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Published: 2010-07-25 04:59:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 111; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
A REVOLUTION was among us. They were rising greater in power, each one sharpening their wits & abilities to a point so sharp you wouldn't feel it if it went right through your heart.They were getting harder to find. They could blend into society really well, seem to be normal people like you & me. Bank tellers, fast food deliverers, gas station attendents. Before, all you had to worry about was seeing one in person, worry about looking at the mutilated flesh, the teeth, the eyes. Now? You have to worry about it getting pissed off & fucking up your lunch order. Hell, it could even be your boss.
This isn't the 1800s anymore. No, sir. They were harder to hide back then. During their cycle, they were easy to find. Like a flower in a haystack. Or a whole bowling ball. Something easy. But no, not now. It's not even a needle we're looking for anymore. They look just like the rest of the haystack. They can cover up their kills so well now, I'm willing to bet that innocent people are wanted for crimes these beasts have commited.
But there are a few that are... Considerably easier to find. Our technology is becoming more advanced, so atleast the other hay straws are a different shade of piss yellow.
What I'm trying to tell you is - they're getting worse. Considerably worse. Most people don't see it, but they're gaining power in the world. We have to stop them, or else we'll be under their complete control.
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Comments: 7
Cajek [2010-07-25 05:25:15 +0000 UTC]
I like the ominous flavor, but it's too vague to be truly scary. You need to give us some details. Good work so far, though, sam you've got some awesome metaphor work in there... post the next chapter/story when you get the chance
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bucketsofclass In reply to Cajek [2010-07-25 05:27:32 +0000 UTC]
working on it. i left it vague on purpose because i don't want to give away what's going on.
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Cajek In reply to bucketsofclass [2010-07-25 05:32:25 +0000 UTC]
that makes sense... but it's so vague that it's not scary (I want to reiterate how great the metaphors were)
I'm reminded of the "slender man" meme which I was made aware of through one of your deviations. maybe describe what the things are in a little detail
are they vampires? tell the truth
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bucketsofclass In reply to Cajek [2010-07-25 05:38:54 +0000 UTC]
they are not vampires. i would never fucking touch vampire literature, i hate them so much.
how great WERE the metaphors?
also, slenderman. wait. whut. i'll use more detail in the next super short fucking chapter, which will be from a beasts point of view. maybe a politician.
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Cajek In reply to bucketsofclass [2010-07-25 05:59:39 +0000 UTC]
the haystack metaphors are fun
can't wait to see the next entry in vampireland: the novel
politician beasts
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bucketsofclass In reply to Cajek [2010-07-25 06:02:46 +0000 UTC]
i was thinking politician beasts.
the only vampire literature i like is nightlight & the blue bloods series. which makes me a hypocrite.
i love haystack metaphors.
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Cajek In reply to bucketsofclass [2010-07-25 11:58:41 +0000 UTC]
the only good vampire is a dead one
or one that's not alive
haystacks are "da bomb"
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