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ashimbabbar In reply to The-Raven-Soul [2015-02-23 00:50:14 +0000 UTC]

In order to make a thing, some preliminary questions should be answered

- how is probably-Casey trapped ? What is preventing her from going away ?

- did the friends die all at once ( plane/bus/whatever ), or separately ?

- are they zombies ? ghosts ? some other supernatural* ? or just dead ?
if just dead, are their bodies at the school ? or is it only their memories probably-Casey can't escape from ? ( if so, the story could be happening only in her mind )

* right now I would favor the notion they have been absorbed by one entity so that only incoherent fragments of their former identities are left…

I'm sure more questions could be found.
The problem with a title that offers so many possibilities is that it is frustrating to choose one and discard the others…

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The-Raven-Soul In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-02-23 01:09:10 +0000 UTC]

The notion you favor certainly seems like a plot waiting to happen! Perhaps discussion can make something more concrete. Of course, only if you wish to do so.

Perhaps if this entity has absorbed her friends and left only incoherent fragments, then perhaps probably-Casey is trapped because the entity sealed off the building from reality or something funky like that in order to hunt down and absorb these kids, in which case they would have been likely killed one by one.
Of course then the question arises whether Casey is trying to get her friends back (if there's a way) and then escape or is she trying to get away but is haunted by memories of them as she tries through those broken fragments. or perhaps something else entirely. 

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ashimbabbar In reply to The-Raven-Soul [2015-02-24 00:18:19 +0000 UTC]

After some reflection, I think the "friends" angle might hold the key to the story. Because unless we assume the title means "trapped in a school with all your dead friends and a bunch of other dead people" - which is a little underwhelming to my taste - it is specifically probably-Casey's friends that died.

If we keep the idea of the entity absorbing them, it must mean, I believe,
. either that probably-Casey and her friends did something to attract its attention ( in that case, it may be the other students, teachers etc fled unhindered and the entity trapped only the merry gang )
. or that they were alone at the school at the time the entity happened… ( in this second possibility, probably-Casey may have been late and discovered her last friends being consumed, and found herself trapped with the entity… )
As you point, it may be, too, in either of those possibilities, that probably-Casey came at the school after her friends' demise and at least partly aware of what exactly happened, with the idea of freeing them insofar as possible…

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The-Raven-Soul In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-02-24 02:17:45 +0000 UTC]

I feel that combining the two is much more interesting. Perhaps this entity felt this group of friends had the greatest spiritual connection with each other and decided to absorb them in order to achieve its own full potential or something like that. It then lured them into the school after hours, and cut them from reality, trapping them in the school together and picking them off one by one, until only probably-Casey is left. And now that she knows that the entity will pursue her until it has caught her, perhaps she turns to an offensive tactic, deciding to destroy the thing rather than run from it!
And here, the leftover ghostly pieces of friends can come into play by providing her with clues to information she needs in order to achieve this!

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ashimbabbar In reply to The-Raven-Soul [2015-02-24 17:19:54 +0000 UTC]

The "greatest spiritual connection" angle is extremely interesting, however it would have to be shown somehow in the story, either in a first part before they get absorbed or in one or more flashbacks. I don't think it would be easy to write in a convincing way. Still it is vastly better than "they dabbled into dark stuff and it bit them".

Also, it would mean the entity's feelings would have to be expressed at some point. Perhaps it would be better done by the remains of a friend giving what s/he understands of them…

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ceilingstars In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-02-27 19:47:39 +0000 UTC]

On this topic, who's to say that the school was THEIR school?
We all know teenagers do some really dumb things, for example visiting "haunted" buildings.
By my perception, probably-Casey went to visit an old school, one shut down after a major event like a shooting, bombing, fire, etc. Of course, as with all spooky old buildings, it is haunted by those who had died there. Students, teachers, the warty lunchlady.
In this misadventure, probably-Casey become trapped in this building by dead, angry teachers, and the ghost students become her friends and help her escape.

But maybe that's just because I don't want to kill all of Casey's friends.

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ashimbabbar In reply to ceilingstars [2015-02-27 23:14:03 +0000 UTC]

so, you would interpret "all of your dead friends" as "all those of your friends that you befriended after their death."

Well, it's not impossible, but I think the story would be vastly better, with much more emotional impact, if probably-Casey's living friends had died. It seems to me that it is what the title announces… then again it doesn't seem we like the same kinds of stories.

If you were to follow your idea, it would in my opinion be far better to have probably-Casey make friends with the ghosts of all the victims whether students, teachers or what; and have the trapped part either by the shooter/bomber… if the massive death was by human agency, or by something else if it was an accident. THis students-vs-teachers I think rather childish… then again, do as you like.

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Brakkenimation In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-02-28 13:28:42 +0000 UTC]

This has been a lot of fun to read so far

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ashimbabbar In reply to Brakkenimation [2015-03-01 22:49:06 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you like what we've done with your idea - it's only one of the many possibilities it offers but I feel it's rather promising…

Did you decide on a name for probably-Casey ?

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Brakkenimation In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-03-02 18:01:00 +0000 UTC]

Well allow me to answer your question with another question...

What if 'Casey' and the ambiguity of her name is part of the story somehow? ;o

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ashimbabbar In reply to Brakkenimation [2015-03-03 00:04:15 +0000 UTC]

do her dead friends know her true name then ?

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Brakkenimation In reply to ashimbabbar [2015-03-04 19:08:22 +0000 UTC]

I don't know, ashimbabbar

do they?

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