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bucketsofclass — message to myspace roleplayer.
Published: 2010-07-17 05:10:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 576; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 2
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how are you, today?i saw you earlier today around town, i thought i should say hi.
jessica, right?
i heard that that was your name.
you seem like such a lovely girl.
i heard that you like to RP.
i like to RP, too.
some people were saying that you like to have RP boyfriends.
i can arrange that.
though, you may not like my character.
all of my characters.
they are sadistic.
they will hurt you.
probably rape you.
maybe even murder you.
they're a little bit like me, i guess.
oh, did you ever hear on the news about that one man? the one who strangled a few girls?
they're still looking for me.
you see, it's a shame i know where you live, considering that i have this fetish for watching a girl's life flash before her eyes.
her face turning blue.
my hands turning red from exerting all the pressure on her throat.
i'm sorry if i'm being so rude & talking so much.
you see, i am an avid roleplayer myself, & i tend to talk about things i like to do.
so, i would love to RP with you any time you like.
i suggest you do, because i am quite aware of where you are currently residing.
be careful out there.
you never know who you're going to find out on the internet...
xoxoxo.
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Comments: 53
thanks. i always appreciate my fans. they are the ones that are way at the bottom of the rape list.
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Well, at a certain point, any crime can become consensual *wink*
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I'll tell the cops I made you do it
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but but... i don't want to get you into trouble...
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don't question my methods
don't EVER question my methods
getting arrested makes me feel sexy
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oh.
then i'm going to call the police NAO.
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*cops burst in while I'm rubbing my nipples*
cop1: We've got another one.
Cop2: That damn "Roleplaying bandit" and her sexy message replies!
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me: ... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.
*leaps out window*
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cop2: curse you, "Roleplaying Bandit"!
cop1: at least she left her video camera
cop2: oh sweet
cop1: this place is a real shithole
cop2 *to me*: god damn clean out your rattraps once in a while
cop1: why do I hear meowing in the walls
cop2: seriously it's like it's looking into my soul
btw this is the best RP evar.
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i think i shattered my bones when i hit the ground.
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cop1: i guess she's not really a "bandit"
cop2: yeah bandits don't rape and strangle as much as she does
cop1: she's outside, she shattered her bones let's arrest her
cop2: no it's a trap
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me: ... *twitches, almost reduced to jelly*
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cop1: I can see her seventeen stories down she's raped everything in a forty mile radius let's arrest her
cop2: she raped my grandma's original characters
cop1: my dog needs a therapist
cop2: she made me feel like a cheap whore why doesn't she call
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he surely is our savior.
btw, i'm sam.
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i'm chuck : )
not that christ the other one
god of nightmares
tentacles on his face
will rise when the stars are right
that one
praise the lord
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wait, Cthulhu's real name is Christ?
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wait, is christ the one who is not to be named
wears yellow
monstrous king from beyond yoggoth
is that christ
blessed be his name amen
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what the shit oh my god there are too many gods.
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wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
is christ the one that runs into my room shrieking every single morning since I was born
always screams "you're gonna die today bitch"
looks like my mom but with black facepaint
may he reign forever in heaven amen hallelujia son father holy ghost amen
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i think that's me, actually.
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(LOL) 
they called me crazy
they said i was mad
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you are my child, therefore you are the the son of god.
AWESOME.
that deserves a promotion.
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i love you mommy
can I move into the house
my bungalo is infested with hissing cockroaches
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only if you promise to stop feeding seymour.
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i love you mommy jesus
seymour steals the food you push through the slot I can't stop him
(I have this whole thing written down if you want a copy of it 
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he's a plant, he's not fully evolved to full seymour yet, damn it.
(THAT'S AWESOME. wait, lol, we're still talking on the deviation, aren't we? SHIT.)
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seymour keeps saying he needs to feed mommy
his eyes are coming in wrong
you're an evil child-molesting botanical rapist worshipped by 1.5 billion humans mommy
(YES! Now EVERYONE who comes to see your crazy poem can see how awesome and hilarious we are!)
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i thought it was only 1 billion. what the shit. did the internet spread my fame again?
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it was the video of you pretending to be a jedi
nobody reads my blog about your evil ways
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oh, i'm sorry, son.
i'll read your blogs.
as a mother, it is my duty.
lol.
duty.
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oh, mommy! pffft! you're so silly!
you're also the vile princess of lies
seymour keeps licking my ear and asking if I think sex with plants is weird
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that's my boy.
tell him that sex with plants is incredibly immoral, which is why you must do it now.
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*crying*
seymour (sounds like danny devito): yeah, yeah, now dance around a little
*crying and shimmying, slowly taking off my pajamas*
seymour: that's the stuff (gets out his iphone 4)
*my pajamas on the floor, and my nubile young body standing before him*
seymour: this is so hawt
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SEYMOUR, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, AN IPHONE4?
YOU COULD DO BETTER.
wait, this whole time i named the plant seymour when it's fucking name was supposed to be Audrey II.
god damn, i am a failure.
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audrey II (sounds like prince charles): pardon me, madame, I seem to have bought this iphone before the recall! oh ho ho ho! but while you are here, would you mind rubbing my stem while I fuck around with this young chiiiiilllldd?
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no, audrey II, not until i give my number to chuck
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uno momento on phone numberos por favor!
(That's really sweet, sam! but I wouldn't call cuz I don't pay for my phone charges)
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i was kidding
i don't just whore out my number like that so suddenly.
besides, i'm the queen of fucking darkness & you're my son, i can just contact you telepathically.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, i know what you're thinking RIGHT NOW.
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you know I'm thinking about releasing WILD PLANT SECKS PARTY 4
(I'm surprised you like my gallery! we have such different stuff!)
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OMG @____@ sounds amazing.
also, i love pizel type art. i just... can't do it.
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my stories are so much better, if I may be so bold?
for some serious villainy I recommend [link] or [link]
for some laughs I recommend [link]
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these stories are awesome.
they'll be even awesomer after i read them.
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in the meantime, what stories YOU got?
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i don't have stories 
wait...
maybe i do have one.
A REALLY SHORT one.
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short stories are fine! (my stories are short too, in case you were wondering
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