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BR0KEN-TYP3-WRIT3R — Reflection
Published: 2008-12-19 17:38:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 499; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Description
This is a poem I wrote during Physics class. I have decided to post it with a picture to keep the immature deviants from pressing the download button.I wasn't sure what category to put this under, sorry.
NOTE: My art is NOT free for download or printing, all the pieces are © by me. Respect my work please. I'm putting my time and heart into it. Thank you.
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Comments: 26
I like the simplicity of the poem and the format it was written in, the short lines seemed to portray a momentary disconnect between thoughts, as if the narrator were tracking all the avenues of the thought thread.
However, I thought there were times when the lines disconnected too much and I had to stop and re-read a few lines, trying to find the connection or reason for the subject jump. This jarred me while reading and I had to make a conscious effort to get back into the flow of the poem. After reading the poem through a few times I was finally able to see all the connections you were making between imagery, but by then the flow was interrupted and I couldn't enjoy the peaceful and thoughtful emotion you seemed to be trying to communicate.
As a sort of side note, the line about moving a powerful person I think either has a spelling mistake or is worded incorrectly. It doesn't read properly at all.
That aside, this is a very thoughtful poem. I did enjoy it and I like the abstract ideas it presents and the imagery is very nice.
I hope this helps
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yes, i see what you mean. i did write this about three and a half years ago so its kind of on the lesser side. i'm hoping my work as improved some since then.
oh no! you're right! it's supposed to say "most powerful man". shoot...and i can't do anything about it either 'cause i no longer have this so i can't fix it...darn it. well, thank you very much for pointing this out to me. i really appreciate your feedback.
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nice poem... my reflection reveals a beautiful soul standing alone...
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ah. either you're talking about me or you're playing conceited. -laughs-
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Oh i play conceited, it's a role i was born for!
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-laughs and rolls my eyes- men...
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Wow, you made something that's so simple seem so beautiful.
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Thank you very much.
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Thanks, thank you for the favourite as well. I can't believe I wrote that so long ago. It almost feels like I just submitted that poem a few days ago.
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Haha, I know what you mean about stuff like that. I was going through my gallery the other day and was like "Woah! I took that that long ago!?"
xD
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My most recent deviation was posted in some club thing today and has gotten a few hits. Although I'm not sure if that's good or not given the material. -shrugs- Ah well, at least I'm starting to get noticed, right?
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Yea, posting in clubs is a great way to get noticed by I have discovered that sometimes it doesnt lead people to your gallery like you want them too haha
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Actually, they found me.
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Maybe I'm better than I thought I was.
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My word this might be the best poem I've read all year (and no I'm not just saying that) the picture goes perfectly with the poem and actually helps enhance the entire mood of the poem.
Oh and just because you mentioned it, probably the right catagory for this entry would have been visual poetry.
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So what's your favourite poem this year?
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Sad...why? -hug-
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Just the ending message, ya no? *hugs back*
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-shrugs- I guess. Hey, did you know we met around a year ago already?
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