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CalamaritheSquid — Signs of Affection
Published: 2010-12-05 03:26:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 1519; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 6
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"I've been thinking.""Hmm?"
"I mean, um…"
"Yes?"
"How long've we been dating?"
"It's been like…a month…"
"One month and twelve days."
"Right, yeah. That's a while."
"Is it?"
"Yeah."
"Um."
"Hmm?"
"So I've been thinking."
"About?"
"About…you know…us…and…things…"
"What about us and things?"
"The thing is…"
"I mean…when are…"
"When are…?"
"Don't you want to kiss me?"
"Kiss you?"
"I mean, usually people who…uh…"
"I mean, usually there's kissing and…things…"
"Do you want to kiss me?"
"Well, yeah."
"I mean."
"Don't you?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I guess I haven't really thought about it."
"But…"
"Don't you like me?"
"Of course I like you. I'm dating you, aren't I?"
"But you don't want to kiss me?"
"It's not that I don't want to. I just…"
"I guess I…"
"What?"
"I guess I just never thought about it."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. It just didn't seem like something worth thinking about."
"But…"
"But I mean…you…"
"You like me, don't you?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"And we're alone, aren't we? And you like me?"
"Yes."
"Then why—" "I mean—"
"Sorry, you can go first."
"No, no, that's okay. You go ahead."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine."
"Um."
"I mean, I really…like you. A lot. A ton. A bushel. Whatever."
"When you're around, the world is a brighter, better, happier place, and I'm just…"
"I mean, I'm smiling all the time, so…"
"I do like you."
"I might…"
"I might even say I love you, I suppose."
"Um."
"Yeah. Um."
"Thank you…but…"
"But?"
"You suppose?"
"Um."
"That sounds awfully unsure."
"Well, I wouldn't really know, would I?"
"I mean, there aren't…"
"…standards…"
"…or anything."
"Um."
"It's not as though there's someone standing by with a yardstick saying, 'Oh, yep, that's love,' or 'Oh, no, not love, just adoration,' or something…"
"What?"
"Um."
"Wouldn't you know? About the, uh…love…thing…"
"Do you know?"
"I want to kiss you."
"What does that have to do with it?"
"That's what people do. When they like each other. They kiss."
"Why?"
"Because that's what they do! Look, just…fine. Just…just forget it."
"But, I mean, it's a sign of affection, right?"
"What?"
"Kissing. It's a sign of affection. It's my way to say, 'Hey, I think you're pretty special, and I like you a lot for it.'"
"I guess. I mean, yeah, it is."
"But there are other ways of showing you care, right? I mean, I could cook you dinner or something."
"My mom cooks me dinner."
"Or I could hug you. Or we could go somewhere together and do something cool. Like…I don't know. We could go watch the fireworks display on Saturday. That would be pretty awesome."
"That's what friends do."
"But we're friends, aren't we?"
"We're dating!"
"Can't we be friends who are dating?"
"Look, you…you don't…you can't date your friends."
"Why not?"
"You just don't!"
"Is that…"
"Is that all I am to you?"
"What?"
"A…a friend?"
"No, of course not. You're so much more than that. I mean…"
"You're…"
"I'm what? Your friend?"
"You're…probably the most important person in the world to me."
"Then why won't you kiss me?"
"I don't see why it's necessary."
"Why it's necessary?"
"I mean, there are other ways to show affection."
"You just…"
"Just never mind. I don't care. Forget I even brought it up."
"I can try."
"What?"
"I could try kissing you."
"As an…"
"Um, as an experiment or…something."
"Well, don't you sound eager."
"I just…"
"I can try."
"Fine."
"Don't give me that look."
"I'm not giving you any look."
"Yes, you are. You're totally giving me a look."
"I'm not giving you a look at all."
"Okay, well, maybe that's the problem then. You have to…you know…"
"What?"
"Just close your eyes, okay?"
"Okay."
"Um."
"You didn't like it."
"No, it's not…um…"
"Did you like it?"
"Of course."
"Of course I did."
"Oh."
"Um."
"Okay."
"Didn't you?"
"It's probably just 'cause it's your first time."
"Maybe."
"It'll be better the second time."
"The second time?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, there'll be a second time."
"Won't there?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, I guess."
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Comments: 40
This is... wow. So simple and yet so beautiful. Truly inspirational.
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This is really adorable. I have a few asexual friends, tried dating one... I'm more open minded for it I guess. I can relate and understand both sides. Aww this is sweet <3
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Aw, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!
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GAH. Totally hit home for me.
I like what you did with the spacing, using it to show pauses in the conversation! Very clever.
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Aw, I'm glad you like it. And I'm glad the spacing works. I got it published in a campus lit magazine, and they removed all the spacing, which was kind of sad...
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Aww, that's too bad! It seems like it would still be a nice piece even without the spacing, but would make more sense and be more effective with the spacing left in.
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This is wonderful and fantastic and my more adjectives that I don't really feel like saying right now!
It also basicallsums up a conversation I had with my (now) ex-boyfriend almost perfectly.
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Aw, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I'm surprised by how many people have said that this reminded them of a real conversation. I guess this sort of thing happens much more than it should...
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This sounds like what me and my sexual boyfriend go through sometimes, just not on the topic of signs of affection D: Though i do sometimes like affection (like kissing) sometimes, i don't all the time. I havent told my boyfriend yet, for fear of this kind of reaction *nervous laugh* it is stressful sometimes because he's VERY sexual, and wants to go farther than kissing all the way to sex, but he's trying to understand Asexuality. So we're good for now
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Thanks for reading!
Yeah, I can understand that being really tough. Still, conversation is the best way to do it, in my experience. I hope it works out for you!
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Oh! I hurt for both of these characters, I really do. Being an ace, I'm always worried that my sexual boyfriend wants more physical affection and I don't know how exactly to compromise, so I feel that tension shining through really well here.
Lovely piece, I adored the beat spaces.
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Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.
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This reminds me of conversations I had with my ex about feelings instead of kissing. Soulful words sound so alien coming out of my mouth (unless they are pre-written). It's so much easier to express yourself with symbols (such as facial expressions, poetry, and showing affection). Am I right in guessing the second speaker was female? I loved this concept (what's being discussed, the pauses between speech, and the personality that emanates from the text).
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Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I can totally agree with you on the soulful words. It's so much easier to write them than say them.
I'm not actually sure whether the second speaker is female. In my first draft of the story (which was an actual story, with narration and everything), the second speaker was female, but now I change my mind depending on the day.
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This struck me on a very personal level. Very good, it's great how you managed to show so much using only dialogue, spacing, and different fonts.
But yeah. Like whoah.
This hit me differently than most people reading this. Let's just say I relate more to the guy with black font (or big font). It's good that you (maybe unintentionally) showed the emotion from the other side. I'm used to reading a lot of asexual people expressing their frustration with us weird sexuals...and how we should be happy with sonnets and shit...forgot what I was going to say... *goes into corner*
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Thanks so much for reading!
I'm really glad that you were able to relate to black-font; I was wondering how that would come across, 'cause in all the feedback I've gotten so far, everyone has said he/she relates more to purple-font (regardless of his/her sexuality, which I thought was really interesting). I was trying to convey the frustration and awkwardness on both sides ('cause it's going to be awkward on both sides unless there's a LOT of communication going on, and even then it can be pretty horrifically awkward), so I'm glad it worked.
And no corners. Corners are a pretty sad and lonely place to hang out in, unless someone's there with you.
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It's a credit to how good the work is that I was easily able to feel so much about black-font. It's also probably because I'm a sexual dating an asexual, so I remember having conversations like this, and feeling hurt that he didn't want to kiss me. You conveyed that side very well, enough to get me all choked up.
Things are happy now, after many conversations and DA asexy groups helping me understand. <3
^_^I have my asexy boyfriend in my corner, who is exactly who I ran to after reading this XD <3
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Aw, I'm glad it worked, but sorry for choking up. But conversations are excellent, and I'm glad you've found other people to talk to!
And that sounds like an excellent corner indeed.
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I love how you used the big spaces to express the long pauses between speech. The fonts were good picks; they weren't too different that they made to people seem to unrelated in some way. You took speech and translated them into writing words so nicely, without losing any of the tone behind them. +Fav
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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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It's almost like they're talking in an instant messaging program... sort of? <_<; I think because of the second font. I really like this. It's how I feel exactly a lot of the time (the asexual part, I mean). ._. Like, can't I just write a sonnet in your honor or something?
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Thanks for reading!
And sonnets are the greatest, for the record. I've never received one in my honor, but I have received some truly excellent poetry.
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Aww, but poetry is poetry! XDD I'd be happy with a haiku, but fortune hasn't looked in my favor.
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Asexy or not
You are still awesome and you
Deserve a haiku
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Greatest day of my life. <333333 Thank yooooou.
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XD If my romantic partner, when I get one, were to write me a sonnet, it would be the sweetest thing ever! Sorry, had to comment. That was too cute!
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Thanks. XD I agree. <3 I'm a real sucker for poetry.
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Normally, I don't read literature I find in my inbox, but something told me to click.
I'll be quite honest, this style of writing doesn't sit well with me--I think the excessive spacing is useless. But I must digress, it fit very well with this 'story'--it made me think of the gaps that would be found in normal conversation, which the characters are obviously having. Also, the 'story' is very relate-able, though I haven't been in this situation speech wise, and reminds me of some of the thoughts that go through my head when faced with having to show affection (being a 'gray area' asexual. But this is irrelevant to the comment at hand, so I digress once more.)
You say that the second speaker's text is purple in the original--this difference in font-color rather than the difference in font-type that you have here may be more effective. I would like to see it.
Overall, I enjoyed the read.
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Thanks for the feedback!
I have kind of mixed thoughts about the spacing, mostly because it's not quite where I want it to be yet. I really like the way pauses in conversation are demarcated in scripts ("beat" vs. "pause" vs. "silence," etc.), so I was trying to replicate that without narration, which...sort of worked. Oh well. I'll keep trying to tweak it.
Unfortunately, my colored copy is indisposed at the moment. (My writing community's site, where it's posted, got a bug in it that randomly inserted gibberish characters into the text, which makes a story that's all dialogue fairly difficult to read.) Hopefully the bug will be worked out within the next few days...
Anyway, thanks so much for reading and the feedback!
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I liked the way you wrote this, and the creative spacing. It felt very poetic.
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Thank you! It was a different style for me, and I'm glad it worked well.
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Oh, I liked this very much. You made the conversation flow ohsonaturally, it was really fun to read. And the characters were great, too. They really had personalities. And the spacing was interesting, too; clever.
All in all, awesome, love. xox
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Thanks so much for reading!
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It simply deserved to be read. xox
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Thank you~
Ilikeitbetterwithcolors,though.
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