and he sat there for several minutes with out a word. He though of Mochna. He couldn’t go back. It seemed like a good idea in the beginning, but after hours on the road alone, did he remembered those who lived there too. He couldn’t go back...

His father had always hard to try to see that he would be something good enough in his eyes, it was not enough that he was one of the Orlon warriors, the ones that protected the whole village from dangerous humans. No, he had to be more... Hauks sister, Sara, was 3 years older than him, and she had found herself a husband now, and she owned her own dragon, had four nights when she was on the local pubs and made shows. She could sing like an elf. And she had it all. And what did he had?

He haven’t been there to watch Semema be born. He didn’t even remembered her mother, the girl he got pregnant and then left. He didn’t remember her name.
He wasn’t there when Sem took her first step. Neither did he knew what her first word was. Did Semema used to paint her letters to friends with little hearts in the corner? Did she stood up and fight back if someone was bad with her at school? Did she wanted a piercing or tattoo and would steal money for it?  He didn’t knew nothing about his own child, he didn’t even know that he had one for years before she suddenly had found him herself! And now he had driven away from her. Again... All those thoughts, was so hard to handle that he wished so bad to cry, but it was all still inside of him. He could not even be someone’s father.

Hauk still remembered the hard gaze from Sara and their father when he had left them. Every one had decided to not feel pity for him when he ran away. ‘Coward...’did they say. It was true. Hauk had been given too much responsibility as one of the Orlons. He got scared to death, and ran away. It was what he always had done. Run away from things he didn’t feel he could control or handle. He couldn’t go back. Not alone. Not like a wreck. Like a dog who come home with his tail between his legs. It was too much for his already disturbed ego to handle. He would put the whole Orlon into shame. He couldn’t go back.

Now he didn’t have anything left...
Now he really was all alone.

And the though made him freeze completely.

The night dragged on. It was already over midnight, and he was still in the car by the beach. He had not spoken for hours, and his mind was just chaos. He couldn’t think straight. He needed to get together again. Had to do something...
After a while, he started the car again, and drove back to the highway and moved on. He stopped when he came to a gas station, and got out of the car. It was cold outside. The light from the store inside made his eye hurt and the smells from the fast foods turned out to make him feel sick. He haven’t been eaten nothing the whole day, but wasn’t hungry at all. He bought just some cigarettes and went out again. The few people who was in there scared him. He wanted back to the darkness inside the car. To crawl inside the shell again and don’t come out anymore.

He didn’t drive away from there, though. He was tired and to see the people outside, made him feel a little bit better. As long as they didn’t come too close. He just felt a bit more safe under the lights and with others near by. He lightened a cigarette and took a deep inhale of the smoke. And kept it. It was nearly a year since he had quitted the smoking, but he didn’t care anymore. He needed it. When he blew the grey smoke out again, it was like his nerves streamed out with the smoke. Gods, how he had missed it... gods how stupid he was now. He looked at a girl and a boy who got in a red car, they turned up the bass so the whole air around them pumped with the music, before they drove away. It smelled like gas, smoke and something else in the air...
He looked down, and took a inhale again. He didn’t knew what to do now. Neither did he had so much money that he could stay on the road forever. He had enough for a week though, maybe more. But it was not a safety though.

Hauk started to think back. Even though, it seemed like a good lie then, when he had promised to come back, did he never knew that it could be so true. He just couldn’t. Not now, if it was so. Everything was too rushed up right now that he didn’t think of return to them. When he though of Abyss, did he feel angst  inside his chest, confusion, shame... and sadness. No one had never come this close to him before. Not even Simle. It made him scared and he saw his own hand shaked when he looked at it and the smoke. Why was he so scared? What was he really scared of? The big trust that he could feel the hybrid had in him, the deep gaze he got every time they was more then just a few inches away from each other? The body contact? He trusted him, yes. But it was the rest of him that made him scared. That he was bi. All his life, Hauk had been raised to dislike bisexuals and gay people. He had been given it so early, that just a hug from a male friend, was a though that made him shiver. Nearly because it was related to pain. His father used to punish him brutally every time he had done a joke on someone or something else bad when he was a kid. A slap over the face was normal if he lied or cursed. It was in his family a honour to have control over every situation, even in love. Hauk had never felt love, not yet. Since his mother died, every thing had changed. Falkefot, his and Saras father, had turned to be more suspicious above others, more aggressive, more into have control. Hauk chewed his thumb and gazed far into the air while the cigarette made a low glowing light over his face in the car. Those times he had turned to the humour. To joke and laugh and make fun of himself or others, was the only relief he had got from all the tense in his life, it was his way to take back the childhood he didn’t wanted to loose. In the end, it had followed him ever since. But nothing could make this hour better now. Not even a silly joke. Hauk smoked up the cigarette and got writ of  it out the window and started the engine. He was so tired that he had begun to get a headache. He needed to sleep. With out a word, did he drive away from the station and on the road again to find a motel.

After a hour he found a motel by the road. It was little, old and didn’t seemed to be of good quality. But he didn’t complain. He just needed a room for his own and a bed. He parked the car and got out and locked it. Rare enough, did he notice a note hanging on the wall, where it was written in big words that every room had a own pay – mechanic by the door. Put some coins in, and get the key to the door. He huffed over the lazy ness over some people and they way to drive a shop, walked to find a room who wasn’t in use. There was a corridor  with rooms on every side. Just one was in use, and all in all, there was twenty of them. He chose room number 7, and paid to get in. Why he chose the number seven didn’t he knew. Maybe because it would be some luck to find in it...?

The room was little, and only had a tiny bathroom with no shower. The walls was painted in a sick green colour, and there was just a small window right under a simple bed. It smelled weird in there. Sterile, and at the same time dirty. Hauk didn’t say nothing, but sat down in the bed after locking the door with big secure. He was so tired. Most of all inside. Nothing mattered no more. The bed was hard to sit on, and would be even worse to sleep in, the air smelled awful and he felt awful too. He wanted to cry, but nothing happened. It was hard and dark and empty inside him. So empty that he though he was about to die, and lied down on the bed with all his clothes. He placed the cigarettes and the key to the door and the car by the little nightstand and the lamp that was the only light in the room. The stomach felted painful and hollow, but he just saw it as a sign that he didn’t have been eaten the whole day.

He covered his body with he blanked, and wrapped his arms around himself and gazed out over the floor and the wall. Started to study the dark brown floor deeply, saw a spider crawl over it to the door. He wanted to sleep, to get away from it all, but it was so hard. He didn’t know what he wanted no more. Everything was hopeless, no where to go, no one to talk to, no one at all... he hated the room already, but didn’t knew how long he was gonna stay there. The necklace from Abyss had he forgotten for long ago, hidden inside his pocket on the jacket. He had forgotten everything, and remembered pieces he didn’t wanted to know. He was in total chaos, and even forgot time.

Hauk stayed there for one and a half week.

Lysander watched the picture of Abyss and Hauk side by side in the living room, on the wall. He smiled.
“Sure pity I didn’t got to know him... he looks funny.”
“You know, he had many funny jokes and way too many rare acts. The neighbours used to yell at us because Hauk laughed so much and so loud all the time. Night or day.” Abyss chuckled a bit and continued: “You know, one day, Hauk got so damn irritated on the poodle who live just near by, it always used to chase his car and jump on him and stuff like that, that  he found a bucket of red paint and painted it all over his leg and started to make a hell like nothing else so let every one believe that the poor dog had bitten him!” Abyss laughed. “He screamed like a mad man and got the poor old lady who owned to poodle, to nearly die of heart attack! Then he suddenly started to laugh instead of scream, and laughed so that he cried. Haha, the lady though he was going crazy with rabies or something! Hauk couldn’t hold the act no more and had to calm down the poor woman and every one else around the neighbourhood so it wouldn’t turn out nasty for the dog. Heh, but after that, the old lady sure kept her dog away from him!”
Lysander chuckled and looked at him. Abyss blushed and could feel his heart swell with joy when he started to think of the dragonelf. Lysander saw it and grinned.
“You really liked him, didn’t you?”
“More than anything...” Abyss’ smile disappeared and he got sad. “He made my life so fun and much more easy to handle. Hauk always smiled. But in the end, it only got more and more hard for him to live with me... I loved him, Lysander. He didn’t....”
Lysander looked serious at his father, and said low: “I understand, dad. You always try your best... but you don’t always know when to hold it back or push some more...”

Abyss looked at his son, and frowned. It was so unreal. He couldn’t help that his eyes got blank when he spoke to him.
“Lysander... I am so sorry for everything... I want you to know that... Please don’t be mad at me anymore... I cant take it. With out you, am  I all alone...”
“Stop it, dad...” Lysander come closer. “You was never alone. I just needed my space.... my time. I had my own things to do and handle. I am a big boy now. Not a baby.” He tried to smile to him. Abyss got relieved and open his arms to hug him, tightly but careful so his wounds not should hurt so bad. Lysander hugged him gently back.
“I am here now, dad. Lets make it a chance...”
“Yes, please... Its so good to have you back...!” Abyss gazed down from the picture on the wall, to the table right under it, where they used to have all kind of things on it like: keys, letters, magazines, medicine.... it was then the hybrids body froze. He looked at a little bottle with tablets inside. He recognized it right away. The gastric ulcer medicine Hauk needed.
“Oh no...!” he moaned scared, and got Lysander to let go of him.
“Whats wrong?” He looked at his dad who picked up the medicine with shaky paws.
“Its Hauks medicine. He got so tense and stressed so often that he got gastric ulcer of it all! And now he have left from the medicine, he needs it! How often do I have to remind him of it?! And now he has left! Lysander, he has to get this! He needs it, he will get sick if he don’t take this!” Lysander watched his father get more and more nervous.
“Maybe he gets sick on the road and crashes! Its so typical him! He doesn’t take it serious until he spits blood, and then its too late! He have to get this back!”
“Dad, calm down, please! Until you get sick too! Please...!” Lysander laid his paws on his fathers shoulders and got eye – contact.
“Dont you think Hauk has more brain than that? Dont you think he has medicine with him now, don’t you?”
“This is the only one he has....” Abyss answered with tears in his eyes and trembled. “He only get one of these every month, this was suppose to go for this month. He doesn’t have another.”
“Oh...” Lysander watched his father with a worried frown. “Is it that serious...?”
“He can die if he don’t eat and not take this....! There is no hospital other then here in town! The next one is 17 miles away!”

The hours went painfully by. It had started to rain again outside, and the sounds of  the dripping rain was all he heard. He had woken up after a bad dream and felt he needed water. Drowsy and weak did he get on his hooves and to the little bathroom to drink. Hauk didn’t think of nothing when he watched the water stream down the sink for a long time. He felt his stomach triple again. Like it had done the past few days now. He had been trying to eat, but the trip to the gas station where they had food was in the end too much to bare for him. To see people and then leave. Be alone for days and then meet people again, just for a few minutes and then back again. It was torture. And it was torture to be alone. Hauk hated it, but was so scared of see someone in the eyes that he found it better to stay away from everyone. It was becomed a disease, a sick force inside his head. He didn’t understand people no more. Everything was like a dream. He saw them all like in a fog. And inside he just felt like a explosion of energy that screamed and fought all the time. It was chaos in him all the time. When he slept, when he was awake. But on the outside, he was quiet as a ghost.

Suddenly the pain inside his stomach hit him like a knife, and he groaned and collapsed in front of the sink with one hand holding on it to find support. It hurt so bad...! The mix of hunger and stress and pain made it almost unbearable to breathe. He was stressed, but didn’t know why. He didn’t know anything no more. Hauk didn’t know where to begin, what to do, nothing. The little room had becomed a secret place where no one would find him, no one could hurt him. Only himself.
Tears ran down his eyes, but not of sorrow. He moaned and hooked together on the floor and wrapped his arms around the stomach. He coughed and had to spit. It filled his mouth like he was gonna throw up. He spitted again. He was bleeding. The pale bathroom floor got spots of blood in front of him. Hauk gasped for air and swallow hard, but only got more ill of it. Sweat ran down his face and the body. He hadn’t showered for weeks and felt awful, and the whole body shaked and froze in the cold  air as he got wet of sweat. The pain wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t it stop?!
Hauk coughed and felt his own breathe shiver. The sight was getting unclear and the bloodspots on the floor got mixed with the white floor. He didn’t think of death until he saw the floor rush towards him and hit him. Cold and wet, until it all got dark.

To be continued....

Description
Purple Rain

By Denoyelle

Hauk watched her hug Simle with a big relief. Semema had changed her mind before he had got the chance to drive just a few blocks away from their home. She had started to cry, and told him with shaking voice that she had her school there, her friends, Simle and Veps. And Abyss. Poor Semema was so found of the hybrid, she didn’t wanted to leave him, though her father seemed to flee fast away.
She didn’t wanted to leave it all, but she didn’t wanted Hauk to travel alone either. Finally she had broken up and told him. Hauk couldn’t argue with her. He didn’t wanted to see her cry, and he was to tired emotionally to try to change her mind. He had just wrapped her to his chest and said it was okay. He could take care of himself better when he would knew she was happy and safe where she was.  And that she could take care of Abyss.

Either way, it was the best, did he find out, when they waved goodbye and he drove off again. Simle had tears in her eyes, even Veps, but he didn’t linger any more. He couldn’t stay there any more. He hated good byes. He hated tears. They couldn’t stop him any more. No one could.

From that time, Hauk disappeared into a zombie like state. He just drove for hours and hours. Stopped to get gas to the car, and then drive again. It was the same ritual, until he realised it was getting dark, and that he was miles from home now. Then he had to stop.
He found a road that leaded a bit away from the highway. It leaded to a small beach that was empty and silent. The ocean blinked quiet in the moonshine far away in front of him. The car stopped, and he sat there for several minutes with out a word. He though of Mochna. He couldn’t go back. It seemed like a good idea in the beginning, but after hours on the road alone, did he remembered those who lived there too. He couldn’t go back...

His father had always hard to try to see that he would be something good enough in his eyes, it was not enough that he was one of the Orlon warriors, the ones that protected the whole village from dangerous humans. No, he had to be more... Hauks sister, Sara, was 3 years older than him, and she had found herself a husband now, and she owned her own dragon, had four nights when she was on the local pubs and made shows. She could sing like an elf. And she had it all. And what did he had?

He haven’t been there to watch Semema be born. He didn’t even remembered her mother, the girl he got pregnant and then left. He didn’t remember her name.
He wasn’t there when Sem took her first step. Neither did he knew what her first word was. Did Semema used to paint her letters to friends with little hearts in the corner? Did she stood up and fight back if someone was bad with her at school? Did she wanted a piercing or tattoo and would steal money for it?  He didn’t knew nothing about his own child, he didn’t even know that he had one for years before she suddenly had found him herself! And now he had driven away from her. Again... All those thoughts, was so hard to handle that he wished so bad to cry, but it was all still inside of him. He could not even be someone’s father.

Hauk still remembered the hard gaze from Sara and their father when he had left them. Every one had decided to not feel pity for him when he ran away. ‘Coward...’did they say. It was true. Hauk had been given too much responsibility as one of the Orlons. He got scared to death, and ran away. It was what he always had done. Run away from things he didn’t feel he could control or handle. He couldn’t go back. Not alone. Not like a wreck. Like a dog who come home with his tail between his legs. It was too much for his already disturbed ego to handle. He would put the whole Orlon into shame. He couldn’t go back.

Now he didn’t have anything left...
Now he really was all alone.

And the though made him freeze completely.

The night dragged on. It was already over midnight, and he was still in the car by the beach. He had not spoken for hours, and his mind was just chaos. He couldn’t think straight. He needed to get together again. Had to do something...
After a while, he started the car again, and drove back to the highway and moved on. He stopped when he came to a gas station, and got out of the car. It was cold outside. The light from the store inside made his eye hurt and the smells from the fast foods turned out to make him feel sick. He haven’t been eaten nothing the whole day, but wasn’t hungry at all. He bought just some cigarettes and went out again. The few people who was in there scared him. He wanted back to the darkness inside the car. To crawl inside the shell again and don’t come out anymore.

He didn’t drive away from there, though. He was tired and to see the people outside, made him feel a little bit better. As long as they didn’t come too close. He just felt a bit more safe under the lights and with others near by. He lightened a cigarette and took a deep inhale of the smoke. And kept it. It was nearly a year since he had quitted the smoking, but he didn’t care anymore. He needed it. When he blew the grey smoke out again, it was like his nerves streamed out with the smoke. Gods, how he had missed it... gods how stupid he was now. He looked at a girl and a boy who got in a red car, they turned up the bass so the whole air around them pumped with the music, before they drove away. It smelled like gas, smoke and something else in the air...
He looked down, and took a inhale again. He didn’t knew what to do now. Neither did he had so much money that he could stay on the road forever. He had enough for a week though, maybe more. But it was not a safety though.

Hauk started to think back. Even though, it seemed like a good lie then, when he had promised to come back, did he never knew that it could be so true. He just couldn’t. Not now, if it was so. Everything was too rushed up right now that he didn’t think of return to them. When he though of Abyss, did he feel angst  inside his chest, confusion, shame... and sadness. No one had never come this close to him before. Not even Simle. It made him scared and he saw his own hand shaked when he looked at it and the smoke. Why was he so scared? What was he really scared of? The big trust that he could feel the hybrid had in him, the deep gaze he got every time they was more then just a few inches away from each other? The body contact? He trusted him, yes. But it was the rest of him that made him scared. That he was bi. All his life, Hauk had been raised to dislike bisexuals and gay people. He had been given it so early, that just a hug from a male friend, was a though that made him shiver. Nearly because it was related to pain. His father used to punish him brutally every time he had done a joke on someone or something else bad when he was a kid. A slap over the face was normal if he lied or cursed. It was in his family a honour to have control over every situation, even in love. Hauk had never felt love, not yet. Since his mother died, every thing had changed. Falkefot, his and Saras father, had turned to be more suspicious above others, more aggressive, more into have control. Hauk chewed his thumb and gazed far into the air while the cigarette made a low glowing light over his face in the car. Those times he had turned to the humour. To joke and laugh and make fun of himself or others, was the only relief he had got from all the tense in his life, it was his way to take back the childhood he didn’t wanted to loose. In the end, it had followed him ever since. But nothing could make this hour better now. Not even a silly joke. Hauk smoked up the cigarette and got writ of  it out the window and started the engine. He was so tired that he had begun to get a headache. He needed to sleep. With out a word, did he drive away from the station and on the road again to find a motel.

After a hour he found a motel by the road. It was little, old and didn’t seemed to be of good quality. But he didn’t complain. He just needed a room for his own and a bed. He parked the car and got out and locked it. Rare enough, did he notice a note hanging on the wall, where it was written in big words that every room had a own pay – mechanic by the door. Put some coins in, and get the key to the door. He huffed over the lazy ness over some people and they way to drive a shop, walked to find a room who wasn’t in use. There was a corridor  with rooms on every side. Just one was in use, and all in all, there was twenty of them. He chose room number 7, and paid to get in. Why he chose the number seven didn’t he knew. Maybe because it would be some luck to find in it...?

The room was little, and only had a tiny bathroom with no shower. The walls was painted in a sick green colour, and there was just a small window right under a simple bed. It smelled weird in there. Sterile, and at the same time dirty. Hauk didn’t say nothing, but sat down in the bed after locking the door with big secure. He was so tired. Most of all inside. Nothing mattered no more. The bed was hard to sit on, and would be even worse to sleep in, the air smelled awful and he felt awful too. He wanted to cry, but nothing happened. It was hard and dark and empty inside him. So empty that he though he was about to die, and lied down on the bed with all his clothes. He placed the cigarettes and the key to the door and the car by the little nightstand and the lamp that was the only light in the room. The stomach felted painful and hollow, but he just saw it as a sign that he didn’t have been eaten the whole day.

He covered his body with he blanked, and wrapped his arms around himself and gazed out over the floor and the wall. Started to study the dark brown floor deeply, saw a spider crawl over it to the door. He wanted to sleep, to get away from it all, but it was so hard. He didn’t know what he wanted no more. Everything was hopeless, no where to go, no one to talk to, no one at all... he hated the room already, but didn’t knew how long he was gonna stay there. The necklace from Abyss had he forgotten for long ago, hidden inside his pocket on the jacket. He had forgotten everything, and remembered pieces he didn’t wanted to know. He was in total chaos, and even forgot time.

Hauk stayed there for one and a half week.

Lysander watched the picture of Abyss and Hauk side by side in the living room, on the wall. He smiled.
“Sure pity I didn’t got to know him... he looks funny.”
“You know, he had many funny jokes and way too many rare acts. The neighbours used to yell at us because Hauk laughed so much and so loud all the time. Night or day.” Abyss chuckled a bit and continued: “You know, one day, Hauk got so damn irritated on the poodle who live just near by, it always used to chase his car and jump on him and stuff like that, that  he found a bucket of red paint and painted it all over his leg and started to make a hell like nothing else so let every one believe that the poor dog had bitten him!” Abyss laughed. “He screamed like a mad man and got the poor old lady who owned to poodle, to nearly die of heart attack! Then he suddenly started to laugh instead of scream, and laughed so that he cried. Haha, the lady though he was going crazy with rabies or something! Hauk couldn’t hold the act no more and had to calm down the poor woman and every one else around the neighbourhood so it wouldn’t turn out nasty for the dog. Heh, but after that, the old lady sure kept her dog away from him!”
Lysander chuckled and looked at him. Abyss blushed and could feel his heart swell with joy when he started to think of the dragonelf. Lysander saw it and grinned.
“You really liked him, didn’t you?”
“More than anything...” Abyss’ smile disappeared and he got sad. “He made my life so fun and much more easy to handle. Hauk always smiled. But in the end, it only got more and more hard for him to live with me... I loved him, Lysander. He didn’t....”
Lysander looked serious at his father, and said low: “I understand, dad. You always try your best... but you don’t always know when to hold it back or push some more...”

Abyss looked at his son, and frowned. It was so unreal. He couldn’t help that his eyes got blank when he spoke to him.
“Lysander... I am so sorry for everything... I want you to know that... Please don’t be mad at me anymore... I cant take it. With out you, am  I all alone...”
“Stop it, dad...” Lysander come closer. “You was never alone. I just needed my space.... my time. I had my own things to do and handle. I am a big boy now. Not a baby.” He tried to smile to him. Abyss got relieved and open his arms to hug him, tightly but careful so his wounds not should hurt so bad. Lysander hugged him gently back.
“I am here now, dad. Lets make it a chance...”
“Yes, please... Its so good to have you back...!” Abyss gazed down from the picture on the wall, to the table right under it, where they used to have all kind of things on it like: keys, letters, magazines, medicine.... it was then the hybrids body froze. He looked at a little bottle with tablets inside. He recognized it right away. The gastric ulcer medicine Hauk needed.
“Oh no...!” he moaned scared, and got Lysander to let go of him.
“Whats wrong?” He looked at his dad who picked up the medicine with shaky paws.
“Its Hauks medicine. He got so tense and stressed so often that he got gastric ulcer of it all! And now he have left from the medicine, he needs it! How often do I have to remind him of it?! And now he has left! Lysander, he has to get this! He needs it, he will get sick if he don’t take this!” Lysander watched his father get more and more nervous.
“Maybe he gets sick on the road and crashes! Its so typical him! He doesn’t take it serious until he spits blood, and then its too late! He have to get this back!”
“Dad, calm down, please! Until you get sick too! Please...!” Lysander laid his paws on his fathers shoulders and got eye – contact.
“Dont you think Hauk has more brain than that? Dont you think he has medicine with him now, don’t you?”
“This is the only one he has....” Abyss answered with tears in his eyes and trembled. “He only get one of these every month, this was suppose to go for this month. He doesn’t have another.”
“Oh...” Lysander watched his father with a worried frown. “Is it that serious...?”
“He can die if he don’t eat and not take this....! There is no hospital other then here in town! The next one is 17 miles away!”

The hours went painfully by. It had started to rain again outside, and the sounds of  the dripping rain was all he heard. He had woken up after a bad dream and felt he needed water. Drowsy and weak did he get on his hooves and to the little bathroom to drink. Hauk didn’t think of nothing when he watched the water stream down the sink for a long time. He felt his stomach triple again. Like it had done the past few days now. He had been trying to eat, but the trip to the gas station where they had food was in the end too much to bare for him. To see people and then leave. Be alone for days and then meet people again, just for a few minutes and then back again. It was torture. And it was torture to be alone. Hauk hated it, but was so scared of see someone in the eyes that he found it better to stay away from everyone. It was becomed a disease, a sick force inside his head. He didn’t understand people no more. Everything was like a dream. He saw them all like in a fog. And inside he just felt like a explosion of energy that screamed and fought all the time. It was chaos in him all the time. When he slept, when he was awake. But on the outside, he was quiet as a ghost.

Suddenly the pain inside his stomach hit him like a knife, and he groaned and collapsed in front of the sink with one hand holding on it to find support. It hurt so bad...! The mix of hunger and stress and pain made it almost unbearable to breathe. He was stressed, but didn’t know why. He didn’t know anything no more. Hauk didn’t know where to begin, what to do, nothing. The little room had becomed a secret place where no one would find him, no one could hurt him. Only himself.
Tears ran down his eyes, but not of sorrow. He moaned and hooked together on the floor and wrapped his arms around the stomach. He coughed and had to spit. It filled his mouth like he was gonna throw up. He spitted again. He was bleeding. The pale bathroom floor got spots of blood in front of him. Hauk gasped for air and swallow hard, but only got more ill of it. Sweat ran down his face and the body. He hadn’t showered for weeks and felt awful, and the whole body shaked and froze in the cold  air as he got wet of sweat. The pain wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t it stop?!
Hauk coughed and felt his own breathe shiver. The sight was getting unclear and the bloodspots on the floor got mixed with the white floor. He didn’t think of death until he saw the floor rush towards him and hit him. Cold and wet, until it all got dark.

To be continued....