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Published: 2012-05-18 00:56:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 1114; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Jessica and Amabel were born into a small community town of old way values and sleepy tradition. They grew up together as neighbors and became best friends as quickly as a grasshopper can spring. Every day they could be seen together, having fun and being free spirited just like little girls are supposed to be. As they grew up, they developed their own interests, but they never grew apart. Amabel was good at school and loved to read. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't have a book in her lap and her nose planted firmly in it. Amabel also had a slight stigmatism in her left eye, which required her to wear glasses when she needed to read. She wasn't at all athletic, and others would tease her about being a nerd. But Jessica was always there to defend her. Jessica was athletic. She did track and was a cheerleader. Jessica was very popular among the other kids. She was also very good at resisting peer pressure, and as such never got into drinking or drugs or partying in general. She instead chose to spend her time with Amabel.Despite their differences, the two friends shared a lot in common. They both loved animals very much, they both enjoyed going for walks down to the nearby river. Both girls enjoyed the same popular music as every other kid their age. But the one thing that really kept them together, was the fact that they were both gay. Their only problem was the community; they lived in a community that was outlandishly against people of homosexual tendencies. There was an incidence once where two men had come to town on a cross country trip. At first glance, they appeared to be two normal men. But when it had become apparent that the two men were gay and partners, the town ran them out. One of the men was nearly beaten to death, and the cops only turned a blind eye. The community wanted to make it clear what was allowed in their town; and no one would be tolerated. Knowing this put a lot of pressure on the two girls, and over time made them rather distant from the rest of their friends.
When Jessica first revealed her feelings about her attraction to other girls, Amabel, who had not yet decided about her own feelings, reacted with fear and confusion.
"Jessica what are you saying?" Amabel was in a panic, but she kept her voice down.
"I'm saying boys don't interest me." Jessica said. Her voice was also hushed, despite knowing that her parents had gone out for the evening.
"But…but you know the community thinks it's wrong." Amabel said.
"I don't care about the community."
"But you could get seriously hurt." Amabel had tears in her eyes at this point.
"I don't care." Jessica said again, "I just want to be myself. Around my friends" She hesitated, "Around you."
"Jessica…what are you…" Amabel was in shock.
"I like you Amabel." Jessica couldn't look her friend in the eye. She wasn't surprised when Amabel left the room, but what she didn't know was that Amabel left more out of fear than of disgust.
They didn't speak to each other for two weeks after that night. But one day Jessica got a note from Amabel telling her to meet her down by the river. Jessica didn't want to go, still feeling hurt over Amabel's reaction, but she decided to confront her best friend about how much she had hurt her. When Jessica got to the spot by the river, though, all of her anger melted away. She couldn't stay mad at Amabel. Amabel caught sight of Jessica and bolted over to her, grabbing her in a big hug, bawling her eyes out.
"Amabel what's wrong?" Jessica asked.
"I'm sorry…. You must hate me." Amabel sobbed.
"I don't hate you…" Jessica said, "I just don't like the way you reacted."
"Please understand…" Amabel said, looking her friend in the eyes, "I didn't leave because I didn't agree with who you are. I left because I got scared that somebody would walk in and we would be torn apart…" Amabel couldn't go on, but Jessica didn't need her to.
By the time the girls hit high school, they had already fallen deeply in love; but they had no way of expressing this love in public, or else risk persecution and death threats from the other students. Instead, they chose to have their relationship in secret down by the river they both loved so much. They would meet late in the afternoon in a secret location that only they knew about. It wasn't hard for them to sneak out either; Jessica used it as an excuse to stay in shape for sports and Amabel's parents were just glad they daughter wasn't a shut in. It was down by the river in their secret spot that they felt safe enough to act like a couple. They kissed, held hands and talked about each others' days; they fought, they cried, they made up. There wasn't anything stranger about their relationship, at least to them. It was just like any other relationship between a boy and a girl.
Suspicion rose when rumors started about how much time they spent together alone. In order to head these off and keep their secret safe, Jessica got a boyfriend. When Jessica told Amabel about it, she wasn't mad or jealous; she was just happy to see the rumors and the weird looks go away. Of course, now that Jessica had a boyfriend, they couldn't spend as much time together. He was a nice boy, though. His name was Donovan, and he had grown up with both Jessica and Amabel. Jessica knew he had the biggest crush on her ever since middle school, so he was the perfect cover. Splitting up her time between Donovan and Amabel started to take its toll on Jessica though. She would miss Amabel so much that she would begin to daydream about her while on a date with Donovan. This would, in turn, make her feel guilty because Donovan was proving to be a great friend and she didn't want to hurt him. He even got along well with Amabel, which was a great relief for Jessica; even though she felt like Amabel only like him because he dispersed rumors about her and Jessica being together.
Things began to get complicated during their junior year of high school. Jessica and Donovan had been 'dating' for two years; Donovan wanted more. He felt like it was time to take their relationship to the next level. Jessica resisted him every time, though; kissing him felt uncomfortable enough and she hated every moment their lips touched. She passed those moments thinking of Amabel instead and it made the interaction somewhat bearable. Amabel had come under scrutiny again; her distance made her an easy target, and whenever a guy did take the chance to ask her out, she would always say no. Some days she could take the quiet ridicule; other days it was more forward and directed at her, and she would go home in tears. Jessica felt horrible for not being able to stop the bullying. Both girls began to get incredibly depressed, and people started to notice.
"What's wrong with you?" Donovan asked her on one of their dates. It wasn't a question of shock or anger; it was more out of concern.
"What?" Jessica didn't pick up on the question; she'd been thinking about Amabel.
"You've become really spacey." Donovan said, "I mean…you've always been a bit distant, but lately it's like you're not even here."
"I'm sorry Donny." Jessica sighed.
"Are you worried about Amabel?" He asked.
"Yeah. She's being picked on again." Jessica sighed, "And I don't see her often enough anymore to make her feel better."
"Because you feel obligated to spend more time with me?" Donovan always had a spectacular way of reading her mind.
"I'm sorry." She started, but Donovan cut her off.
"Don't be." He smiled, "I've been getting the feeling that you want a break from me anyways. She probably needs you more than I do."
"Thanks Donny." Jessica smiled. The next day, Jessica met up with Amabel by the river. They embraced each other like two long lost friends.
"I'm sorry I've been gone so much." Jessica whispered.
"Don't be." Amabel said, "Donovan has needs, too."
"Yes, but I can't…I can't satisfy all of those needs." Jessica was on the verge of tears. She could see Amabel was too.
"He's your boyfriend."
"But I love you, not him."
"I know. I love you, too." They kissed. Something scuttled in the bushes, startling both girls. Jessica picked up a big stick and stood protectively in front of Amabel. Nothing came out of the bushes.
"It was probably just a mouse or something." Jessica concluded.
"But what scared the mouse?" Amabel asked.
The beginning of next week was the same as always; get up and go to school, study and hope for the day to go quickly. When it ended, Jessica almost got away in time to meet up with Amabel, but Donovan intercepted her.
"Hey Jessica." He said with his usual, casual smile.
"Oh. Hey Donny." Jessica smiled back.
"There's something I want to ask you." Donovan said. Jessica's throat tightened up and her pulse quickened; could he have been the one yesterday? Did he see anything?
"Sure." Jessica tried to sound as normal as possible.
"My family's going up to my uncle's cabin this weekend and we'll be there all next week. Would you like to come with us?" Donovan still had his normal smile. It didn't appear he knew anything.
"I'll have to ask." Jessica responded, "I'll catch you later."
"Goodbye, beautiful." He'd started calling her beautiful lately; probably an attempt to boost her feelings for him.
This time Jessica was the first to the river. She waited patiently for Amabel to arrive, dreading the fact that she had to tell her friend about going away with Donovan. She'd already determined that if Amabel wanted her to stay, she would stay and give him some excuse. When Amabel did arrive, she seemed shaken up.
"Amabel?" Jessica asked as they hugged, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Amabel said, "It's just more stupid rumors."
"Are they getting bad?"
"They're getting home." Amabel sniffed, "My parents just confronted me about it. I told them that they were just stupid rumors started by the other kids. They seemed to buy it." Jessica hugged her tightly.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
"I'm fine." Amabel smiled, "Speaking of rumors, I heard that Donovan asked you to his uncle's cabin." Jessica looked away, "Do you want to go?"
"Are you gonna be ok by yourself next week?" Jessica asked, "Because if you want me to stay, I will stay."
"Jessie, go." Amabel smiled, "Have fun. I'll be ok. I promise."
"You're not jealous?" Jessica asked. Amabel kissed her with every piece of emotion she could muster.
"I'm insanely jealous." Amabel giggled, "That he gets you all to himself for the week." Jessica smiled.
"I'll miss you like crazy." Jessica said.
"I know." The kissed again. It was getting late, so they decided to walk home together.
"It's a beautiful place." Donovan had told her on the car ride over, "You're going to love it."
"I'm sure I will." Jessica smiled. She had gotten to know his family very well over the two years they had been dating. None of them had a clue, though, about her real feelings. The cabin was in a beautiful spot; over looking the sea, it sat atop a large hill all by its lonesome with three stories of rooms filled with his uncle's art work. Jessica was impressed by his uncle's skill, but it was the conversation she had with him on the third day of the trip that really made her respect him. She was alone on the balcony of the second floor; Donovan had gone out with his father and brother and cousin on the fishing boat and his mother and sister and other cousin had gone into town shopping. His uncle approached her and stood next to her, staring out at sea.
"You don't really like him, do you?" He had asked her. Jessica was shocked initially; she thought she'd been doing a great job convincing the family of her affection for Donovan.
"Of course I do." Jessica smiled nervously, "We've been going out for two years now."
"But you don't like him." His uncle smiled and this time Jessica read into it. It was an understanding smile; an empathetic one.
"No…no I don't." Jessica sighed. He put a hand on her shoulder.
"So you're…" Donovan's uncle left the space blank, but Jessica knew what he was implying.
"Yes." She said. Despite the feeling that Donovan's uncle would be welcoming of her feelings, she was still frightened by admitting it, "I am."
"It's a horrible feeling." He said, "Knowing that no one around you will ever accept you as you are, and that no one else knows what you're going through." He smiled, "You tell yourself that you're no different, but deep down you know that you are. And as long as you accept that fact, they cannot hurt you." It was then Jessica realized what he saying.
"Did people know?" She asked him.
"Know?" He laughed, "I flaunted it in their faces."
"Then how come I've never heard of you?"
"They refuse to talk about me." He chuckled, "I'm still an embarrassment to my parents, and my brother. My art has paid well enough though."
"Are you happy here, all alone?" She asked.
"No one is happy alone." He told her, "And if you don't know that, you're either fooling yourself or you've got someone." Jessica broke eye contact and he laughed a little, "So there is a girl in your life?"
"Yes…" Jessica said quietly.
"Then what are you doing with Donovan?" He was still laughing.
"It keeps the pressure off." Jessica said flatly.
"Off of you." He smiled, "But what about your girl?" Jessica remained quiet, "Does he know?"
"Who?"
"Donovan."
"No…" Jessica looked up at him, this poor lonely man.
"You should be honest with him." Donovan's uncle said, looking back out to the sea, "I'm sure he'll accept you for who you are. He's got a good head on his shoulder." Jessica hugged him suddenly, tears in her eyes.
"Thank you." She whispered. Donovan's uncle hugged her back, "I'm sorry you had to suffer alone."
"It's alright." He said, "It's made me who I am." Jessica smiled at him. She knew what needed to be down.
That night, Jessica snuck into Donovan's room. She woke him up quickly.
"We need to talk." She said.
"Can't it wait?"
"No." Donovan looked up at her.
"Is it that important?" He asked her. Jessica nodded her head, "Ok. Talk."
"Not here." She whispered, "Get dressed. Meet me on the balcony." She left him there dumbfounded, every nerve in her body on panic mode. She waited on the balcony for about ten minutes before Donovan showed up.
"Hey." He whispered.
"Hey." She whispered back.
"What's up?" Donovan asked, "Hey. What's wrong, are you ok?" Jessica realized that she was crying.
"No…no I'm not alright." She sobbed quietly.
"Talk to me beautiful, what's going on?" Donovan put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead.
"There's something I need to be honest with you about…" She whispered, "Something I should've been honest about two years ago."
"Jess, you're scaring me here." Donovan held up her chin and looked into her eyes, "What are you trying to say?"
"Donny, I'm…" She took a big breath, but all she could draw in were ragged gasps.
"Jess just-."
"I'm gay, alright?!" She sobbed, trying to keep her voice down. Donovan just looked at her. She couldn't look at his face anymore and just buried hers into his chest, sobbing quietly.
"Is this some kind of joke?" He asked, still confused.
"Do I look like I am joking?" Jessica hissed.
"Alright, alright." Donovan pushed her away gently and held her at arm's length, "Then why are you crying?"
"You don't hate me?" Jessica asked.
"Well I'm a little miffed." Donovan admitted, "But I still love you. And if this is who you are, then this is who I love." Jessica fell into his chest again, relieved by his honesty.
"Thank you…" She whispered.
"This does explain things. Why you never wanted to go farther than kissing and holding hands." Donovan smiled.
"I couldn't even stand kissing." Jessica admitted.
"How'd you get through all of it then?" Donovan asked her.
"I pictured Amabel…" She said before realizing she'd just thrown her best friend under the bus as well.
"So you two really are-."
"Yes."
"And I was just-."
"Cover. I'm sorry Donny." Jessica felt her face grow hot.
"That's ok." Donovan smiled, "Honestly." Jessica smiled back.
"You won't tell anybody will you?" Jessica asked.
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart." He kissed her forehead again and held her tightly in his arms. Jessica felt safe and warm in his arms.
"I miss her." Jessica said.
"I'm sure she misses you too." Donovan giggled.
"What are you laughing about?" Jessica asked.
"Just picturing the two of you together." He admitted, "You must have her absolutely whipped." Jessica thumped him lightly on the chest.
"You're so insensitive."
"So she has you whipped?" Another thump.
"Not even close." Jessica smiled.
On the way home, Jessica rode with Donovan alone while he drove. She talked with him about how she and Amabel would meet up by the river and how scared she was to be with her because she was so afraid that somebody would see them together and hurt her. Then they got onto the subject of his uncle.
"Your uncle gave me some great advice." She said nonchalantly.
"Did he now?" Donovan asked.
"Yeah." She said, "He told me that if I accepted it within myself, that they couldn't hurt me."
"Do you think it's true?" Donovan glanced at her; she could see the concern in his eyes.
"I really don't know." Jessica sighed, "I mean they can't make fun of me because I don't care. But not caring isn't going to protect me from a gunshot to the head or heart."
"No one's going to shoot you." Donovan said, his voice cold, "I'll make sure of it."
"Why do you care?" Jessica didn't know why she was getting upset, only that his protectiveness of her and his relaxed reaction to her confession seemed to be agitating her. She'd expected him to be more violent, more against it, but he wasn't.
"Because I love you." He said matter-of-factly.
"But I don't love you." She said. She didn't mean to hurt him, but it was the truth.
"I think you do." Donovan said, "Maybe not the way you love Amabel, but I think you do love me."
"Maybe you're right." Jessica looked away from him. They drove on in silence. Jessica watched the scenery change as they drove past; hills rolling up and down, trees here and there. Jessica was about to apologize for her snapping behavior when he asked:
"Does she mean a lot to you?"
"What?" Jessica looked at him, taken aback by the sudden question.
"Amabel." Donovan said, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead, "Does she mean a lot to you?"
"She's my whole world." Jessica smiled, tears lightly staining her cheeks.
"I just needed to be sure." He said. They drove in silence again. This time it didn't last as long.
"If you two do decide to go open with your relationship" Donovan said, "You'd better be prepared for the repercussions."
"Amabel and I love each other very much." Jessica said firmly, "And nothing the other kids say will change that."
"I wasn't worried about the kids." Donovan said. A cryptic shudder went through Jessica's spine as they pulled into town.
Amabel was overjoyed to see Jessica home, and was ecstatic when Jessica began to spend more time with her. It was three days after she got back that Jessica told Amabel about Donovan's uncle and his advice to her.
"Do you really think we should?" Amabel asked. Jessica could hear the fear in her voice.
"I'm not sure." She said, hugging her lover tightly, "All I know is that I can't stand to be apart from you anymore." So the girls decided that it was time to come out about their relationship. They decided that after high school, they would go live with Donovan's uncle; away from all the hateful and judging people. Jessica even got his number from Donovan and talked with him about it; he said it was a great idea, but that they needed to be able to pay rent get jobs and all that jazz. Jessica told him about how Amabel was an amazing piano player and could get gigs playing at restaurants or something. She also told him about her own art skills, drawing and painting and the like. This news made him very excited, and he said that they could arrange more details closer towards graduation.
The first day was the scariest. Jessica had already officially broken up with Donovan, and the rumors were already buzzing around. Then they walked into school holding hands, and the school went nuts. They received many insults throughout the day.
"Hey faggots." One particular jock, who was a known bully, jeered at them as they walked to class. Surprisingly it was Amabel who got him back.
"Oh thanks." She said with a smile, shocking both Jessica and the jock, "I have lost some weight. I'm glad you noticed."
"That doesn't make any sense." The jock mocked.
"Yes it does." Amabel said, still smiling, "You called us a bundle of sticks, right? Well sticks are very skinny. So thank you."
"Whatever." The jock said walking away.
"Don't mind him." Amabel said to Jessica just loud enough for him to hear, "He's just jealous because his stick isn't very long." The comment made Jessica laugh, and the jock's face went bright red. Other students laughed who had heard the comment; and even one teacher had to look away because they couldn't hold their laughs in. But despite this one respectable comeback, the girls were still tormented by the majority of the student body. This they could handle; what happened next week was almost too much to bear.
Upon arrival to cheer practice, Jessica discovered that she had been booted out of the cheerleading squad. She almost lost her spot in track, too, but managed to keep it because she was near the top in state for the one hundred meter dash. But even at track practice, the other's avoided her like the plague and the coaches began to ignore her training. Jessica pushed herself hard because she knew she couldn't let this distract her and slow her down. Besides, Amabel had started coming to her practices and her presence helped keep Jessica calm. Amabel, though, had been feeling the brunt of the bullying from the adults. Most of her teachers had started marking her grades down and giving her the most unreasonable and ridiculous reasons for the marks. She had also been kicked from the after school choir, which is part of the reason why she now had time to watch Jessica practice track. Both girls had received detentions during lunch for no other reason than holding hands in the hall; an act that every boy/girl couple did. Amabel and Jessica were actually rather calm as a couple; most others could found making out in the bathroom or obscure corner or even the parking lot. Jessica and Amabel only kissed in private. Some parents had also started shouting obscenities at the girls as they walked home from school. Home wasn't much better.
"My parents want to send me to some camp that's supposed to 'reform' us into 'normal' people." Jessica complained one day. Amabel had remained silent for the most part, "Sweetie what's wrong?"
"My dad left us." Amabel said, staring at the ground.
"I'm so sorry." Jessica squeezed her hand, although she was very tempted to hug her lover in a very big bear hug.
"My mom keeps telling me that it's not my fault." Amabel went on, "But I think it is. They'd been fighting all week; the week you went away. I don't know what about, but…this…" she meant the two of them together, "Probably just pushed him over the edge and he up and left."
"That's horrible." Jessica said. Amabel looked up at her and she smiled, which surprised Jessica.
"That's ok." She said, "I don't need him in my life if he's going to reject who I am."
By now, news of Jessica and Amabel had spread throughout the entire community. Both girls received hate mail from people who lived on the other side of town. There were days were Amabel would rush over to Jessica's house in tears because of something someone said; her mother was out working double shifts and had been since her father left. Jessica would always be there, holding back her own tears from her own hate mail. Jessica's parents didn't help; every time Amabel came over they would show her the pamphlets from the 'reform' camp and encourage her to go with Jessica. Jessica would get angry with them for even bringing it up; Amabel would just decline politely. The river continued to be their special location and where they spent most of their days together. The only other person who knew of the spots location was Donovan, and Amabel was ok with this because Donovan was so understanding and caring. One day, Jessica had had a really tough time at home and went to the river in tears. Amabel was there mere moments later, sitting in her lap and consoling her with kisses and hugs.
"It's too much." Jessica had whispered, hanging her head in her hands.
"I know, love." Amabel said, "But just hang in there, ok? We're almost ready to graduate."
"Amabel, we have an entire year still. We're only juniors." Jessica said.
"We can do this." Amabel smiled, taking Jessica's hand, "It's going to be alright." Jessica just sighed and held Amabel closer. She had phoned Donovan's uncle about the two of them just leaving town and coming up to live with him after school was out. He told Jessica that they had to at least get high school diplomas, or there was no deal. While it frustrated Jessica greatly, she understood his reasoning, "Besides" Amabel smiled at Jessica with a small, slightly seductive smile, "It's almost summer. We can go swimming in the river." Amabel winked, which made Jessica smile and laugh. They kissed briefly and hugged each. Jessica looked up and saw someone running away. It wasn't Donovan.
The next day at track practice, Amabel wasn't in the stands watching Jessica. One of the other girls asked her about it.
"Hey Jess." She said, getting Jessica's attention, "Where's Amabel?"
"I don't know, actually." Jessica said, curious as to why someone would try to talk to her about it, "She's having problems at home."
"I heard." The girl, named Sara, said frowning. Her concern was legitimate, "I also heard you're not doing so well yourself." Jessica just looked away.
"It's difficult." She said quietly. Sarah quickly changed the subject.
"I'm actually kinda jealous of you two." She said casually, running a hand through her hair.
"You are?" Jessica looked at her with surprise, "Why?"
"Well, you two obviously have your relationship figured out." Sara said, "My boyfriend can be a real jerk sometimes and other times he's really sweet." She sighed, "Plus, Amabel comes and supports you and actually watches you practice. My boyfriend doesn't even come to watch me at practice or at meets, and if he does come, he's too busy whistling at other girls to even notice me." She threw her hands up in mock desperation, "He kills me sometimes. He really does." Jessica had to laugh a little at Sara's predicament, "Oh, so you're laughing at me now?"
"No, no not at all." Jessica quickly apologized. Sara punched on the arm lightly.
"Relax." She smiled brightly, "I'm kidding. It's good to see you smile again." Jessica smiled slightly, "Are you two going to go to prom together?"
"I don't think so." Jessica said.
"Why not?" Sara actually sounded offended at this remark.
"Well…dances aren't really Amabel's thing..." Jessica said, "And I don't really wanna be stared at all night by teachers and students who hate us being together." Sara waved her finger in the air.
"You have nothing to be ashamed about." She said, "They're just jealous they can't find a decent relationship like you two have." Sara then looked at her phone, "I've got to go. I hope you'll think more about prom. Bye Jessica."
"Bye Sara." Jessica smiled. It felt nice to have someone happy for her and Amabel.
Track practice was cancelled the next day due to a teacher meeting. A heat wave had rolled in, making spring almost like summer. The girls had finally decided to go down and have a swim at the river. The water was cool and refreshing, bringing an instant relief to the girls as they swam. It took a lot of encouraging, but Jessica finally convinced Amabel to wear the two piece that she had gotten her as a present at her last birthday.
"I don't feel comfortable in this." Amabel complained.
"You look adorable." Jessica smiled, hugging her around the waist. Amabel looked up to her and gave her a small smile.
"You really think so?" She said, a flush of red coloring her cheeks.
"Of course I do." Jessica kissed her on the forehead. Amabel kissed her back on the lips.
"What do you say to another quick swim?" Amabel smiled, cheeks red, "I think I need to cool down."
"I'm all for it." Jessica smiled. They turned to go back in the water when Amabel cried out and pointed. Jessica followed her finger to a dead swan floating in the river. Swans were Amabel's favorite animal.
"We have to help it." Amabel cried.
"Sweetie, it's gone." Jessica held her arm.
"We have to do something." Amabel broke free and splashed clumsily into the river. With the utmost care, she took ahold of the swan's wing and attempted to drag it to shore, but the combined weight of the bird and the water the corpse had was too much for Amabel's slender arms. Jessica sighed and finally dove in after her. Together they dragged the bird up onto the beach. Immediately the cause of death became apparent.
"The poor thing…" Amabel sobbed, greatly affected by the sight of the corpse. Jessica enveloped her in a protective embrace, rubbing her arm for reassurance.
"We can at least assume it didn't suffer." She whispered. The gaping hole in the chest cavity was still oozing blood; the result of a high powered rifle.
"Why would somebody do such a thing?" Amabel buried her face into Jessica's shoulder, unable to look anymore. Jessica could feel her shaking with sorrow and rage. It was time to get her home.
"Come on, sweetie." Jessica started to pull her away, "We'll let somebody else deal with it. We need to go home and wash our hands. There's no telling what diseases are on it."
"No!" Amabel resisted, "We have to find its mate." She was full on crying at this point, "If we don't, it'll just die too. And what if they had babies? Who's going to take care of them?"
"Everything's going to be alright." Jessica tugged, "Let's go home. C'mon."
"But…but…" Amabel couldn't formulate her words, her body racked with sobs.
"Hush." Jessica said, "It's going to be ok. We don't even know if it was with another swan. It's out of our hands." Amabel gave up and buried her face in Jessica's neck. Jessica had to carry her home.
After they washed and disinfected their hands, Jessica stayed over. They were up in Amabel's room, cuddling after the long and harrowing event.
"You remember that picture I drew you?" Jessica asked, "The one with the two swans flying away together?"
"Of course." Amabel smiled, "It's my favorite."
"What did you ever do with it?" Jessica asked. Amabel got up and went into her closet.
"I had it framed." She said, pulling out a medium sized picture frame. Inside the glass was Jessica's drawing, "I had it hung up for the longest time."
"Why'd you take it down?"
"Because I didn't want people to see it…" Amabel looked away, "I thought…that people might interpret it as you and me, and they would try to break it or something."
"That's ok." Jessica smiled, "I understand."
"Thanks." Amabel put the picture away and jumped back onto her bed, "I wish we could've at least buried it…"
"It was too heavy, and we didn't have a shovel." Jessica sighed, running a hand through Amabel's blond hair, "There's nothing we could've done." Amabel smiled weakly, looking down.
"I guess you're right." She sighed, then looking up, "Besides, it was probably just an accident or something." Jessica kissed her forehead.
"Yeah. An accident." She said. She was unable to tell her friend about the horrid thing she'd saw done to the swan. Branded on one of the wings were the words: 'This is a warning.' Jessica smiled at her friend as they looked into each other's eyes. It was then that Amabel's mother called them down to dinner. Jessica decided that Amabel need a distraction.
Amabel's mother was ecstatic when Jessica brought up prom; Amabel not so much.
"But it's prom, Amabel." Her mother said again, "You have to go."
"I can go next year mother." Amabel groaned.
"I kinda wanna go." Jessica said. Amabel looked at her like she was mad.
"You know we're just going to be tortured at every turn right?" She said. Jessica ran a hand through Amabel's hair.
"Sweetie we're going to be fine." Jessica said, "Besides, ignore those other kids. This can be our thing." Amabel smiled and looked away shyly.
"It would be nice to dress up for once." She said.
"I can do your hair and make-up." Her mother said, a wide smile playing across her face. Jessica had always been glad that Amabel's mother seemed unaffected by her daughter's choice of lover; a quality that seemed to be absent in Jessica's own parents, whose mother would always bring up the fact that being with another girl meant that she couldn't give her mom grandchildren. Jessica couldn't wait until graduation.
Prom came up quicker than Jessica was ready for. She had agreed with Amabel that they would buy their own tickets so as to avoid trouble if they could, but even alone they were nearly denied ticket sale. Sara decided to go with them by herself, dumping her boyfriend after he refused to go to prom with her if it was going to be a double date with "the two corrupted bitches." Jessica was at Amabel's helping her get ready.
"My mom had to go to work." She said, sitting on her bed in her underwear, "She was sad that she couldn't see me off to my first prom, but I promised we'd take lots of pictures." Jessica was running a brush through Amabel's hair.
"Sara's sure to have a camera." She said, putting down the brush.
"You sure I shouldn't curl it a little bit." Amabel looked herself over in the mirror. Jessica sat down and wrapped her arms around Amabel's waist.
"You look prettier with straight hair." She said, kissing Amabel on the side of the head. Amabel took both of Jessica's hands in her own and laid her head into Jessica's neck. Jessica started rubbing Amabel's stomach gently. They were so into the moment, they didn't notice Sara enter the room.
"I brought the…oh." She said. Both girls jumped slightly startled, they stared at Sara with wide, scared eyes. Sara just smiled awkwardly, "I didn't realize you two were…uh…having a moment." Jessica and Amabel just continued to stare at her, "I brought the nail polish. " She smiled, "Maybe you two should put your dresses on?" Sara left the room and closed the door. Jessica went into Amabel's closet and took out the dress that they had bought earlier that week. It was strapless, shoulder-less and clung to her sides; the light blue color also went well with her eyes, which were sky blue. Jessica put it over Amabel's head and slipped it on her, zipping up the back and helping with little adjustments here and there. Jessica then put her own dress on; a red satin dress with a small cut through the bottom near her legs.
"You ready?" Jessica asked, putting her arms around Amabel's waist.
"Ready as I'll ever be." Amabel smiled, putting her arms around Jessica's neck. They kissed briefly, to which an audible sigh came from the door way.
"Awww." Sara smiled, "You guys are so much cuter than any couple at our school."
"Thanks Sara." Jessica turned her head and smiled, "It means a lot to hear you say that, really." Amabel just hid her face in Jessica's neck, embarrassed.
"Well, let's get those nails painted up." Sara smiled with glee and jumped on the bed.
Prom was almost like a dream. Jessica had never before felt happier since her and Amabel went public with their relationship. Sara had even gotten a nice picture of them together for Amabel's mother. For the most part they were left alone. Jessica felt guilty about dancing with Amabel to the slow couple songs and leaving Sara all alone, even if Sara did insist everything was fine. Besides a few nasty stares and a couple of remarks, the night went surprisingly smooth. Sara dropped them off afterwards in front of Amabel's house and left them waving goodbye and holding hands.
"I don't wanna go home." Jessica complained, "My parents are just going to grind on me about us again."
"Then don't." Amabel said. Her expression was serious, "My mom doesn't come home for some time."
"Are you sure it's ok?" Jessica asked.
"I don't think my mom would care." Amabel smiled. Together they walked into Amabel's house, and got undressed and ready for bed.
"You have the cutest pjs." Jessica teased Amabel, who wore a plaid flannel shirt and matching flannel bottoms. Amabel looked herself over.
"Well yeah. They are." She smiled. Jessica rolled her eyes and giggled.
"Whatever you say sweetie." Jessica sat down on Amabel's bed.
"What about you?" Amabel asked, sitting down next to Jessica, "You sure you don't want a pair?"
"Amabel, honey, THIS is what I wear to bed." Jessica said, indicating her undergarments. Amabel's face lit up like a tomato.
"Well if you're sure." She said, slipping under the covers. Jessica followed suit, pulling Amabel into her arms.
"Good night, sweetie." Jessica whispered.
"Good night, beautiful." Amabel whispered back. Somehow it meant more coming from her than it did from Donovan. Within moments the girls were asleep.
Jessica was faintly aware of someone crying in the room. She looked up, and through groggy, sleep-filled eyes, saw Amabel's mother in the corner of the room bawling her eyes out.
"Mrs. Grace?" Jessica said, trying to wake herself up enough to find out what was upsetting her lover's mother.
"Oh I'm sorry Jessica, dear." Amabel's mother whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you."
"What's going on?" Jessica asked. She attempted to sit up without disturbed Amabel, who had rolled over in her sleep and had her face buried into Jessica's side.
"I was just…I'm sorry." Mrs. Grace wiped her eyes clear, "I was just getting home and went to check on Amabel when I saw you two together. You looked so peaceful, so happy. It just made me…I don't know. It just made me really emotional."
"Oh…" Jessica didn't know how to respond. Her brain was dogged with sleep and she couldn't think clearly.
"Go back to bed, Jess." Mrs. Grace walked over and kissed her on the head, and then she kissed Amabel on the head. Jessica curled up back under the covers and buried her face into Amabel's hair. She could faintly hear the door close as she drifted back into sleep.
The next morning, Amabel's mother made the girls breakfast. Jessica had to go check in with her parents, so the girls made plans to meet later by the river. When Jessica got home, her parents said nothing. They didn't even acknowledge her presence. So Jessica just went upstairs and decided to finish some homework for school. It took her a few hours to do so, and when she checked the time she realized she was running late to meet up with Amabel. She hurried out the door, not stopping to say goodbye to her parents. Within a few moments, Jessica was running through the woods. She wasn't in any kind of hurry, but she did need to keep herself in shape for track; state was in about a week.
Jessica came upon their spot panting heavily. She saw Amabel sitting by the river all alone, her toes stuck into the cool water. She looked up and waved at Jessica. Jessica waved back and started to hurry towards her when a figure wearing a dark coat came out of the woods, gun pointed at Amabel. Jessica tried to cry out to warn her, but the man fired quickly, hitting Amabel in the back. Amabel screamed and fell over. She tried to crawl away, tried to crawl towards Jessica, but the gunman was already on her. He kicked her over and shot her point blank in the face. Amabel's screams stopped with the sound of gunfire. Jessica was frozen to the spot; the shock of seeing Amabel shot to death had glued every muscle in her body. She was powerless to help. She couldn't even scream her voice was so caught up in her throat. Then the assailant turned on her. He started to approach her, gun pointed directly at her chest. Jessica couldn't move; she couldn't get away. It was then that another figure ran through the brush and tackled the gunman to the ground. It was Donovan. Life suddenly poured back into Jessica's legs and she found herself running over to Amabel's body, running past Donovan as he wrestled with the gunman. She fell to the ground and gripped Amabel's cold hand.
"Amabel…" Jessica sobbed, "Amabel don't go." But it was too late. Amabel was gone. Her face dotted with blood from her own gunshot wound; her blond hair stained red. Jessica didn't ever realize that she was screaming, that the tears were pouring down her face. She was faintly aware of someone speaking to her and a hand on her shoulder. She ignored it, intent on staying by Amabel's side until the rest of the world ended for her world had been torn away from her and slaughtered like an animal right before her eyes. Someone was shaking her, she tried to ignore it. Suddenly she was lifted from the ground, away from Amabel. She screamed and kicked and fought, but the man carrying her was too strong. Jessica was sat down on the back of an ambulance, still fighting, still crying. She was faintly aware of Donovan wrapping his arms around her, saying something to her, trying to calm her down. Jessica began coughing violently, unable to breathe properly. Her hearing came back to her slowly.
"Jessica." She could hear Donovan's voice in her ear. She looked up at him, her vision blurry and clouded, "Jessica." He said again. He wiped her face gently and she could see again. She could see Donovan's face, the bruise on his cheek from where the gunman, no, the murderer, had struck him.
"She's gone." Jessica sobbed, her voice barely above a whisper, "She's gone…"
"I know." Donovan embraced her, "We're going to get him. He's not going to get away with this."
"She's gone…" Jessica couldn't say anything else. Nothing else mattered.
"I know." Donovan said again, rubbing her back. He began to rock her back and forth, "I know."
Jessica spent one afternoon in the hospital being treated for shock. The doctor told her parents to keep a close eye on her, but Jessica didn't want to go home. News had to have reached Amabel's mother by now. Jessica wanted to make sure that she was ok, even though she wasn't sure if she herself was ok at all. Besides, her parents weren't going to do anything; they weren't going to try to help her through this. On the way home, Jessica's parents remained stone silent; what do you say to someone who's just lost everything? When the car was parked in the driveway, Jessica got out and went straight over to Amabel's house. Mrs. Grace opened the door, her face red and puffy, tears still falling down her eyes. Jessica ran into her arms and started crying herself.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
"It's not your fault." Mrs. Grace replied, "You didn't do this to her." That night Jessica ate with Mrs. Grace. The house was silent as they dined. When they were done, Mrs. Grace washed the dishes and Jessica went up to Amabel's room. She sat down on her bed and looked around, all the memories of her time with Amabel coming back to her at once; prom, sleep-overs, after school hangouts, the morning after prom. All of these and more, in random order, flooded Jessica's mind. Tears fell from her face again. Mrs. Grace walked in.
"She talked about you all the time." She said, sitting next to Jessica.
"Did you suspect anything?" Jessica asked.
"I had my theories." Mrs. Grace said, "But Amabel was happy. She was smiling. I remember days she came home crying because someone had picked on her that day. And I always brought up your name and that would always put a smile on her face."
"Did you ever hate her for it?" Jessica asked.
"No…" Mrs. Grace seemed to be deep in revere, "No. I was glad she found someone who cared about so much. I was happy that she was happy." She suddenly stood up, "I have something for you."
"You do?" Jessica looked up at Amabel's mother as she walked into Amabel's closet. She did some rummaging and pulled out a picture frame. Not just any picture frame, the same picture frame that held the picture of the two swans Jessica had drawn for Amabel in middle school. It was Amabel's most prized possession.
"So you can have something to remember her by." Mrs. Grace said, forcing a smile.
"I couldn't…" Jessica shook her head. Mrs. Grace put a hand on her shoulder.
"Please." She said, "She'd want you to have it." Jessica smiled at her; this kind woman who had been so supportive of her daughter in her choices in life and especially her choice of love.
"Thank you so much." Jessica said hugging Amabel's mother.
"You're welcome." Mrs. Grace said, "You can stay for as long as you want." Jessica slept in Amabel's bed that night.
The week blurred by like the most common shade of grey and felt just as dreary. Jessica spent her birthday shut away in Amabel's room, bawling uncontrollably. Turning seventeen without her was too painful for Jessica to bear publically. Amabel's funeral was bitter and short; the priest spoke quickly about life and sin. Jessica assumed most of this was aimed towards their choice in being gay and the priest wanted to remind everyone how homosexuality was condemned in the eyes of God. Jessica found it all to be bullshit; what God would condemn his own children for love, even if that love was different? Jessica wasn't allowed to speak at the funeral, and Amabel's mother had nothing to say after the priest's speech. No one else got up to say anything. After her body was buried, Jessica laid a single rose in front of the headstone. Its generic words were almost insulting as Jessica read them to herself:
Here lies Amabel Maryanne Grace
June 1st, 1995 – May 20th, 2012
May you rest in peace
No mention of being a wonderful daughter, no mention of being a terrific student, no mention of being the best friend a girl could ask for. Nothing. Even in Death, she was being put down for loving Jessica, and it made her burn with rage. Donovan was by her side the whole time.
"Do they know who it was yet?" She asked him quietly.
"No…" Donovan shook his head, "But they do have a lead they're going to follow up on."
State was the day after Amabel's funeral. Jessica had been up all night crying. She refused to ride with her parents and instead got a ride with Sara; she'd have driven herself, but Sara insisted she was in no condition to drive.
"Are you gonna be ok out there?" Sara asked her.
"No…" Jessica mumbled.
"You only have the one hundred meter right?"
"Yeah…" Jessica mumbled again. Sara sighed.
"C'mon Jess, perk up." She put a hand on Jessica's arm, "Do you think Amabel would wanna see you like this?" Jessica could only shake her head as tears fell down her face; and by the time they arrived at the stadium, Jessica barely had the energy to walk. She was greeted by her teammates with solemn nods and the occasional "I'm sorry"s. Jessica ignored them all and went straight to warming up, her event was, after all, one of the first events of the meet. She tried hard to focus her mind on the race before her but, even so, she could only put so much heart into it, and her muscles felt drained of all life. Her coach approached her.
"Harriet." He said, "I don't want you pushing yourself today. You just run your race. Ok? You have nothing to prove."
"Thanks coach." Jessica sighed, "I'll do my best." After that he left to go make sure Sara and the others were getting ready. Donovan had even come to watch her race. He'd texted her earlier that morning to win it for Amabel. She'd just ignored it; Amabel would've been happy with her even if she placed last.
Finally it was time for the girls one hundred meter. Jessica was in lane four, and she wasted no time in removing her sweats and getting into her blocks. She took a couple of deep breathes and tried to clear her mind. But try as she might, she couldn't help but picture Amabel; her face, her voice, the time by the river, the swan. It was the picture of the dead swan that drove the energy out of Jessica's heart. Just then the official called out "Set!" for the girls to get ready. Jessica got into ready position, but her whole body was shaking. The official held them in ready position for a few moments, most likely waiting for Jessica to stop shaking. In the end, Jessica collapsed onto the ground. The official sounded his whistle, signaling the girls hold up and relax. Jessica was approached by both the official and her coach.
"Is everything ok, lane four?" The official asked.
"Jessica, you feeling alright?" Her coached asked. Jessica sat up on her knees and legs. She tried to wave them off.
"I just got a little dizzy, that's all." She insisted, "I'm fine. Really." The official seemed to buy it, but her coach was more skeptical.
"Are you sure you can do this?" He asked.
"Of course I can." Jessica said, "Amabel would want me to." Her coach left after that. Jessica tried to clear her mind again, this time with limited success. The official yelled "Set!" once again. Jessica assumed ready position, still shaking just slightly. A few moments later, the gun sounded. Jessica took off as hard as she could. Time slowed down to mere seconds. One second, I can do this. Two seconds, Amabel would want me to win. Three seconds, She was so sad when we found that dead swan. Four seconds, The swan was a message. Five seconds, I could have saved her. It was this thought that entered into Jessica's head. It planted itself deep within her mind, causing her feet to slow until she stopped and collapsed onto the track, tears streaming from her face. The other racers had already finished. Some were running back to her, the official was hurrying over, and her coach was coming. Even Sara was running towards her. None of it mattered to Jessica. Once she realized that Amabel could have been saved, that she could have saved her, nothing mattered anymore. The official was yelling at the other runners to stay back. The coach was by her side, trying to talk to her. Sara had arrived, even Donovan. The entire stadium had gone quiet, and all Jessica could do was cry.
Two days after Jessica's humiliating collapse at track state, the jock that had called them faggots a life time ago was brought into custody. It was no secret that Amabel's comment about his 'stick' had really offended him, and had even driven some other students to tease him behind his back. It was rumored that he had finally snapped and decided to get revenge. Jessica sat in the courtroom and watched the prosecution unfold. Much to her dismay, it became her worst nightmare. The jock, Derrick, officially pleaded innocent to all charges of harassment, stalking and murder. But Donovan had told her that he bragged about to his friends extensively. When the prosecutor questioned him about this bragging, his only reply was:
"I was just commenting about how I was happy that somebody finally offed the bitch." Other than that he denied all allegations of murder. Even his alibi, which had about as many holes as swish cheese, was considered 'valid' and had two witnesses to validate it; Sara's ex-boyfriend and Donovan's brother. In the end, Derrick walked away free, acquitted of all charges. Donovan was steamed about how much of a conspiracy the case had become. People were obviously not going to help bring Amabel justice because she was gay.
Jessica began receiving anonymous death threats about two weeks after Derrick went free. They seemed to come from different people, and would appear in her locker or come in the mail. The scariest one was actually in her room when she found it. School was a week from being released for the summer, but Jessica couldn't face it anymore. She stayed home and shut herself away in her room. Jessica's parents, now far over her being gay, were just afraid for their daughter's life. They went to the police with all of the threats, but the police said they could do nothing unless an actual crime was committed. Donovan had finally grown sick of it all.
"We need to get you away from here." He said to her one day, "It's not safe here anymore."
"Where could I possibly go?" Jessica said.
"We can go to my uncle's cabin." Donovan said, running a hand through her hair.
"What do you mean 'we'?" Jessica asked him quizzically, "I'm the one being threatened here."
"I can't leave you by yourself." He said, kissing her forehead, an action he hadn't done in a long while.
"You know you're too good to me." Jessica sighed.
"There's no such thing as too good." Donovan smiled. He kissed her lips this time. Jessica remained still.
Within a week, Jessica and Donovan had moved into his uncle's cabin. He had been more than welcoming when he'd heard the terrible news. Donovan and Jessica had, in a way, gotten back together, but only because Jessica felt guilty about how much Donovan cared about her. Despite the constant affection, though, Jessica's mood never improved. She spent most of her days staring at her drawing of the two swans. It didn't help when Sara stopped by to see how she was doing, and she had brought her school yearbook with her.
"I'm sorry." Sara said as they went through it. Not once was Amabel's murder mentioned; no story, no page, nothing but a footnote near the back of the yearbook. Jessica threw it to the side and put her face in her hands. Sara hugged her tightly, "I tried, really I did. I was out voted."
"Democracy sucks." Jessica spat, sobbing heavily. Sara squeezed her tightly.
"How are you and Donovan?" Sara asked.
"As good as you can be when only one of you is into the relationship." Jessica sighed.
"Do you think it's fair?" Sara asked.
"He's given me so much, it wouldn't fair to him if I rejected him." Jessica shrugged her shoulders.
"I meant for you." Sara urged. Jessica didn't answer.
It was late at night, Sara had left and Donovan's uncle had stepped out for the night. Jessica was in Donovan's bed.
"Do you really want to be with me?" Donovan asked her, arm around her body.
"You've taken me in and helped me with so much." Jessica said, "You even respected me when I told you about me being gay, and you said you still loved me for it."
"But does that really mean you want to be with me? Like this?" Donovan asked her again. Jessica avoided his eyes.
"It's my turn to make you happy." She said. She kissed Donovan on the cheek and nuzzled her face into his neck. He kissed her on the top of the head, and then her forehead. Jessica had never felt more uncomfortable in her life but she pushed down the feelings. It was going to be a long night.
The next morning Jessica was in tears. What had happened with Donovan last night had shattered all remaining shreds of happiness and dignity that she had left. She felt disgusting because she had betrayed who she was on the inside, and she felt even worse because she had betrayed Amabel. Donovan's uncle had some alcohol in a cabinet in the kitchen, but it wasn't strong enough to make the feelings of depression and hatred go away; in fact, it only made it worse. Every memory, every moment that had spent with Amabel came back with a vengeance; every moment of last night with Donovan came back causing her more pain. In her drunken stupor she had turned on the radio. The song on the radio was an old one, but it was Amabel's favorite song; Fix You by Coldplay, her absolute favorite band. Jessica listened to every word as they flowed into her and merged with her soul. At this point Jessica had stopped caring and tears ran down her face, covering her arms and her blouse with dark stains. In her hands was the drawing she had given Amabel; the two swans in flight. By her side was Donovan's uncle's gun. Gently she set the drawing down on the bed and put a note she had written on top of it. Then, slowly but surely, Jessica put the gun up to her head. She placed it in the exact spot where Amabel had been shot; two inches above her right eye. She started to cry harder, sob heavier. She was incredibly frightened, but the song kept playing. And as it played, Jessica could see Amabel walking before her, hand outstretched. The hallucination calmed Jessica down. The trigger pulled easily.
Donovan stood before the grave stone in tears. Jessica's suicide struck him all the way to his core; his very soul. He knew that what he did to her was wrong. The funeral for Jessica, as for Amabel, had been very short and pathetic. Donovan spoke briefly about how much he would miss her, but anything more he may have wanted to say was cut out as the priest said it was time to bury the body. Had Donovan and Sara not threatened to sue the church, they would have placed Jessica's body as far away from Amabel as possible. But he knew that's not what she would have wanted, she said so herself. 'She was my world. I love her so much and I can't go on without her anymore. I'm sorry. Bury me next to her; that is all I want. Keep us together. Please.' Donovan placed the two roses down so that there was one for both graves, Amabel's and Jessica's. Jessica's grave read as plainly as Amabel's:
Here lies Jessica Bronwyn Harriet
May 21st, 1995 – June 1st, 2012
May you rest in peace
Sara came and stood next to Donovan. She took his hand and squeezed it gently. He bent down and kissed her cheek. They had decided to become a couple and move away from town so they could live their lives in memory of their friends, whose love was so looked down upon that it cost them both their lives. Sara bent down and put the picture of the two swans in between the headstones. The two birds were still in flight, the picture untouched behind the frame; mated forever and free.
"Let's get going." Donovan whispered, wrapping an arm around Sara's waist, "We have a plane to catch."
"I'm going to miss them." Sara sobbed. Together they walked away. The graveyard was empty, save for one person who now approached the graves. It was Amabel's mother. Tear lines stained her cheeks, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were red. Slowly she sat down in front of the graves.
"You two were always the most beautiful swans in the pond." She whispered, "I'm sorry Amabel. I should've been more careful, I should've insisted that Jessica stayed." She wiped her face and turned her attention to Jessica's headstone, "And I'm sorry Jessica. You were the best thing to happen to Amabel. You don't know this, but you made her life worth living." She sniffed and wiped her nose, "I should've kept a more watchful eye on you. Amabel was always telling me about how swans mate for life." She frowned "And about how if one is killed, the other one will die soon after." Carefully she put her own roses down. "It didn't have to end this way" Mrs. Grace sobbed, "It didn't have to end this way."
Related content
Comments: 16
Annyaonweb [2013-02-01 00:20:12 +0000 UTC]
I found a comment on yuumei's journal earlier. It was yours. It made me want to come see what you write. I'm glad i did. I was very surprised at the quality of emotional tension that made me want to finish it. I did feel that the "sweetie, beautiful, etc" dialogue parts could be improved a little bit to make them feel more natural but amidst the rest very detailed and beautifully pointed out scenes, backgrounds and objects, i feel it's small and you will have no problem improving short dialogues. They did feel very meaningful, all over. I also did love that the story didn't let me know what was happening as some obviously share to the viewer. I was glad to see it inspired thoughts of "maybe Donny is spying, maybe Sara has ulterior motives, maybe Donny's brother and her ex-boyfriend this this for them, maybe Jessica's parents want her back enough to eliminate the problem, maybe they were religious nuts, maybe, maybe, maybe, etc"
I did cry a lot, i barely could read the final part. I was hoping for a little more detail at the part where Amabel died but i loved the scene with the seconds, that's one of my favorites styles of building tension, creating that feeling of slow motion and terror at the same time, feels like you're watching a scene in a movie and you can "see" the screams and such.
So, very few improvements to do but gorgeous work overall, and i liked the "swans mate for life" part as well, deeply suited your story. When i read your comment, i had in mind one thought: "i hope i find something that inspires me to draw a scene from it" I'm pretty sure i will be keeping this piece in my favorites and maybe do that digital drawing piece in the future. I would do it right now as this was so inspiring but i feel i need to level up my skills a bit so i can showcase the scene as it is in my mind, i don't like to rush things. I would make them look happy for sure, with the world stopping around them. Darn, you make me play the scene in my creative box over and over. Hehe, well, thank you very much for the read and i hope i can come back later and really give this a good piece in return
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CardianAChevalier In reply to Annyaonweb [2013-02-01 00:55:03 +0000 UTC]
You have honestly made my day. I will take what you have said into consideration. I'm working on two other pieces right now, but hopefully I'll get around to making the dialogue better.
This is probably the best feedback I have ever gotten in my little "career". You have my utmost thanks. QwQ
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Annyaonweb In reply to CardianAChevalier [2013-02-01 09:47:53 +0000 UTC]
The pleasure is all mine I am also a writer of male gay stories, currently working on a original novel but i won't be finished by summer though.. Well, I really love that you encourage gay support in your work, so yeah.. five thumbs up, very good writing and ideas~! I will keep an eye out on stories from you for sure
I hope i can provide more feedback for you in the future, definitely deserving.
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CardianAChevalier In reply to Annyaonweb [2013-02-01 18:39:33 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much.
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CindyAvelino [2012-11-28 17:17:04 +0000 UTC]
wow.. it was really good, I cried
I was so sad in final, I was enjoying a lot her love..
the Amabel and Jessica death was so tragical too, I was not expecting amabel's death, it was suddenly and very sad..
How I said before, I drove into the characters feelings in a way I have never imagined before, I could feel the presure, the sad moments and the happy moments..the fears..
Superb story
and..
I can't believe in your country or city it has some prejudgement against a gay couple like this, fortunately in my country it does not happen.
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CardianAChevalier In reply to CindyAvelino [2012-11-28 20:34:40 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for your words. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. My country is, thankfully, moving towards a more accepting view of gay couple.
Unforunately, a month after I wrote this story, two gay girls in a relationship were shot in the head. One of them died. I felt....terrible. Like I hadn't done enough to prevent it. :/ I mean, what could I have done? It happened hundreds of miles away. But still.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read this.
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CindyAvelino In reply to CardianAChevalier [2012-11-29 20:39:20 +0000 UTC]
I enjoyed a lot!
I'm glad your country is changing..
that's so sad for them, unfortunately you couldn't do anything =/
and you are welcome, I also suggested "Rejection" as a daily deviation, I hope it can be featured, ^^
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CardianAChevalier In reply to CindyAvelino [2012-11-29 22:13:27 +0000 UTC]
That means so much to me. QwQ I would be overjoyed if it was selected to be such. Thank you so so so so so much.
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CardianAChevalier In reply to CindyAvelino [2012-12-06 04:19:39 +0000 UTC]
....I just realized that this still has a bunch of grammar errors in it. QnQ I need to fix it quickly.
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kernal-flob [2012-05-29 22:33:38 +0000 UTC]
Took your advice and came for a read. That's a very powerful story you have there.
A little hard at times to keep out the rest of the world while I was reading, but as soon as I'd tab'd out I'd come back to carry on reading.
Well done to you.
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Ronniebear812 [2012-05-26 17:34:31 +0000 UTC]
This made me cry... but wow... This was really good.
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