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bouncing-splitpin — O, unexpected
Published: 2006-02-15 23:23:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 123; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description You were not as expected
but yet
i liked what i saw,
and again
when i looked closer
i liked even more.
I was trapped
i didnt care,
i cut the ropes.
Jumped.
As i fell past
you the touch
which passed between,
was a fire burning bright
in my abyss.
Melted my ice heart
but as water
slipped through your fingers.
Did you even try to catch me
as i fell?
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bouncing-splitpin - Monsters of the Earth
Comments: 5

XmorbidbloodX [2006-02-18 15:40:59 +0000 UTC]

though everyone else says how confusing it was, i myself, did not find it in the least confusing. I have felt those same exact feelings before. ....though, unlike you were unable to find the correct words.
It was really wonderful.

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bouncing-splitpin In reply to XmorbidbloodX [2006-02-19 12:13:21 +0000 UTC]

thank you so very much, it means alot to know that people could understand the feelings that were going on at the time. im sure you would have done

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lordbeazy [2006-02-16 10:44:15 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

bouncing-splitpin In reply to lordbeazy [2006-02-16 19:57:49 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much. x

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Dilznacka [2006-02-16 01:07:24 +0000 UTC]

im not sure how you wanted the poem to sound but i thought it was a little akward maybe,

when i looked closer
i became fixed
i was trapped
cutting the ropes
i jumped

i like it very much other then that. sometimes you gotta take your chances and be ready to be hurt.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

bouncing-splitpin In reply to Dilznacka [2006-02-16 01:10:14 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much, it was a very old one that when i wrote i was proud of but when i came to put up questioned. thank you for the suggestions. yeah.

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