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bouncing-splitpin — .
Published: 2005-05-16 19:08:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 110; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description Searching places in my mind
Hunting things i cannot find
Darkest alleys, bleakest moors
Secrets locked behind closed doors
Screaming voices in the depths
Running hearing all my breaths
No places left for me to hide
No faces for me to confide
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bouncing-splitpin - Monsters of the Earth
Comments: 15

lordbeazy [2005-09-06 16:05:36 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lordbeazy [2005-09-06 18:24:17 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much.

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lucky-tweak [2005-06-20 04:22:11 +0000 UTC]

nice structure

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lucky-tweak [2005-06-20 13:11:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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MistressSnowSpider [2005-05-27 12:08:48 +0000 UTC]

The rhythm is really good, you maintained it well. It sort makes me think of someone running around looking for something they've lost (or a place to hide).

...glad you visited my page, you have a few gems here.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to MistressSnowSpider [2005-06-03 20:43:38 +0000 UTC]

thank you i kind of know what its about but alot of it just comes from emotions or stuff and some of it is random so its good people get it!

Thank you very much!

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hitchcockm00 [2005-05-20 21:42:18 +0000 UTC]

veeeeeery good. Really like the rhythm and rhyme.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to hitchcockm00 [2005-05-22 20:17:18 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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hitchcockm00 In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-05-22 21:13:25 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome

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mbollutchu [2005-05-20 06:48:20 +0000 UTC]

So touchy...
Does it reflect your life? Because it reflects mine...

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to mbollutchu [2005-05-20 19:37:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! Aww it did when i wrote it but its pretty good at the moment.

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matt1783 [2005-05-18 21:41:37 +0000 UTC]

nice one it flows nicely. could have mebbe been a bit longer though, but dw i suffer from short poem disease too

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to matt1783 [2005-05-20 19:32:20 +0000 UTC]

hee hee thank you! Im not very good with long poems coz i get some stuff stuck in my head and i write it but afterwards sometimes if i try and make it long it sounds forced and kinda rubbish! I'll try and put up some longer ones i have if u want. Good good fellow sufferer or however its spelt!

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dark-oblivion2 [2005-05-17 04:44:58 +0000 UTC]

I like it. Has a nice flow and rhythm.

I love the imagery too. I actually picture myself running around in hysterics trying to find a place that I can hide in peace to try and understand myself, and also a person I can tell my secrets to. lovely.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to dark-oblivion2 [2005-05-17 13:37:27 +0000 UTC]

thank youuuuu so much i really appreciate it it was written in a sort of bleh moment but i like it none the less! Also thank you for commenting coz i cant c it!

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dark-oblivion2 In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-05-18 00:00:38 +0000 UTC]

welcome! its a wonderful piece.

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