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Description
www.deviantart.com/blok--head/…

Similar to my previous take on "The Polka Dot Man", and with it receiving some positive feedback, figured I'd take a crack at some other infamous "Goofy" villains from the DC universe, and attempting to make them into more intimidating characters.

Today's special, yes pun intended, is the one and only 'The Condiment King'. (Originally from Batman the Animated Series)

Instead of a scrawny dork dressed in blue pajamas, while failing miserably at being a villain in general, here we have a more... twisted take as it were. As you can see, he's gained a few pounds, but don't let that fool you. He's more malicious than he appears.

(((Wall of Text Incoming.)))
--------

Buddy Standler was one of the top fry-cooks at the local family restaurant, 'Joe's burgers', a small run-of-the-mill fast food joint just outside of Gotham City.

You see, Buddy loved his job, and got along great with the original owner, who both worked there for over 27 years straight, until his boss sadly passed away due to a stroke, leaving Buddy as the last original employee.

Because of new management, he never saw eye to eye with how they decided to run the place. Tearing down some of the original structures for re-modeling. It got so bad, Buddy even began arguing with the boss, which eventually caused a public freak out during one of their busy days, many looking onward at the large man shouting and damn near threatening the owner with violence.

When security brought him out back, they not only fired him on the spot, but out right banned him from even stepping foot on the property ever again. This was the last straw that broke him. As he returned to his rundown apartment, he stares at the old memorabilia, having nostalgic flashbacks of the good ol' days.

*The Barbeque of 93*
"Served 3 whole full families of 12s to 15s... never even broke a sweat.."

*Grand Re-Opening 2002*
"Boss said I filled' up the whole house, never saw anything like it in years he said. Probably the proudest moments of my life...I made those people happy"

**among others...**

Buddy felt he let the original owner down, seeing their new ways of business as an insult to his legacy, and now with his recent departure, he slowly started to lose his sanity. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw nothing but a complete failure...
Sinking himself further into depression, this eventually had the land-lord concerned, as Buddy's rent was well overdue. However once the land-lord opened his door, he was utterly confused by what exactly he was looking at...

Buddy was standing there dressed from head to toe, in what appeared to be a blue jumpsuit, which barley even fit, exposing his out of shape stomach.

He also appears to have some kind of gadget wrapped around his body, built from his own little box of miscellaneous scraps, mostly out of the random junk he finds from his way home from the daily grind. The colored buttons on his chest aren't just for decoration either, as they act as an operator to his weapons of destruction.

What weapons you might ask? I mean its just ketchup and mustard inside those tanks, right? WRONG.

Inside are dangerous chemicals, sealed tight inside the metal containers on his back.

Red = Molten Plasma (Melted from the vast amounts of scrap metal, completely liquidated)
Yellow = Mustard Gas
Green = Hydrofluoric Acid
White = White Liquified Napalm-Sticky Putty

as you can clearly see, he intends to do some serious damage. And his first victim unfortunately, being the land-lord.

Without warning, he sprayed him in the face with the searing hot-plasma, straight down his throat killing him as he choked on the burning metals. As he struggled on the floor in agony, Buddy just stared at him and smiled with a wicked grin. He was going to get even with his old boss...

----
We later see the new owner, awakening in confusion as he's tied up to a wooden chair inside some dark basement, there he could hear muffled screams, as Buddy enters the room.
----

Larry: Who the hell are you, what's going on! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!

C.K.: Scream all you want Larry, nobody's gonna hear it... well, maybe except them.

**He pulls a lever turning on the lights, revealing that they were in fact inside the Meat Grinder room. On the conveyor belt, was the owner's family, tied to chairs and gagged. His wife and son were both terrified of the situation.**

C.K.: You took my livelihood, now I'm going to return the favor!

Larry: Just leave my family alone, you sick, twisted freak!! You better not lay a hand on them, or I swear to Go-..

C.K.: And you'll do what exactly? Need I remind you that I'm calling the shots here, bucko!! You see, I want you to feel the same kind of loss I felt.... You firing me from my life's passion, was like taking my own child away, then shoving it's lifeless husk back in my face, while still acting like nothings changed. Well, I think it would only be appropriate if I did the same to you, but in a literal sense.

Larry: You better not mean...

C.K.: OH BUT I AM LARRY!!, I'm going to grind your family to a bloody pulp, then I'll feed you their roasted carcasses on a warm, sesame seed bun until you puke!! Then when you're done sulking, I'll just let you sit there for a while, until I'm ready to finish the job....
---

Immediately out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something appear on the security cameras. A caped cloak, swiping across camera to camera. He knew exactly who it was...

C.K.: Well well, looks like someone tattle-tailed, no matter.

He tied Larry's mouth again so he couldn't make a sound, then proceeded to activate his "helpers" That being mechanical robots built from left-over parts of the original facility. He also attached various metal blades to their bodies to deal with pests like intruders or the law.

As the giant machine begins to power on, the grinder can be heard shredding loudly as the family begins to struggle in fear, trying their best to let out just the faintest scream, but to no avail. Larry tries to break free as well, but that son of a bitch tied his hands up pretty good, there was no way of freeing himself as he watched helpless to his family's demise.

With the grindhouse drones let loose inside the building, and in a race against the clock to save the owners family, Batman has little time to waste.

But after defeating each of the machines, he eventually found his way into the basement, there he saw the family being held. Right before he could even save them, he dodged out of the way from a blast of acid. The shot landed right behind him, and began burning through the drywall.

C.K.: Not so fast Batman, I'll be damned if I let you spoil my fun!

Batman: What you're doing is inhumane Standler, you need to be stopped. You need help.

C.K: Help? Where was 'help' when this bastard took everything from me?! This establishment, this legacy was almost mine and rightfully so!! Joe trusted me more then anyone, yet somehow this spiteful WORM seeped his way, and somehow got to take over instead of me?! He destroyed this restaurant's history for profit!! Where was "help" then, huh?! Its called an eye for an eye, Batman. You of all vigilantes should know about that!

Batman: So that gives you an excuse? Look at them, look at what you're doing to them. This isnt you, you're better then this Standler! Please, you gotta listen to reason.... you're going to far!

C.K.: Perhaps... or better yet!!

He began firing the plasma frantically, anticipating to burn the caped crusader to death, but he only managed to burn holes into his cape. With one swift strike, he socked him right in his jaw with a clean uppercut, sending Condiment King back into the desk, but knocking himself onto the controls, accelerating the conveyor belt's speed. Batman had no time to spare, he dashed for the family, and just barely missing, he pushed them off the machine.

With Larry's family saved, the Condiment King isn't finished just yet.

C.K.: "Fine, if that's how you wanna play! You can all choke on this!!

He untightened the yellow tank, and threw it inside the closed room before locking the doors and escaping. Batman had only a few minutes to free them before the gas poison's engulfed the entire building from the inside.

Fortunately, Condiment King underestimated Batman's tools, with explosive putty from his utility belt, he managed to blow open an escape path near the hallways, making it to safety just as the police finally arrived at the location, attempting to quarantine the place for the time being. That acid spit from earlier only made it easier for them to escape.

With the family of 3 now left unharmed, they may have won the battle, but Condiment King is still out there, and with the restaurant left in shambles, it'll probably take months before its back to their regular schedules. Whereever he strikes next, Batman will be there, and a one way ticket to Arkham Asylum awaits him in due time.

***But until then tune in again, Same Bat Time...., Same Bat... Villain, ah, fuck-it IDK.***
---------------------------------
Well that's really about it, granted I'm sure many will prefer the classic version, and I actually do like the original Condiment King in general, of him being an intentional joke rather then something like say, Kite Man. But I just wanted to do this for fun. And if you can think of any other bizarre or silly characters, I may consider it for the next batch.

One final note, another factor that inspired this version was from the song "Death to Dickie Duncan" by GWAR, as I feel it matches the unsettling tone I was going for regarding his personality. And with the themes of a disturbing fast food restaurant, I think it fits..

Plus if I were to ever see this animated, I could easily see that song being played during the final climax as the Condiment King tries to stop Batman from "spoiling his victory".

*Death to Dickie Duncan*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wBci8…

"Feeding poison to your kids so that I can get paid..."

Description
www.deviantart.com/blok--head/…

Similar to my previous take on "The Polka Dot Man", and with it receiving some positive feedback, figured I'd take a crack at some other infamous "Goofy" villains from the DC universe, and attempting to make them into more intimidating characters.

Today's special, yes pun intended, is the one and only 'The Condiment King'. (Originally from Batman the Animated Series)

Instead of a scrawny dork dressed in blue pajamas, while failing miserably at being a villain in general, here we have a more... twisted take as it were. As you can see, he's gained a few pounds, but don't let that fool you. He's more malicious than he appears.

(((Wall of Text Incoming.)))
--------

Buddy Standler was one of the top fry-cooks at the local family restaurant, 'Joe's burgers', a small run-of-the-mill fast food joint just outside of Gotham City.

You see, Buddy loved his job, and got along great with the original owner, who both worked there for over 27 years straight, until his boss sadly passed away due to a stroke, leaving Buddy as the last original employee.

Because of new management, he never saw eye to eye with how they decided to run the place. Tearing down some of the original structures for re-modeling. It got so bad, Buddy even began arguing with the boss, which eventually caused a public freak out during one of their busy days, many looking onward at the large man shouting and damn near threatening the owner with violence.

When security brought him out back, they not only fired him on the spot, but out right banned him from even stepping foot on the property ever again. This was the last straw that broke him. As he returned to his rundown apartment, he stares at the old memorabilia, having nostalgic flashbacks of the good ol' days.

*The Barbeque of 93*
"Served 3 whole full families of 12s to 15s... never even broke a sweat.."

*Grand Re-Opening 2002*
"Boss said I filled' up the whole house, never saw anything like it in years he said. Probably the proudest moments of my life...I made those people happy"

**among others...**

Buddy felt he let the original owner down, seeing their new ways of business as an insult to his legacy, and now with his recent departure, he slowly started to lose his sanity. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw nothing but a complete failure...
Sinking himself further into depression, this eventually had the land-lord concerned, as Buddy's rent was well overdue. However once the land-lord opened his door, he was utterly confused by what exactly he was looking at...

Buddy was standing there dressed from head to toe, in what appeared to be a blue jumpsuit, which barley even fit, exposing his out of shape stomach.

He also appears to have some kind of gadget wrapped around his body, built from his own little box of miscellaneous scraps, mostly out of the random junk he finds from his way home from the daily grind. The colored buttons on his chest aren't just for decoration either, as they act as an operator to his weapons of destruction.

What weapons you might ask? I mean its just ketchup and mustard inside those tanks, right? WRONG.

Inside are dangerous chemicals, sealed tight inside the metal containers on his back.

Red = Molten Plasma (Melted from the vast amounts of scrap metal, completely liquidated)
Yellow = Mustard Gas
Green = Hydrofluoric Acid
White = White Liquified Napalm-Sticky Putty

as you can clearly see, he intends to do some serious damage. And his first victim unfortunately, being the land-lord.

Without warning, he sprayed him in the face with the searing hot-plasma, straight down his throat killing him as he choked on the burning metals. As he struggled on the floor in agony, Buddy just stared at him and smiled with a wicked grin. He was going to get even with his old boss...

----
We later see the new owner, awakening in confusion as he's tied up to a wooden chair inside some dark basement, there he could hear muffled screams, as Buddy enters the room.
----

Larry: Who the hell are you, what's going on! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!

C.K.: Scream all you want Larry, nobody's gonna hear it... well, maybe except them.

**He pulls a lever turning on the lights, revealing that they were in fact inside the Meat Grinder room. On the conveyor belt, was the owner's family, tied to chairs and gagged. His wife and son were both terrified of the situation.**

C.K.: You took my livelihood, now I'm going to return the favor!

Larry: Just leave my family alone, you sick, twisted freak!! You better not lay a hand on them, or I swear to Go-..

C.K.: And you'll do what exactly? Need I remind you that I'm calling the shots here, bucko!! You see, I want you to feel the same kind of loss I felt.... You firing me from my life's passion, was like taking my own child away, then shoving it's lifeless husk back in my face, while still acting like nothings changed. Well, I think it would only be appropriate if I did the same to you, but in a literal sense.

Larry: You better not mean...

C.K.: OH BUT I AM LARRY!!, I'm going to grind your family to a bloody pulp, then I'll feed you their roasted carcasses on a warm, sesame seed bun until you puke!! Then when you're done sulking, I'll just let you sit there for a while, until I'm ready to finish the job....
---

Immediately out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something appear on the security cameras. A caped cloak, swiping across camera to camera. He knew exactly who it was...

C.K.: Well well, looks like someone tattle-tailed, no matter.

He tied Larry's mouth again so he couldn't make a sound, then proceeded to activate his "helpers" That being mechanical robots built from left-over parts of the original facility. He also attached various metal blades to their bodies to deal with pests like intruders or the law.

As the giant machine begins to power on, the grinder can be heard shredding loudly as the family begins to struggle in fear, trying their best to let out just the faintest scream, but to no avail. Larry tries to break free as well, but that son of a bitch tied his hands up pretty good, there was no way of freeing himself as he watched helpless to his family's demise.

With the grindhouse drones let loose inside the building, and in a race against the clock to save the owners family, Batman has little time to waste.

But after defeating each of the machines, he eventually found his way into the basement, there he saw the family being held. Right before he could even save them, he dodged out of the way from a blast of acid. The shot landed right behind him, and began burning through the drywall.

C.K.: Not so fast Batman, I'll be damned if I let you spoil my fun!

Batman: What you're doing is inhumane Standler, you need to be stopped. You need help.

C.K: Help? Where was 'help' when this bastard took everything from me?! This establishment, this legacy was almost mine and rightfully so!! Joe trusted me more then anyone, yet somehow this spiteful WORM seeped his way, and somehow got to take over instead of me?! He destroyed this restaurant's history for profit!! Where was "help" then, huh?! Its called an eye for an eye, Batman. You of all vigilantes should know about that!

Batman: So that gives you an excuse? Look at them, look at what you're doing to them. This isnt you, you're better then this Standler! Please, you gotta listen to reason.... you're going to far!

C.K.: Perhaps... or better yet!!

He began firing the plasma frantically, anticipating to burn the caped crusader to death, but he only managed to burn holes into his cape. With one swift strike, he socked him right in his jaw with a clean uppercut, sending Condiment King back into the desk, but knocking himself onto the controls, accelerating the conveyor belt's speed. Batman had no time to spare, he dashed for the family, and just barely missing, he pushed them off the machine.

With Larry's family saved, the Condiment King isn't finished just yet.

C.K.: "Fine, if that's how you wanna play! You can all choke on this!!

He untightened the yellow tank, and threw it inside the closed room before locking the doors and escaping. Batman had only a few minutes to free them before the gas poison's engulfed the entire building from the inside.

Fortunately, Condiment King underestimated Batman's tools, with explosive putty from his utility belt, he managed to blow open an escape path near the hallways, making it to safety just as the police finally arrived at the location, attempting to quarantine the place for the time being. That acid spit from earlier only made it easier for them to escape.

With the family of 3 now left unharmed, they may have won the battle, but Condiment King is still out there, and with the restaurant left in shambles, it'll probably take months before its back to their regular schedules. Whereever he strikes next, Batman will be there, and a one way ticket to Arkham Asylum awaits him in due time.

***But until then tune in again, Same Bat Time...., Same Bat... Villain, ah, fuck-it IDK.***
---------------------------------
Well that's really about it, granted I'm sure many will prefer the classic version, and I actually do like the original Condiment King in general, of him being an intentional joke rather then something like say, Kite Man. But I just wanted to do this for fun. And if you can think of any other bizarre or silly characters, I may consider it for the next batch.

One final note, another factor that inspired this version was from the song "Death to Dickie Duncan" by GWAR, as I feel it matches the unsettling tone I was going for regarding his personality. And with the themes of a disturbing fast food restaurant, I think it fits..

Plus if I were to ever see this animated, I could easily see that song being played during the final climax as the Condiment King tries to stop Batman from "spoiling his victory".

*Death to Dickie Duncan*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wBci8…

"Feeding poison to your kids so that I can get paid..."