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Description
Methinks this would have been a good speedpaint but I ... didn't realize it until I was shading, //sob. [I shaded before colouring, btw.]

Troutpaw is an asshole. Don't get me wrong. He's the grade A+ equivalent of it. He's the top dog in the douche class. He can make kits cry. He'd feel bad, yeah, but more so in the way that "oh my god I'll get caught if they keep crying, gotta make them stop" sort of deal. He's selfish, yeah, but he does put his Clan first. He'll always put his Clan first, especially if it correlates with what he wants. He's always been headstrong, and had used his dad's role in the Clan as medicine cat as a default "wait 'til my father hears about this" sort of deal. His dad would never, ever, use his son's hatred towards cats and mistreat them when he had to heal them, never. He's kind of full of himself because the former deputy was his mentor just before he died [truthfully, it was to curb his meaner tendencies, though, so it wasn't truly something to be proud of. In fact, he should be glad he got free of a strict mentor.] He's snapping out because he wants to be noticed, sure, but also because he was born a prick.

But. He's filled with such hopelessness - such emptiness inside of him - he's restless and tired all at once and he can't figure out why. He feels as though he should be doing something but he can't because he doesn't know what. He's causing trouble 90% of the time and the one time that he "accidentally" set loose the live fish in the cages was a final drawing period for him. He was cast out of the camp to think about what he had done - that when he would get his act together he could come back. He leaves for like, two days. He's angry, furious with himself and at the world. He doesn't understand why he feels so wrong with what he's doing. He screams, yeah, he does, and it's loud and it's nothing pretty but it makes him feel better. But he's also alone. His dad retired and his mom is sick most of the time and half his siblings are dead or too busy with their apprenticeships to notice him. He's tired. He's tired of feeling this way.

He hopes he could get some sleep at night, that make his restlessness can finally sleep, too. Cats usually count stars, right? So he looks up and - by the divine fur of the Dark Forest, he is overwhelmed. At first he doesn't feel anything, but then - oh. Oh. Now, TideClan was the last to fall from StarClan's grace, so their story is whispered in hushed, hopeful tones. Sure, they believe and follow the Dark Forest now but it's not the same. There's a sense of awe to look up at the stars and realize, 'I'm smaller than they are' and to realize 'we're the same'. He's not exactly peaceful, but it's a start, and he thinks he knows what he wants, now. Maybe he's been on the wrong path the entire time.

Tl;dr: Troutpaw might get a redemption arc for all the shit he's done when/if he becomes the medicine cat apprentice.

References:
samsung-wallpapers.com/uploads…
media.gettyimages.com/photos/h…
www.warrenphotographic.co.uk/p…

Description
Methinks this would have been a good speedpaint but I ... didn't realize it until I was shading, //sob. [I shaded before colouring, btw.]

Troutpaw is an asshole. Don't get me wrong. He's the grade A+ equivalent of it. He's the top dog in the douche class. He can make kits cry. He'd feel bad, yeah, but more so in the way that "oh my god I'll get caught if they keep crying, gotta make them stop" sort of deal. He's selfish, yeah, but he does put his Clan first. He'll always put his Clan first, especially if it correlates with what he wants. He's always been headstrong, and had used his dad's role in the Clan as medicine cat as a default "wait 'til my father hears about this" sort of deal. His dad would never, ever, use his son's hatred towards cats and mistreat them when he had to heal them, never. He's kind of full of himself because the former deputy was his mentor just before he died [truthfully, it was to curb his meaner tendencies, though, so it wasn't truly something to be proud of. In fact, he should be glad he got free of a strict mentor.] He's snapping out because he wants to be noticed, sure, but also because he was born a prick.

But. He's filled with such hopelessness - such emptiness inside of him - he's restless and tired all at once and he can't figure out why. He feels as though he should be doing something but he can't because he doesn't know what. He's causing trouble 90% of the time and the one time that he "accidentally" set loose the live fish in the cages was a final drawing period for him. He was cast out of the camp to think about what he had done - that when he would get his act together he could come back. He leaves for like, two days. He's angry, furious with himself and at the world. He doesn't understand why he feels so wrong with what he's doing. He screams, yeah, he does, and it's loud and it's nothing pretty but it makes him feel better. But he's also alone. His dad retired and his mom is sick most of the time and half his siblings are dead or too busy with their apprenticeships to notice him. He's tired. He's tired of feeling this way.

He hopes he could get some sleep at night, that make his restlessness can finally sleep, too. Cats usually count stars, right? So he looks up and - by the divine fur of the Dark Forest, he is overwhelmed. At first he doesn't feel anything, but then - oh. Oh. Now, TideClan was the last to fall from StarClan's grace, so their story is whispered in hushed, hopeful tones. Sure, they believe and follow the Dark Forest now but it's not the same. There's a sense of awe to look up at the stars and realize, 'I'm smaller than they are' and to realize 'we're the same'. He's not exactly peaceful, but it's a start, and he thinks he knows what he wants, now. Maybe he's been on the wrong path the entire time.

Tl;dr: Troutpaw might get a redemption arc for all the shit he's done when/if he becomes the medicine cat apprentice.

References:
samsung-wallpapers.com/uploads…
media.gettyimages.com/photos/h…
www.warrenphotographic.co.uk/p…