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canticum — Ask
Published: 2008-01-25 06:06:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 201; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description Ask me what I used to know
And I will not remember
Ask me what I used to see
And I cannot recall
Ask me if I know to fly
And watch me as I fall

Ask me for my memory;
Nothing returns to haunt
Ask me for the old passkey
And I remember not
Ask me for whatever you wish
But I will stand in shame
The only thing that I still know
Remains without a name
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canticum - The night is young
Comments: 20

Alien--Kitty [2008-01-26 04:22:04 +0000 UTC]

...

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canticum In reply to Alien--Kitty [2008-01-26 04:37:11 +0000 UTC]

what?

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Alien--Kitty In reply to canticum [2008-01-26 04:41:11 +0000 UTC]

sigh....

nothing

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canticum In reply to Alien--Kitty [2008-01-26 04:48:32 +0000 UTC]


it's not, is it.. tells? please?

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Alien--Kitty In reply to canticum [2008-01-26 05:55:33 +0000 UTC]



is sad poem

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canticum In reply to Alien--Kitty [2008-01-26 21:27:22 +0000 UTC]

Yah, I guess...

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OlafBrouwer [2008-01-25 18:27:36 +0000 UTC]

This is really good, that's what I reckon. I'm not a poem-expert, but I like it, especially the ending. However, these lines: 'Ask me for my memory |Nothing returns to haunt|Ask me for the old passkey|And I remember not' , they sound a bit odd if I read them out loud. I don't know why actually, maybe it's the word 'haunt' that doesn't rhyme to well with not? You could do something with the word 'taunt' (Not sure if it's pronunciation is almost the same as 'haunt', though), or just leave it as it is: a very nice poem indeed.

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canticum In reply to OlafBrouwer [2008-01-26 04:41:12 +0000 UTC]

Glad you enjoyed reading it!
yah, those lines are not quite rhymed perfectly, but that's just the way it popped into my head... I don't like changing things that darastically, and I can't see how taunt would fit in. I'll just say that it's supposed to introduce an element of discord into the piece as a whole to match with the theme^^
Thanks for the imput anyway, though

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n-g-e [2008-01-25 14:08:13 +0000 UTC]

Pretty good stuff. I really enjoyed this one

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Tar1988 In reply to n-g-e [2008-01-30 17:49:00 +0000 UTC]

I second that statement !

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canticum In reply to n-g-e [2008-01-26 04:41:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! Glad you liked it.

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626elemental [2008-01-25 06:10:57 +0000 UTC]

Worried?

You'll do just fine. You're a genius
DON'T SMACK ME!

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canticum In reply to 626elemental [2008-01-26 04:42:05 +0000 UTC]


Why does everyone call me that?

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626elemental In reply to canticum [2008-01-26 05:19:35 +0000 UTC]



because you are, silly!

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canticum In reply to 626elemental [2008-01-26 21:26:58 +0000 UTC]

I'm also blond, and nobody calls me that.

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626elemental In reply to canticum [2008-01-26 23:43:04 +0000 UTC]

Thats because you're only blond on top of your skull, not inside it ^.^

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canticum In reply to 626elemental [2008-01-27 06:00:12 +0000 UTC]

okay.. fine.

I'm also ummm.... creative.. and stuff like that.. but nobody calls me that, either.

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626elemental In reply to canticum [2008-01-27 19:02:55 +0000 UTC]

?

I've heard people call you creative before.

You just refuse to listen to compliments

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canticum In reply to 626elemental [2008-01-28 04:55:05 +0000 UTC]


I don't refuse to listen to compliments. However, I am Not a genius. I don't care if you think I am; and it doesn't matter anyway, because I don't want to be called that or thought of as a genius.
I wish people would just leave me alone about it...

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626elemental In reply to canticum [2008-01-28 05:10:46 +0000 UTC]

ok, sorry. peace

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