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bouncing-splitpin — Delusion
Published: 2005-06-11 17:55:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 105; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description She sits alone, scared.
The lights once so bright,
dimmed by despair.
Her misery clouding thoughts,
arms once so open
closed now.
Away, never needed,
but she's reaching,
drowning not waving,
screaming not smiling.
Lost in her own world
of delusion.
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bouncing-splitpin - Monsters of the Earth
Comments: 13

lordbeazy [2005-08-17 16:00:49 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lordbeazy [2005-08-21 20:47:35 +0000 UTC]

beautiful reply thank you. x

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lordbeazy In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-08-22 09:30:44 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lordbeazy [2005-08-23 21:18:33 +0000 UTC]

awww thanks

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lucky-tweak [2005-06-20 04:18:02 +0000 UTC]

thats a really nice poem, those assemblies that other person is talking about, i see that point entirely but there are times when poets should be allowed to embrace the cliche, theres nothing wrong with that, in my poems i try to steer away from it, either that or i make a large point of it turning it into irony. lol
woohoo nice poem .

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lucky-tweak [2005-06-20 13:03:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!! so much! i know that some cliches are too ick but some of them fit so well a feeling you have to use them.
Yay!

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scatter-brain [2005-06-11 21:12:14 +0000 UTC]

that's very atmospheric, i like all of it apart from this part:

"drowning not waving"
not because of you, but because my headteacher used to tell us poem with that in all the time which was meant to "motivate" us but was actually really annoying
so basically that part reminds me of crap assemblies

but other than that, it is very good and reminds me of lots of times.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to scatter-brain [2005-06-11 21:18:45 +0000 UTC]

thank youuuu! hee hee ok i got worried when i read that bit first! stupid assemblies!!!!

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scatter-brain In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-06-11 21:31:58 +0000 UTC]

hehe, you're welcome. yup very stupid assemblies but i kind of miss laughing at them now

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to scatter-brain [2005-06-13 19:23:26 +0000 UTC]

i dont think i ever laughed in one of our assemblies, at least not recently anyhoo

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scatter-brain In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-06-13 19:43:47 +0000 UTC]

you should have been in one of our Father Jolian ones..

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to scatter-brain [2005-06-13 19:56:54 +0000 UTC]

ummm k

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hitchcockm00 [2005-06-11 20:20:40 +0000 UTC]

thats goooooood

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to hitchcockm00 [2005-06-11 21:10:11 +0000 UTC]

mmm im not sure, i wanna tweak it i think

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hitchcockm00 In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-06-11 21:12:30 +0000 UTC]

okey dokey.

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