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bouncing-splitpin — Listen
Published: 2005-07-19 19:39:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 99; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description Listen to my silent screams
Hear me calling in my dreams
Living lives i cannot save
Walking paths as yet unpaved
No way back, escape this hate
No way forward, save the hate
I pull myself towards the end
Wounds growing which i cannot mend
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Comments: 17

lordbeazy [2005-08-08 10:20:57 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to lordbeazy [2005-08-08 20:44:56 +0000 UTC]

thank you, im gald it came across like that and hopefully not too attention seekingly pathetic. sort of uncertain as well.

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matt1783 [2005-07-22 18:42:05 +0000 UTC]

this is really good, there is a good amount of emotion in the poem and the lines flow one into another so much better than your last one. i really like this and its definatly one of your best

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to matt1783 [2005-07-25 21:30:45 +0000 UTC]

thank you! maybe its just the fac it rhymes

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dark-oblivion2 [2005-07-22 04:04:26 +0000 UTC]

I like. Very emotive. I, also, think it flows especially well.

I find myself stumbling through life, holes just getting deeper and deeper, problems just getting tougher and harder to sort out. Things just pile on.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to dark-oblivion2 [2005-07-25 21:34:19 +0000 UTC]

thank you! i know so true!

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hitchcockm00 [2005-07-19 20:16:49 +0000 UTC]

very good! So that's why you wanted to know how to spell unpaved hehe.

It flows really well.
Can't think to write a detailed comment right now sorry.
I like it alot though. Keep up the good work.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to hitchcockm00 [2005-07-19 21:15:21 +0000 UTC]

thats ok! yeah i didnt know, im rubbish at spelling!! im glad u like it, i was getting paranoid!!

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hitchcockm00 In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-07-19 21:43:57 +0000 UTC]

gdgd.

why were u getting paranoid?

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to hitchcockm00 [2005-07-20 19:21:07 +0000 UTC]

tis a long and paranoid story! maybe i'll tell u sometime.

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hitchcockm00 In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-07-20 21:27:50 +0000 UTC]

hehe okey dokey, I look forward to it.

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Shadows0and0Light [2005-07-19 19:41:15 +0000 UTC]

oh wow i like that
are you continueing it or leaving it like this?

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to Shadows0and0Light [2005-07-19 19:51:38 +0000 UTC]

im not really sure. i generally write stuff like this kinda on the spurr of the moment so each one is slightly different, i guess at some point i should sit down and try and fix some of them together i just get scared sometimes that the rhymes would turn out forced or it wouldnt keep the same feeling. Obviously thats just me and it probably doesnt show but its something i have in my head! hee hee this is turning into an essay! thank you very much for the comment!

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Shadows0and0Light In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-07-19 20:19:25 +0000 UTC]

you should try it some tim, even though you're scared. I mean atleats try cuz if you don't like you then you dont have to submit it or do anything. lol you can just throw it away.
i thought it was pretty cool and your welcome

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to Shadows0and0Light [2005-07-19 21:11:49 +0000 UTC]

hee hee i can hide them at the back of my desk and never see them again!

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Shadows0and0Light In reply to bouncing-splitpin [2005-07-20 10:36:49 +0000 UTC]

yup yup!
lol its what i do!

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eco375 [2005-07-19 19:40:44 +0000 UTC]

Ooh. Nice. I like it alot. Keep up the good work. :3

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to eco375 [2005-07-19 19:47:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!

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