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Description
Imaginary! Russia x suicidal reader. Imaginary.

warning:
Suicide
Suicidal thoughts
depressing manners
swearing
Some mental issues
you have been warned
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were born into a not so perfect world that you would of liked to change but you know, you can't not something like this anyway.
You see as you were growing up a lot of horrible things would happen too you, your parents always fought soon enough your mom moved out
and even after you moved out with her moving too your fathers back to your mothers.
After months your mother remarried too a bastard who you thought was alright but soon learned that he wasn't.
He was cruel.
Loud.
And hurtful.
He would tell you soo many hurtful things and tell you things that you weren't.
Your mental state cracked from then there believing that things that weren't real were real..but you knew better.
You became depressed and there were days where you just wanted too do many horrible things back too him back you couldn't.
All you could do was watch out for other people.
You wanted too live.
But yet you wanted too die.

You had good friends of course but they were sinking like you were and all you wanted too do was help them never too say anything about how you felt only to believe that it was much too late for you.
Though sometimes you wish you could break from them.
You loved them you did.
But...
But the way they were hurting and how you couldn't help just hurt you more and made the world darker and the unreal voices too speak out too you.
Loving you.
Helping you in your own way.

Now you sat on your laptop scrolling through choices of anime.
Sometime's you would watch the dubs but if they sounded horrible you would watch it in Japanese with subs.

You came across Hetalia.
And how you got into it was silly.
You rather liked the English version and the only one you could actually tolerate.
The accents would be perfect per character..
You smiled at how silly it was you loved how you could relate too a few characters.
But there was one....
Russia.
You would look at this character with such amazement even after all that shit he had too go through he still smiled and enjoyed everyone's company.
You soon read up on what character is what like their info.
Personality.

Your cracked mentality formed them too be real too you...though you knew still your embraced it.
This was what was real too you.
Sure there were other characters but Ivan stood out the most.
Talked too you the most.

Soon enough when being yelled at a figure of a tall man would stand behind your step dad with angry look.
Or hold you telling you other wise.

So unreal yet...so real.

You would lean on this force feeling the cold lean on you back.

"Let's make a promise da" This..force..Ivan? Spoke too you.
"Sure"
"when you die. In many years from now hopefully, have me in mind?" He whispered too you.
"Of course"

You see sure you were real and he was not..you two shared something..
Sure there were people around.
Sure you had family.
But the two of you were so, so alone.
Giving a hand out only too mess up or have it thrown back at you.
Too smile and pretend your alright when all was not well.

This world could be too much too handle.

Soon enough you were falling behind on many things as all you did was sit and daydream of small things like going out and doing cool things.
Having a family.
Fighting.
War.
Being happy.
....or even bleeding or dying.

You sat there with half open eye's before Ivan got into your view.
Sure he he looked and sound real but he was still slightly see through like a ghost even.
He was smiling at you.

"Is everything alright" He dropped a light hand onto your head.
"Yeah I'm okay right now" You spoke...

You only would be out loud when no one was around and in silence when people were around.
It was simple as that.
.
You've had Ivan for about a year and a half now and continued with him sure you would have other's around but he always stood out.
Always came back.
And it made you happy.
But yet you were sad that you could not feel how warm he was how soft he touches could be.
You can only imagine what it would be.
And that made you smile.
You would read x readers or little fan fictions with him that made you blush awkwardly.
When you had him kiss you your lips tingled. But yet.

You could hear him, talking about you.

"She's fucking weird" Your step dad spoke.
"Honey don't say that" Your mother trying too stand up for you.
"She sits there in her room and does fuck all when she does go outside its like someone's there when there isn't" He snapped back.
"She draws and writes and talks too her father on skype and cleans"
"But she's the reason why we fucking fight all the time!"
"Do not talk about her like that"
"And whats with her sudden obsession with Russia, it's not even a great country its full of bull shit"

You sat there glaring at your closed door angry.
Who was he too say things about you?
who was he too bring down many people because they lived some where besides in this country? (where ever country, besides Russia of course sorry)

"Honestly I think she needs help" He spoke once more.

You bit your lower lip you could hear Russia growling and appear before the door.

His thoughts were your thoughts...and your thoughts were his. You both were angry. You stood up.
You saw Russia's image falter a tad when you felt a gentle serge of fear.

"Have you seen the things she does too herself? I found a knife I found her scars! I heard her talking too herself a couple times before!"
"People talk too themselves all the time"
"Yeah when their trying too think of something NOT have a conversation!" He spat.

You started too tear up, you anger fear and sadness mixing together.
Ivans dark aura filling the room like a purple shadow.

"She pretends too say I love you too no one sometimes holding that stupid doll of hers. OH who is also a Russian thing of hers"
"Stop it"
"No fuck you, she needs too understand that she needs some fucking help"

You finally burst out the door staring him down.

"And I wouldn't be like this if you didn't talk me down over and over!" You screeched Ivan beside you yelling something differently.
"Don't you DARE talk about my sunflower like that! You good for nothing rat" Is what he said..Louder then anything you've ever heard.

It was almost deafening too you too hear him like that, his lips drawn back showing his teeth, purple eyes showing how angry he was, face twisted ready to chew someones head off.

Your step dad looked around like he heard Ivan but you must of hissed those words out at him without notice.
The room seemed..dark too you.

"Get out of my face" Was all your step dad managed too say standing over you, but Ivan stood taller.
Only..
Only if he could see Ivan. Then he would back off sit down and leave you alone.

"No, No fuck you fuck you, when did you have the right? So you own this house? You married my mother SO FUCKING WHAT? you didn't raise me for shit. Your just a giant good for nothing free loader!"

he went too open his mouth.

"I don't care how tall and big you are I AM TALLER and I AM BIGGER!" No you weren't.. those were Ivans words. But you felt tall right now.
"I may not look it but I am!" "Right now you are....Look at you" Ivan shot you a smirk.

Your step father has had enough of your outburst and hit you in the side of the head with his hand telling you too leave.
Suddenly..
All your anger.
That hate you've built up finally just over came you and the next then you knew, you were tackling down the bigger man shoving him down punching him in the spot where the sun does not shine.

"Do not touch me" You screamed loudly a hint of Russian in your accent.
"You crazy little shit!"

Soon your anger subsided too fear when he shot you a glare and quickly ran got your shoes and jacket and ran away outside into the melting snow.
You now sat at a bus stop Ivan beside you.

"If I go back anytime soon I'll loose everything there" You whispered a gentle hand on your back..or so you thought since a spot on your back started too tingle.
"But you did good...Finally standing up for yourself" He whispered.
"I know...I don't wanna do this anymore either though"
He just nodded.

You sighed. "It's time for us too go now"
"What do you mean (name)?"

You looked at the upcoming bus.
He knew..
He had too right?
It was something on your mind that he didn't like.

He stood up in front of you a hand held out. you reached out grabbing it and stood moving your closing too the edge of the street where the cars were coming by.
Your eyes never leaving his.
Soon he wrapped his arms around you, you did the same the bus coming closer.

soon the two of you tipped back horns blaring warning you too move out of the way.
And then you were lying there darkness threatening too take over.

Ivan stood over you his eyes wide and sad as they looked down at you, whatever kept your mind going kept him there, you looked up at him smiling of course he smiled back disappearing when your eyes saw nothing more.

Now you sat there staring at the screen Ivan standing behind you.

"Do you really wish too do this?" He spoke as you put this little x reader onto Deviant art.
"Yeah I think so" You stood up.
"You Know..I could be real..Some where else" He spoke following behind you as you walked out too the bus stop.
"Yeah In cosplay" You huffed.

You took position Ivan frowning slowly the two of you did what you just written not too long ago,
But this time Ivan looked up a grin formed on your face and you were confused.

The bus blocked out all noise but something different happened you were shoved and rolling in someones arms onto the other side of the street.
You opened your eyes too look past someone shoulders at Ivan who smiled down at the two of you...
Well you and someone else..
Someone who saved you...Some one you DIDN'T want around.
Soon Ivan disappeared..

"Phew that was a close one da" but.....how?

This person pulled back too get a better look of you.
Your eyes were wide open.

Violet eyes gazed at you in worry ash blond hair neatly on his head a some strands miss placed.
it didn't look like a wig. his nose was large and his...voice was spot on.
he helped you up and onto the side walk, he wore a red jacket and a scarf was tucked nicely around his neck.

"Are you okay?" He asked you.

You said nothing you just looked at him.
It was Ivan yet it wasn't.
It was too real too be Ivan. The skin was pale his cheeks were rosy though He had eyes like you, round not in a oval shape or split apart in that animated way.
And...very tall.

"Privyt?" He waved a hand before you face.

You reached out touching his face confused your hands running over his cheeks and over his nose trying to find the flaw of this cosplayer or imaginary real looking Ivan.

"I'm real I assure you" He chuckled grabbing your wrists gently and bringing them down so you could stop touching his face.
"B-But you have too be a really good cosplayer"
"Nye-..what is a cosplayer? is it those people that dress up?"
"Yeah something like that, but you look so much lik-
"Russia from Hetalia? Big tall? Russian like me?"
"yeeaaah"
"hahaha it's funny I found it kinda creepy though, it looked a lot like me even the human name is like mine da but the show was nice"
"uu-uh huh"

He gave a thinking look.

"I do not have a jacket like that though, but it does look warm" He smiled down at you.

You burst into tears and hugged him, he wasn't sure if it was because you were a big fan girl or because he saved you.
It was because you were happy...

"Thank you" You whispered.
"You are welcome da, seeing you suddenly slip in front of the bus had me worried" He sat patting your back.
"I-I bet"
"My Name is Ivan" He said slightly smiling sure you already knew cause of that damned show that was oddly a lot like him and his friends. He mad an odd face.
"I'm (name)" You muttered looking around for your Ivan not the real one.
"Would you like too get some coffee with me?" He asked and started walking you beside him nodding.

After all this you and Ivan would see each other now and again enjoying each others company.
Hell you even brought Ivan over too your house too prove that he was real.. sure you had to explain too him why, not in full detail.
That and he was big and made your step dad back off and truly grateful.
And time too time you would look around for your animated Russia.. that you sadly never heard or seen again.
You smiled though you had the real one now.
And that made you even happier then the one you've been with for a year and a half.

fin~

Description
Imaginary! Russia x suicidal reader. Imaginary.

warning:
Suicide
Suicidal thoughts
depressing manners
swearing
Some mental issues
you have been warned
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were born into a not so perfect world that you would of liked to change but you know, you can't not something like this anyway.
You see as you were growing up a lot of horrible things would happen too you, your parents always fought soon enough your mom moved out
and even after you moved out with her moving too your fathers back to your mothers.
After months your mother remarried too a bastard who you thought was alright but soon learned that he wasn't.
He was cruel.
Loud.
And hurtful.
He would tell you soo many hurtful things and tell you things that you weren't.
Your mental state cracked from then there believing that things that weren't real were real..but you knew better.
You became depressed and there were days where you just wanted too do many horrible things back too him back you couldn't.
All you could do was watch out for other people.
You wanted too live.
But yet you wanted too die.

You had good friends of course but they were sinking like you were and all you wanted too do was help them never too say anything about how you felt only to believe that it was much too late for you.
Though sometimes you wish you could break from them.
You loved them you did.
But...
But the way they were hurting and how you couldn't help just hurt you more and made the world darker and the unreal voices too speak out too you.
Loving you.
Helping you in your own way.

Now you sat on your laptop scrolling through choices of anime.
Sometime's you would watch the dubs but if they sounded horrible you would watch it in Japanese with subs.

You came across Hetalia.
And how you got into it was silly.
You rather liked the English version and the only one you could actually tolerate.
The accents would be perfect per character..
You smiled at how silly it was you loved how you could relate too a few characters.
But there was one....
Russia.
You would look at this character with such amazement even after all that shit he had too go through he still smiled and enjoyed everyone's company.
You soon read up on what character is what like their info.
Personality.

Your cracked mentality formed them too be real too you...though you knew still your embraced it.
This was what was real too you.
Sure there were other characters but Ivan stood out the most.
Talked too you the most.

Soon enough when being yelled at a figure of a tall man would stand behind your step dad with angry look.
Or hold you telling you other wise.

So unreal yet...so real.

You would lean on this force feeling the cold lean on you back.

"Let's make a promise da" This..force..Ivan? Spoke too you.
"Sure"
"when you die. In many years from now hopefully, have me in mind?" He whispered too you.
"Of course"

You see sure you were real and he was not..you two shared something..
Sure there were people around.
Sure you had family.
But the two of you were so, so alone.
Giving a hand out only too mess up or have it thrown back at you.
Too smile and pretend your alright when all was not well.

This world could be too much too handle.

Soon enough you were falling behind on many things as all you did was sit and daydream of small things like going out and doing cool things.
Having a family.
Fighting.
War.
Being happy.
....or even bleeding or dying.

You sat there with half open eye's before Ivan got into your view.
Sure he he looked and sound real but he was still slightly see through like a ghost even.
He was smiling at you.

"Is everything alright" He dropped a light hand onto your head.
"Yeah I'm okay right now" You spoke...

You only would be out loud when no one was around and in silence when people were around.
It was simple as that.
.
You've had Ivan for about a year and a half now and continued with him sure you would have other's around but he always stood out.
Always came back.
And it made you happy.
But yet you were sad that you could not feel how warm he was how soft he touches could be.
You can only imagine what it would be.
And that made you smile.
You would read x readers or little fan fictions with him that made you blush awkwardly.
When you had him kiss you your lips tingled. But yet.

You could hear him, talking about you.

"She's fucking weird" Your step dad spoke.
"Honey don't say that" Your mother trying too stand up for you.
"She sits there in her room and does fuck all when she does go outside its like someone's there when there isn't" He snapped back.
"She draws and writes and talks too her father on skype and cleans"
"But she's the reason why we fucking fight all the time!"
"Do not talk about her like that"
"And whats with her sudden obsession with Russia, it's not even a great country its full of bull shit"

You sat there glaring at your closed door angry.
Who was he too say things about you?
who was he too bring down many people because they lived some where besides in this country? (where ever country, besides Russia of course sorry)

"Honestly I think she needs help" He spoke once more.

You bit your lower lip you could hear Russia growling and appear before the door.

His thoughts were your thoughts...and your thoughts were his. You both were angry. You stood up.
You saw Russia's image falter a tad when you felt a gentle serge of fear.

"Have you seen the things she does too herself? I found a knife I found her scars! I heard her talking too herself a couple times before!"
"People talk too themselves all the time"
"Yeah when their trying too think of something NOT have a conversation!" He spat.

You started too tear up, you anger fear and sadness mixing together.
Ivans dark aura filling the room like a purple shadow.

"She pretends too say I love you too no one sometimes holding that stupid doll of hers. OH who is also a Russian thing of hers"
"Stop it"
"No fuck you, she needs too understand that she needs some fucking help"

You finally burst out the door staring him down.

"And I wouldn't be like this if you didn't talk me down over and over!" You screeched Ivan beside you yelling something differently.
"Don't you DARE talk about my sunflower like that! You good for nothing rat" Is what he said..Louder then anything you've ever heard.

It was almost deafening too you too hear him like that, his lips drawn back showing his teeth, purple eyes showing how angry he was, face twisted ready to chew someones head off.

Your step dad looked around like he heard Ivan but you must of hissed those words out at him without notice.
The room seemed..dark too you.

"Get out of my face" Was all your step dad managed too say standing over you, but Ivan stood taller.
Only..
Only if he could see Ivan. Then he would back off sit down and leave you alone.

"No, No fuck you fuck you, when did you have the right? So you own this house? You married my mother SO FUCKING WHAT? you didn't raise me for shit. Your just a giant good for nothing free loader!"

he went too open his mouth.

"I don't care how tall and big you are I AM TALLER and I AM BIGGER!" No you weren't.. those were Ivans words. But you felt tall right now.
"I may not look it but I am!" "Right now you are....Look at you" Ivan shot you a smirk.

Your step father has had enough of your outburst and hit you in the side of the head with his hand telling you too leave.
Suddenly..
All your anger.
That hate you've built up finally just over came you and the next then you knew, you were tackling down the bigger man shoving him down punching him in the spot where the sun does not shine.

"Do not touch me" You screamed loudly a hint of Russian in your accent.
"You crazy little shit!"

Soon your anger subsided too fear when he shot you a glare and quickly ran got your shoes and jacket and ran away outside into the melting snow.
You now sat at a bus stop Ivan beside you.

"If I go back anytime soon I'll loose everything there" You whispered a gentle hand on your back..or so you thought since a spot on your back started too tingle.
"But you did good...Finally standing up for yourself" He whispered.
"I know...I don't wanna do this anymore either though"
He just nodded.

You sighed. "It's time for us too go now"
"What do you mean (name)?"

You looked at the upcoming bus.
He knew..
He had too right?
It was something on your mind that he didn't like.

He stood up in front of you a hand held out. you reached out grabbing it and stood moving your closing too the edge of the street where the cars were coming by.
Your eyes never leaving his.
Soon he wrapped his arms around you, you did the same the bus coming closer.

soon the two of you tipped back horns blaring warning you too move out of the way.
And then you were lying there darkness threatening too take over.

Ivan stood over you his eyes wide and sad as they looked down at you, whatever kept your mind going kept him there, you looked up at him smiling of course he smiled back disappearing when your eyes saw nothing more.

Now you sat there staring at the screen Ivan standing behind you.

"Do you really wish too do this?" He spoke as you put this little x reader onto Deviant art.
"Yeah I think so" You stood up.
"You Know..I could be real..Some where else" He spoke following behind you as you walked out too the bus stop.
"Yeah In cosplay" You huffed.

You took position Ivan frowning slowly the two of you did what you just written not too long ago,
But this time Ivan looked up a grin formed on your face and you were confused.

The bus blocked out all noise but something different happened you were shoved and rolling in someones arms onto the other side of the street.
You opened your eyes too look past someone shoulders at Ivan who smiled down at the two of you...
Well you and someone else..
Someone who saved you...Some one you DIDN'T want around.
Soon Ivan disappeared..

"Phew that was a close one da" but.....how?

This person pulled back too get a better look of you.
Your eyes were wide open.

Violet eyes gazed at you in worry ash blond hair neatly on his head a some strands miss placed.
it didn't look like a wig. his nose was large and his...voice was spot on.
he helped you up and onto the side walk, he wore a red jacket and a scarf was tucked nicely around his neck.

"Are you okay?" He asked you.

You said nothing you just looked at him.
It was Ivan yet it wasn't.
It was too real too be Ivan. The skin was pale his cheeks were rosy though He had eyes like you, round not in a oval shape or split apart in that animated way.
And...very tall.

"Privyt?" He waved a hand before you face.

You reached out touching his face confused your hands running over his cheeks and over his nose trying to find the flaw of this cosplayer or imaginary real looking Ivan.

"I'm real I assure you" He chuckled grabbing your wrists gently and bringing them down so you could stop touching his face.
"B-But you have too be a really good cosplayer"
"Nye-..what is a cosplayer? is it those people that dress up?"
"Yeah something like that, but you look so much lik-
"Russia from Hetalia? Big tall? Russian like me?"
"yeeaaah"
"hahaha it's funny I found it kinda creepy though, it looked a lot like me even the human name is like mine da but the show was nice"
"uu-uh huh"

He gave a thinking look.

"I do not have a jacket like that though, but it does look warm" He smiled down at you.

You burst into tears and hugged him, he wasn't sure if it was because you were a big fan girl or because he saved you.
It was because you were happy...

"Thank you" You whispered.
"You are welcome da, seeing you suddenly slip in front of the bus had me worried" He sat patting your back.
"I-I bet"
"My Name is Ivan" He said slightly smiling sure you already knew cause of that damned show that was oddly a lot like him and his friends. He mad an odd face.
"I'm (name)" You muttered looking around for your Ivan not the real one.
"Would you like too get some coffee with me?" He asked and started walking you beside him nodding.

After all this you and Ivan would see each other now and again enjoying each others company.
Hell you even brought Ivan over too your house too prove that he was real.. sure you had to explain too him why, not in full detail.
That and he was big and made your step dad back off and truly grateful.
And time too time you would look around for your animated Russia.. that you sadly never heard or seen again.
You smiled though you had the real one now.
And that made you even happier then the one you've been with for a year and a half.

fin~