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Published: 2010-07-27 13:05:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 4877; Favourites: 102; Downloads: 5
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Description
There ain't no real men anymore. I remember when men looked like men. They had the hair on their chest and they weren't afraid of it. These days men wax like pansies and all the girlies go chasing after the hairless fairies. Ha! My girl, she likes me the way I am, she likes the way I never use any of that sissy deodorant and come home smelling manly.***
I think Dwight might be leaving me for a man. He keeps going off on these rants about real men, and I've caught him looking at my vintage Playgirls a few times. And he keeps mentioning this bodybuilder guy Barry, who apparently is the epitome of a "real man." I don't think I'm masculine enough. I think I read somewhere that scrawny men like Dwane like masculine women.
***
I kept thinking this old geezer was gonna make a pass at me, the way he was staring. Then he tells me his wife started lifting weights. But chicks ain't supposed to do that! And then she stopped shaving her legs. I tell ya, the days of real women are long gone. Now they go off thinking they can do whatever they want. Babes looking swole, you imagine that?Β Β
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Comments: 52
BlueLionEyes [2014-10-31 22:01:53 +0000 UTC]
This is fantastic! Great job X3 Congrats on the well-deserved DD!
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TokoWH [2014-10-31 21:49:20 +0000 UTC]
'I kept thinking this old geezer was gonna make a pass at me,'
I laughed so hard at that it was crazy.
Congrats on the DD.
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Dillemmenade [2014-10-31 19:32:59 +0000 UTC]
not my wife, she's a real woman, always has been, takes care of the kids, cooks, cleans and is very modest herself and modest with how she dresses when around our kids and out in public. Nice job though
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MetalFeline In reply to Dillemmenade [2014-11-03 00:09:54 +0000 UTC]
You're completely missing the point... Whatever...
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DragonyDoodles In reply to Dillemmenade [2014-11-02 23:10:24 +0000 UTC]
that's uh.... You might want to re-read that
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Monecranestpourri In reply to Dillemmenade [2014-10-31 21:52:36 +0000 UTC]
Thaaaat's not really... huh nevermind
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Oye22 In reply to Dillemmenade [2014-10-31 20:32:57 +0000 UTC]
I think you're missing the message.
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TheGalleryOfEve [2014-10-31 19:16:30 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!!
Iβm very happy for you!!!
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KimikotheLexicon [2014-10-31 18:33:08 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the DD!
In my opinion, I blame media for how gender is changing.
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Oye22 In reply to KimikotheLexicon [2014-10-31 20:33:18 +0000 UTC]
I blame people for being open-minded
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CrisisHalfPrincess [2014-10-31 18:17:30 +0000 UTC]
First I thought you to be sexist, until I got that you try to be the opposite
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AyeAye12 [2014-10-31 17:42:53 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the DD
Great and political, terse and acidly satirical. Nice to come across this piece again :3
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ShadowedAcolyte In reply to AyeAye12 [2014-10-31 22:31:48 +0000 UTC]
"Nice to come across this piece again"
I know, right?
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AyeAye12 In reply to ShadowedAcolyte [2014-10-31 23:37:22 +0000 UTC]
It's always nice when you see great pieces you almost forgot about become DDs, haha Β
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Esocia [2014-10-31 14:11:53 +0000 UTC]
Well, it's kinda true. To me the only reason we have gender anyway is so we are able to reproduce.
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xxpalmness In reply to Esocia [2014-10-31 19:41:48 +0000 UTC]
Don't confuse sex (based on sex organs one is born with) with gender (based on stereotypes associated with certain sex organs).
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Esocia In reply to xxpalmness [2014-11-01 01:21:05 +0000 UTC]
Oh. I thought they were the same...my bad
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xxpalmness In reply to Esocia [2014-11-02 21:31:06 +0000 UTC]
No worries! It's an easy mistake to make. c;
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Monecranestpourri In reply to Esocia [2014-10-31 17:15:13 +0000 UTC]
That's a shitty existence then.
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DoMiNouS-Qi [2014-10-31 12:16:56 +0000 UTC]
Then let us destroy it, not reform it(!), together.  We must dismantle and obliterate gender, along with class, race, money (although money 'can' be reformed, but only drastically: youtu.be/EEZkQv25uEs And really, only a directly planned economy in combination with a full resistance with all out attacks on infrastructure [deepgreenresistance.org/en/dee⦠] can save as many species and biomes as possible in our very short time-fame to act: truth-out.org/news/item/21060-⦠, truth-out.org/opinion/item/198⦠) and authority (youtu.be/tzfG1ezW6wU )! All vile, fraudulent geno-eco-suicidal systems of controlling, devisive deceit. ... Before it's too late.  deepgreenresistance.org/en/
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JoeF2011 [2014-10-31 12:14:17 +0000 UTC]
men's of today are like pussies, I haven't washed my body for at least 10-15 years, maybe more ...
all women fall at my feet when they are close to me ...
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GrinReaperX In reply to Monecranestpourri [2014-10-31 18:53:59 +0000 UTC]
you are my new favorite person
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Tales-of-Tao [2014-04-10 02:33:24 +0000 UTC]
While I don't really agree with your views on gender (I consider it a vital point of self-identity, but I'm also not here to debate), I must say, this was played out wonderfully. Congrats on a well-earned DLD.
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DailyLitDeviations [2014-04-10 01:26:41 +0000 UTC]
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here . Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support byΒ ing the News Article.
Keep writing and keep creating.
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AsterHyakinthou [2013-04-10 00:44:29 +0000 UTC]
I just wish we were all both genders. Then there wouldn't be such a disparity of life experience to convince one sex that the other sex is taking issue with things that aren't a problem (for the former). The status is not quo!
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ShadowedAcolyte [2010-09-28 19:33:12 +0000 UTC]
This is a pretty awesome 3x69, of a strange type of relationship triangle that goes decidedly beyond cliche character archetypes.
And makes a subtle point through the confusion of the various characters, what they're saying and what they're not saying.
Gender's not the problem, intolerance about gender stereotypes is the problem. But yeah, it's really annoying.
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joe-wright [2010-07-30 17:48:48 +0000 UTC]
I'm late to the party but that was fan-fucking-tastic, you really skewered that piece, bravo.
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ru-kitsuneJ [2010-07-28 23:30:45 +0000 UTC]
Absolutely brilliant, and you're right. I hate gender too.
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cherrichan13 [2010-07-28 19:29:54 +0000 UTC]
The name changed in the middle, there.
This reminds me of one of Kelly's country bumpkin songs. But waaaaaaaaay better.
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bleusman In reply to cherrichan13 [2010-07-30 23:17:06 +0000 UTC]
Wild guess: "I'm Still A Guy?"
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cherrichan13 In reply to bleusman [2010-07-31 02:53:26 +0000 UTC]
I have no freaking idea. I'll ask her.
Oh, you're right. How did you know that.
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bleusman In reply to cherrichan13 [2010-07-31 03:41:06 +0000 UTC]
The universe drives me to be correct.
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cherrichan13 In reply to bleusman [2010-08-03 04:01:06 +0000 UTC]
:grump: You little sneak. That is NOT how you knew. Sneaksneaksneak.
I also think Kelly needs to be more amused by these great little coincidences.
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bleusman In reply to cherrichan13 [2010-08-03 04:19:18 +0000 UTC]
No, the drive of the universe put that magazine in my hands so I would know. It works in mysterious ways, dontcha know. Except if everything was working perfectly, Kelly would be fascinated.
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cherrichan13 In reply to bleusman [2010-08-03 16:31:41 +0000 UTC]
Oh, of course it is. The universe obviously just wants you to know everything, and the only reason you didn't know everything before was because you didn't have that magazine.
And that, sadly, is true.
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Masqued-Mistress [2010-07-28 04:36:41 +0000 UTC]
I like this.
Yes, gender does suck. D:
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Grachiaire [2010-07-28 00:26:39 +0000 UTC]
Really, I love it. Otherwise I'd never get to talk with girls, one of the most interesting things in the world to me.
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erick99JV In reply to Grachiaire [2014-10-31 18:24:43 +0000 UTC]
Things? Girls are things? You would still be able to talk to those "things" even if you couldn't call them "girls". Would they be less interesting if they didn't resemble "girls"?
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rodtheworm In reply to erick99JV [2014-10-31 22:44:01 +0000 UTC]
"Talking with girls" may have been the interesting thing referred to. Or possibly not, but I always like to assume the best of someone until shown otherwise.
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Grachiaire In reply to rodtheworm [2014-11-12 00:58:15 +0000 UTC]
Yes, this is what I meant. Thank you.
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simeberg [2010-07-27 23:55:30 +0000 UTC]
It told me to add a comment, so I will.
I think this is excellent. I don't know if the three pieces would really work as 'stories' on their own, but as a whole it is a bloody marvellous piece.
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