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Sam: We’ve got to stop this TV program😠!

Max: Stop it? It’s the greatest moment of my deeply superficial life!

Sam: Nonetheless. We’ll be trapped here forever if we don’t do something.

Twilight Sparkle: Sam’s right, we’ll have to think of a way to snap her out of it without her stopping us.

Max: Look, unless you take out Myra or that bear, or both, you’ll never stop it. I say, relax and enjoy the unreal, soul-hollowing ride!

Applejack: Unless we’re already forced to!

Sam: Humanity’s not safe well that mysteriously little Hypno-bear is on the loose.

Max: Are we part of humanity, Sam?

Sam: Not technically, but we’re in danger too.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, back with Myra.

Sam: *ahem*

Myra Stump: Ah, yes. Where were we? I think we were discussing the “Alien Love Triangle Times” and that nasty scandalous affair of yours.

Max: I’d like to talk about me.

Myra Stump: I prefer my guests’ naked egos to be just a little less naked, dear.

Max: Oh, absolutely, Myra. That’s exactly what Reese Butterfingers told me when sniping river rats at cannes! She thought I had the cool-eyed aim of a professional!

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Max: I’d like to talk about myself!

Myra Stump: ...and a project you’re working on, perhaps?

Max: You said it, Myra! I am an ongoing project — like a golden calf or a graven image I’ll only rest once people are sacrificing their first-born uno me! Also, I’d like to direct .

Myra Stump: Fame went to your head quickly, dear.

Max: It’s a short trip!

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Spike the Dragon: Does she really have to keep repeating it like a broken record😒?

Applejack: Ah’d like ta talk about me and Spike.

Myra Stump: A dragon? I thought dragons were extinct.

Spike the Dragon: That’s what they all say.

Applejack: Spike was raised by Twilight and her family. He can eat gems, breath fire, send messages to Princess Celestia, and got his wings.

Myra Stump: And what about you, dear? Do you know why you’re named “Applejack”?

Applejack: Mah mom gave me that name. And mah dad gave me this hat that ah’m wearin’ like always.

Myra Stump: So what were your parents like?

Applejack: Mah dad was on the Apple side and mah mom was on the Pear side.

Audience: *gasp*

Myra Stump: You’re mother and her family are pears? Are you really half-Pear?

Applejack: Honestly, ah didn’t know at first, Myra. After Apple Bloom was born, they passed away.

Audience: Awww...

Myra Stump: Must be tragically tough being an honest orphan like yourself.

Applejack: Yeah, but me, mah little sis, Apple Bloom, and mah big brother, Big Macintosh have our grandma, Granny Smith. Me and mah family live in a farm in Sweet Apple Acres. Ah apple buck trees and collect apples ta make anything from apples. It’s part of the Apple Family business after all. That’s the honest truth.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! Let’s talk about me!

Myra Stump: I assume you’re called Pinkie Pie because of how pink you are.

Pinkie Pie: That’s right, Myra! I’m all pink and I work in a bakery called Sugar Cube Corner in Ponyvile. My family are grey and all about rocks.

Audience: Oooo!

Myra Stump: Rocks? Why rocks? Rocks are hard and definitely not food.

Pinkie Pie: I know. My parents are usually busy. My sister Limestone is very protective of her boulder. My younger sister Marble is always the quiet one which I usually help out with. And my big sister Maud is a pro with different kinds of rock.

Myra Stump: Right. And from the looks of it, you’re completely different from your family.

Pinkie Pie: That’s because I’m a bundle of joy! Thanks to my cutie mark, I was able to make any of them laugh. I can also blow up balloons, make pastries, plan parties, aaaaaand make every pony laugh with all of my gags!

Audience:

Pinkie Pie: Making others laugh is way too much fun in a good way.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Pinkie Pie: ( She just won’t stop asking the same question, will she?) Why don’t we talk about my friend, Fluttershy!

Fluttershy: 😨...

Myra Stump: She looks a little nervous. Is she always this shy?

Pinkie Pie: She sure is but she’s very kind. Plus, she really loves animals! Including her pet bunny, Angel. She can tame any animal.

Fluttershy: And sometimes when they’re not listening or behaving, I’ll have no other choice but to use the stare on them.

Audience: Oooo!

Myra Stump: Now that’s showing anyone who’s boss.

Fluttershy: But I’m also able to communicate with my animal friends.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rarity: Miss Myra, why don’t we try to talk about myself.

Myra Stump: Such lovely eyeshadow and remarkable mane, Rarity. How do you keep yourself beautiful and radiant?

Rarity: In case you know, darling, I am one of the most professional fashion designers that can glamorously bring out the exquisite beauty of outfits and dresses to ponies in Ponyvile.

Audience: Oooo😯!

Myra Stump: My goodness! A fashion designer like you must be proud to be on my show😃.

Rarity: What can I say? I’m all about fashion and generosity.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: Okay, let’s talk about me!

Myra Stump: My, you’re a fussy one. So, Rainbow Dash, how fast can you fly?

Rainbow Dash: As fast as lightning! And I’m also loyal. When I was a filly, I was challenged and then flew so fast I did a Sonic Rainboom! Because of that, I got my cutie mark.

Audience: Oooo🤩!

Myra Stump: Incredible! Absolutely incredible!

Rainbow Dash: What’s more incredible is that it also gave my friends their cutie marks. And I even enjoy seeing the Wonderbolts.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: (Why that little💢...) *inhales and exhales* I’d like to talk about the Princess of Friendship herself. Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Myra Stump: A princess, eh? Looks like we got royalty here, folks. You’re highness, I understand that you enjoy reading books.

Twilight Sparkle: It’s true. Reading books is my hobby.

Myra Stump: And it’s quite a privilege that you’re also the head mistress of this friendship school of yours. Tell me, how did you earn these wings and become a princess?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, Myra, back when I was just a unicorn, my friends and I ventured to the Everfree Forest to find the Elements of Harmony. Testing out Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. Each of them earned the five elements and I earned the sixth.

Myra Stump: And what was the sixth element?

Twilight Sparkle: The sixth element was Magic. After I learned everything about friendship, I became an alicorn and the Princess of Friendship. And began working at the School of Friendship as head mistress which me and my friends enjoy very much.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: Grr💢! This is getting really annoying!

Description
Sam: We’ve got to stop this TV program😠!

Max: Stop it? It’s the greatest moment of my deeply superficial life!

Sam: Nonetheless. We’ll be trapped here forever if we don’t do something.

Twilight Sparkle: Sam’s right, we’ll have to think of a way to snap her out of it without her stopping us.

Max: Look, unless you take out Myra or that bear, or both, you’ll never stop it. I say, relax and enjoy the unreal, soul-hollowing ride!

Applejack: Unless we’re already forced to!

Sam: Humanity’s not safe well that mysteriously little Hypno-bear is on the loose.

Max: Are we part of humanity, Sam?

Sam: Not technically, but we’re in danger too.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, back with Myra.

Sam: *ahem*

Myra Stump: Ah, yes. Where were we? I think we were discussing the “Alien Love Triangle Times” and that nasty scandalous affair of yours.

Max: I’d like to talk about me.

Myra Stump: I prefer my guests’ naked egos to be just a little less naked, dear.

Max: Oh, absolutely, Myra. That’s exactly what Reese Butterfingers told me when sniping river rats at cannes! She thought I had the cool-eyed aim of a professional!

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Max: I’d like to talk about myself!

Myra Stump: ...and a project you’re working on, perhaps?

Max: You said it, Myra! I am an ongoing project — like a golden calf or a graven image I’ll only rest once people are sacrificing their first-born uno me! Also, I’d like to direct .

Myra Stump: Fame went to your head quickly, dear.

Max: It’s a short trip!

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Spike the Dragon: Does she really have to keep repeating it like a broken record😒?

Applejack: Ah’d like ta talk about me and Spike.

Myra Stump: A dragon? I thought dragons were extinct.

Spike the Dragon: That’s what they all say.

Applejack: Spike was raised by Twilight and her family. He can eat gems, breath fire, send messages to Princess Celestia, and got his wings.

Myra Stump: And what about you, dear? Do you know why you’re named “Applejack”?

Applejack: Mah mom gave me that name. And mah dad gave me this hat that ah’m wearin’ like always.

Myra Stump: So what were your parents like?

Applejack: Mah dad was on the Apple side and mah mom was on the Pear side.

Audience: *gasp*

Myra Stump: You’re mother and her family are pears? Are you really half-Pear?

Applejack: Honestly, ah didn’t know at first, Myra. After Apple Bloom was born, they passed away.

Audience: Awww...

Myra Stump: Must be tragically tough being an honest orphan like yourself.

Applejack: Yeah, but me, mah little sis, Apple Bloom, and mah big brother, Big Macintosh have our grandma, Granny Smith. Me and mah family live in a farm in Sweet Apple Acres. Ah apple buck trees and collect apples ta make anything from apples. It’s part of the Apple Family business after all. That’s the honest truth.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! Let’s talk about me!

Myra Stump: I assume you’re called Pinkie Pie because of how pink you are.

Pinkie Pie: That’s right, Myra! I’m all pink and I work in a bakery called Sugar Cube Corner in Ponyvile. My family are grey and all about rocks.

Audience: Oooo!

Myra Stump: Rocks? Why rocks? Rocks are hard and definitely not food.

Pinkie Pie: I know. My parents are usually busy. My sister Limestone is very protective of her boulder. My younger sister Marble is always the quiet one which I usually help out with. And my big sister Maud is a pro with different kinds of rock.

Myra Stump: Right. And from the looks of it, you’re completely different from your family.

Pinkie Pie: That’s because I’m a bundle of joy! Thanks to my cutie mark, I was able to make any of them laugh. I can also blow up balloons, make pastries, plan parties, aaaaaand make every pony laugh with all of my gags!

Audience:

Pinkie Pie: Making others laugh is way too much fun in a good way.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Pinkie Pie: ( She just won’t stop asking the same question, will she?) Why don’t we talk about my friend, Fluttershy!

Fluttershy: 😨...

Myra Stump: She looks a little nervous. Is she always this shy?

Pinkie Pie: She sure is but she’s very kind. Plus, she really loves animals! Including her pet bunny, Angel. She can tame any animal.

Fluttershy: And sometimes when they’re not listening or behaving, I’ll have no other choice but to use the stare on them.

Audience: Oooo!

Myra Stump: Now that’s showing anyone who’s boss.

Fluttershy: But I’m also able to communicate with my animal friends.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rarity: Miss Myra, why don’t we try to talk about myself.

Myra Stump: Such lovely eyeshadow and remarkable mane, Rarity. How do you keep yourself beautiful and radiant?

Rarity: In case you know, darling, I am one of the most professional fashion designers that can glamorously bring out the exquisite beauty of outfits and dresses to ponies in Ponyvile.

Audience: Oooo😯!

Myra Stump: My goodness! A fashion designer like you must be proud to be on my show😃.

Rarity: What can I say? I’m all about fashion and generosity.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: Okay, let’s talk about me!

Myra Stump: My, you’re a fussy one. So, Rainbow Dash, how fast can you fly?

Rainbow Dash: As fast as lightning! And I’m also loyal. When I was a filly, I was challenged and then flew so fast I did a Sonic Rainboom! Because of that, I got my cutie mark.

Audience: Oooo🤩!

Myra Stump: Incredible! Absolutely incredible!

Rainbow Dash: What’s more incredible is that it also gave my friends their cutie marks. And I even enjoy seeing the Wonderbolts.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: (Why that little💢...) *inhales and exhales* I’d like to talk about the Princess of Friendship herself. Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Myra Stump: A princess, eh? Looks like we got royalty here, folks. You’re highness, I understand that you enjoy reading books.

Twilight Sparkle: It’s true. Reading books is my hobby.

Myra Stump: And it’s quite a privilege that you’re also the head mistress of this friendship school of yours. Tell me, how did you earn these wings and become a princess?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, Myra, back when I was just a unicorn, my friends and I ventured to the Everfree Forest to find the Elements of Harmony. Testing out Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. Each of them earned the five elements and I earned the sixth.

Myra Stump: And what was the sixth element?

Twilight Sparkle: The sixth element was Magic. After I learned everything about friendship, I became an alicorn and the Princess of Friendship. And began working at the School of Friendship as head mistress which me and my friends enjoy very much.

Myra Stump: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about your alien love triangle shenanigans?

Rainbow Dash: Grr💢! This is getting really annoying!