HOME | DD
CAPTAIN-CAPSLOCK-PHD β Horrible Things Part 1
by-nc-nd
Published: 2014-05-25 11:21:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 1876; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description
Holy shit, what a fucked up guy. So glad I got away from that asshole.Since this moment the word "visionary" leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Note: When I was thirteen, I wrote a 90 page novel using the medieval knights vs monsters stories as a metaphor for historical genocidal persecution.
The metaphor wasn't subtle at all, the characters were 2-dimensional, and while it was a nice try for a thirteen-year-old, it is nothing to be proud of.
I am in no way visionary for writing that book. In fact, I don't even have the book anymore. It's just not important to me.
Later, at fourteen or fifteen, I wrote another one of about 350 pages about a society that somehow imprisons a living god and tries to force it into being their war weapon. It refuses, so they give it worshipers that, by it's nature, must protect. They use the worshippers as blackmail (torturing/killing them) to force it into war. I'm not sure what kind of metaphor I was going with there, and over time that book was lost, too.
From fifteen to seventeen I had an ongoing comedy comic book series, fifteen+ pages each with about fifty issues, about the students at the bizarre Rottweiler Art University (I have no fucking idea why I chose that name) where all the girls "have something wrong with them" (missing limbs, metal plates in their heads, etc.), Satan was one of the professors, and the hangout spot was a nasty-ass fast food joint called The Meat Bucket. It basically starred the same cast as Serious Engineering but with a lot more humor and less, you know, less mafia-owned hospital stuff.
Those got stolen by my ex. Oh well.
I should probably remake that comic, actually.
I am NOT a visionary. Not at all. Hell, I don't even think I'm that GOOD. Everything I just mentioned is stupid kid-stuff. I was a dumb little pretentious douche who thought I was being super awesome for writing things (everyone hated me for it but fuck them I was pretentious).
The point is that A) I outgrew this pretentious phase in college and B) I am not exactly proud of what I consider typical activities for adolescents interesting in writing, and C) I DO NOT BRAG ABOUT THESE THINGS AND CLAIM THAT I AM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE FOR DOING THEM.
Look, I don't expect anyone to see me as a role model and follow my example by being humble (that would be the opposite of humble). I'm just trying to show why this particular situation made me so furious.
Related content
Comments: 57
Please remake the comic series. That'd be awesome.
π: 0 β©: 1
Okay!
I'll be doing one every time I can think up stupid shit people have said in my presence.
I've already done this a few time but didn't title it as such.
π: 0 β©: 0
Well... *I* think you're amazing.
and I think it's somewhat fair (sorry) to call someone who has a vision "visionary." I don't think that non-traditional coloring of a coloring book necessarily counts, but...
I think SE has a vision. (I'll avoid the word visionary, heehee.)
It's not your job to evaluate the worth of your own works. (Good thing too, because you're the worst-suited to the job.) It's only your job to make them.
And *I* think they're fantastic.
π: 0 β©: 1
Saying "Jesus Christ was a fucked up asshole" is assuming he actually existed really. xD The stories were likely a mixture of a variety of different people living around the time anyway. *shrugs*
That face you drew at the end, awesome though. xD That would have been my face too.
I know the feelings of stories like that too though. I forget how old I was, but I wrote this one with a group of kids with dragons that they were training... I don't remember what exactly it was for or why they even had dragons, but the premise itself was they lived in a would where religion was banned and people were like.. burning bibles in the streets and the main characters were trying to get the ban lifted.. Violently...Β
Yeah, I'm glad I didn't keep that. xD
π: 0 β©: 1
That's not a bad story for a kid, though.
See, it's all about progress.
π: 0 β©: 1
The random dragons were pretty random though. xD
π: 0 β©: 0
He must have been in special needs class and they did it to make him feel good and it backfired
π: 0 β©: 1
Pffff hahahahahahahaha
π: 0 β©: 1
Yeah, I went to those schools that believed in giving every one deserves a trophy...pissed me the hell off
π: 0 β©: 0
Abuse aside, what he said here is less horrible and more lame and pathetic.
Assuming his claim is true and not a delusion I'm pretty sure the "Earth" he colored on her face was just a bunch of geographicaly wrong green spots on a blue ground and the galaxy just a purple and blue swirl with yellow spots a stars. I also imagine that they hung it out because they though one of the kids from sunday school did it.
Your story with the imprisoned god sounds interesting you should definitly rewrite it.
π: 0 β©: 1
I really wonder how long his ego had been there. I wonder if he was that self-obsessed ad a kid, and if so, I imagine he wasn't exactly popular.
π: 0 β©: 0
A fifteen year old guy playing with a coloring book? Well, that alone is impressive ; )
π: 0 β©: 1
I wonder if he needed help using the crayons without shoving them up his nose.
Did you know that when Salvador Dali was 15 he had his first public exhibition (Municipal Theater in Figueres, 1919)? Now HE was a visionary.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yup, at least Dali was excused of his enormous ego.
π: 0 β©: 1
He had a huge ego, too?
Well, I guess that tends to develop if you're surrounded by people from your adolescence onward telling you you're hot shit.
π: 0 β©: 1
Well, yeah. Actually lots of great artists were egomaniacs. Probably they were just somewhat aware of their worth, their greatness.
Unfortunately to Zak, not all egomaniacs are great artists :<
π: 0 β©: 0
That story about imprisoning a god...oh my god, I would read the FUCK outta that...
π: 0 β©: 1
I should probably rewrite it into a one-shot comic.
It really wasn't as impressive as I made it sound. Too much Star Trek TNG influence (not a fanfiction, though) and the plot points were based more on coincidence than actual planning.
I should probably remake it and do it better.
π: 0 β©: 1
It'd make a pretty decent sci-fi/fantasy like story, I wanna help, but I don't trust myself to be able to contribute
π: 0 β©: 1
Jeez, you have such terrible confidence. It's really uncalled for, dude.
π: 0 β©: 1
I'm sorry :/
π: 0 β©: 1
YOU DID IT AGAIN, YOU SILLY BUTT!!!
It's okay, you are loved.
π: 0 β©: 1
That kinda hurt me a bit to read... I mean I give the guy a little slack because he is schizophrenic, but an ego that big should be taken down a bit.
π: 0 β©: 1
I also wouldn't mind so much if he bothered taking his meds and stopped trying to enslave people and call them "little fucker" and "stupid shithead" while doing so, then demanding that we thank him daily for the abuse.
Bastard.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yea.. he's an ass.
π: 0 β©: 0
I'm sorry that this guy is Canadian.Β Really sorry.
π: 0 β©: 1
It's not really Canada's fault in this case. Insane people exist everywhere.
π: 0 β©: 1
Well, I can't help but feel somewhat responsible.
π: 0 β©: 1
Oh man, you are so CANADIAN!
π: 0 β©: 1
I ne'er denied it.
π: 0 β©: 0
I wonder why it's annoying to see someone have a large ego, especially when one seems to be undeserving.
π: 0 β©: 1
The annoyance comes when people use their big egos to tell everyone that they are better than them, then try to enforce it.
In Zak's case I was homeless when he took me in and I was desperate for shelter (especially since it was one of the worst winters Canada had seen in years). I THOUGHT he was taking me in out of charity, but actually all he wanted was a slave to rule over.
I had to take care of all his shopping, clean the entire house (including washing the walls) every week until all exposed skin developed painful blisters (seen here: romanjones.deviantart.com/art/β¦ ), all the while he calls me "Little Fucker" and "Stupid Shithead". If my blisters popped and I cried out in pain, he said "suck it up, princess" and went back to demanding that we have sex because he basically "owns me". When I finally had a way to escape (Thank you, Vik!) he slapped me with a bill of $1,070 in "damages". I grabbed my things, ran away at 1AM, and walked ten kilometers to the nearest bus station, constantly terrified of seeing him chase after me in his car.
So... yeah. After all that, a huge ego causes a lot of problems when someone enslaves you.
π: 0 β©: 1
Oh, that's terrible. I'm sorry for you (but it's great that you escaped! Life always brings happiness eventually ^.^), and I agree he was an a-hole, who will eventually get what's coming.
But I wondered what the underlying causes--on the most basic level--are for annoyance, hatred, and sorrow when someone has a huge ego. I think it would be something like differing opinions on someone's worth, and that became hopelessness or powerlessness or just stress at always trying to keep away the other person's dictatorial personality.
π: 0 β©: 0
....Okay, and WHAT is so "visionary" about a planet and a galaxy being colored over Mary & Jesus' heads, exactly? Β Let's go ahead and give this guy the benefit of the doubt that he IS in fact some kind of respectable artist. Β What did he actually DO? Β What is he SAYING with this piece?
(Yeah, this is screaming "I'M A DOUCHE BAG", but I just like speculating here. 
π: 0 β©: 1
For the record, this was probably the most insane person I have ever met.
And I've lived with a pathological liar, a female pedophile, a morbidly obese woman who had so many lovers I couldn't believe it, and someone so violently fucked up I lived with him for three years and can't tell you anything for certain about him except that he was Caucasian (and even that he lied about).
Though Zak WAS schizophrenic, so I guess that makes sense and I shouldn't judge so harshly.
Other things that Zak said:
- he was a high-level pagan witch who could control the weather
- he was the incarnation of Odin, thus protecting the world from Loki's apocalypse
- he was the antichrist
- he had been abducted by aliens multiple times and forced his previous roommates to stay up all night to keep the aliens away
- he could speak to God, the Goddess, and the Loch Ness Monster telepathically
- he spoke to George W. Bush on his "finger phone" and HE was the reason the war ended (hint: it's still going on)
- he is from Iceland (he has never left Canada)
- that LGBT people are going to revolt and "take over the world" (whatever, Brain. I think we're too busy with, you know, jobs and stuff for world takeover)
- that his son was the second coming (his son was legally taken away from him after he dropped him in a bathtub. Good for the kid, I say)
π: 0 β©: 1
That is... ridiculous. I can't even think of a good word for it. So I will go with ridiculous for now. *face-palm*
π: 0 β©: 1
I met him because he, like me, is a transman. A really, really good at passing transman.
I read an article last year that said it is disturbingly common for transpeople (transmen in particular for some bizarre reason) to have a secondary (sometimes more) neurological disorders paired with Gender Identity Disorder. It has to do with the brain's development in utero. I'm not a neurologist so I can't explain exactly why, but the author talked about nerve development .
Asperger's (like what I have) is the most common (42% more likely than average for transmen). Schizophrenia is just another neurological disorder and, unlike autism spectrum, it's much more difficult to diagnose, trace, treat, and.. fuck it's just a difficult fucking disorder that I don't pretend to understand.
Science, man. It's crazy.
π: 0 β©: 1
Science is pretty crazy. As far as I know... I don't think I have any neurological disorders. I think I have enough problems with this like excema and being really shy in public and hating crowds in general (doesn't even have anything to do with being trans, I always felt similar to claustrophobic around people even knowing it's not the same thing).
π: 0 β©: 0
The fact that he was using a colouring book at fifteen says something much different.
π: 0 β©: 1
Oh god yes, haha.
π: 0 β©: 0
You got that right, Homer.
π: 0 β©: 0
Yeah, I bet they hung the thing right next to the kindergarten class' Easter egg finger paintings.
π: 0 β©: 1
I read your comment out loud to Vik, and he wondered if they had a fridge to put it on:
"A fridge of SHAME."
π: 0 β©: 1
Pff sooner or later he'll get the truth punched in his face. Great ego doesn't get you anywhere eventually. But still, ugh people.
For some reason this reminds me of when I was a little kid, they made us draw Adam and Eve stuff at school, and I may have been the only person that drew them nacked. My teacher made a copy of my drawing and hung it on the wall for some weeks- and I didn't know why. It was later when I realized it must have been adorable to see a tiny kid draw boobs without much thought to it. 
Especially because it wasn't a masterpiece at all. I think the only boobs I saw at this age was my fat mom's. If I remember right, I drew a normal-weight Eve with long pendulous tits.
I apologize for nightmares that will get you tonight.
π: 0 β©: 1
The only reason he doesn't have a punch in the face is because he lives in Canada - a nation of passive-aggressive pussies who would rather turn their backs on their responsibilities than deal with it.
Oh, I'm sorry Canadians, did I just make a valid observation after living in your country for more than a year in three provinces? Shut up and go back to pretending nothing's wrong.
I hate Canada. Ain't takin' it back.
Anyway, that story is freaking adorable. Draw what you know, huh?
π: 0 β©: 1
Okay I take it back. Β
My rage-boners don't last very long before logic takes over.
π: 0 β©: 0
| Next =>