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Description
Writing It Out
   Is it bad that it's all I can think about? The way his warmth radiated around me, encircling me with a feeling of safety and...belongingness, was it? The way his hand held mine, warm and just secure, or the way his thumb stroked my hand ever so gently, or the way my head rested so easily on his shoulder?
   But now, I wonder...does he mean any of it? Is this my paranoid-self, convinced that someone liking me is near impossible like a foolish girl? Is he just having his own bit of fun, or does it mean more?
   And what about the things I've heard? About his...certain tendancies toward women and various things I've heard from others and himself from self-harm to more personal matters.
   Yet, there was, is, something alluring about him, something different, geniune maybe. What now? Just let this weekend pass, and see what happens after break? Or, maybe something will happen before the day is out. Maybe, just possibly, maybe...
***
   Never before have I met a more depressing creature, his negativity spreading like his warmth. After hearing his rant on how life is pointless and whatnot, I wanted to say something positive, something to change his perspective. Yet, no words could come across my lips. The most I could muster was something like, "Everything and everyone dies eventually; you just have to make the most of it."
   Even when he grumbled in disagreement, I found myself interested in him. I feel like this may be a challenge for me, but more than what it sounds like. He's just so different, unique, and something I'm not used to. It's amazingly interesting.
***

Description
Writing It Out
   Is it bad that it's all I can think about? The way his warmth radiated around me, encircling me with a feeling of safety and...belongingness, was it? The way his hand held mine, warm and just secure, or the way his thumb stroked my hand ever so gently, or the way my head rested so easily on his shoulder?
   But now, I wonder...does he mean any of it? Is this my paranoid-self, convinced that someone liking me is near impossible like a foolish girl? Is he just having his own bit of fun, or does it mean more?
   And what about the things I've heard? About his...certain tendancies toward women and various things I've heard from others and himself from self-harm to more personal matters.
   Yet, there was, is, something alluring about him, something different, geniune maybe. What now? Just let this weekend pass, and see what happens after break? Or, maybe something will happen before the day is out. Maybe, just possibly, maybe...
***
   Never before have I met a more depressing creature, his negativity spreading like his warmth. After hearing his rant on how life is pointless and whatnot, I wanted to say something positive, something to change his perspective. Yet, no words could come across my lips. The most I could muster was something like, "Everything and everyone dies eventually; you just have to make the most of it."
   Even when he grumbled in disagreement, I found myself interested in him. I feel like this may be a challenge for me, but more than what it sounds like. He's just so different, unique, and something I'm not used to. It's amazingly interesting.
***