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Published: 2009-07-20 04:23:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 212; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 1
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Description
Rain-clouded eyes withforest-shade irises
unlock trap doors of
repressed wounds, and
I see myself bleed for you
But the ace of agony will
soon be stripped from your soul
as pain is turned to anger...
my anger, bringing karma
to its knees so I can
avenge you: the wronged
victim who fell prey to
the regal tyrant oppressing
his very throne with the
weight of cruelty
If only I could race time
and give that tyrant a
taste of the pain he wrought
upon you, force the taste of
iron onto his taste-buds
and let the bitter defeat
steep in his gut;
how I wish I could
float against the current
of this violent river and
dam up the waterfall
that mercilessly vaulted you
onto the jagged rocks below
But I'm just grabbing at
old memories, like a dog
biting at running water...
Comments: 11
Shyanne-Kai [2009-10-14 13:29:52 +0000 UTC]
Fantastic wording and images. You can almost feel the emotion pouring out of the words.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
catnipkitty In reply to Shyanne-Kai [2009-10-14 18:29:36 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ElegantFaith [2009-07-26 06:34:48 +0000 UTC]
I just read this four times over and I still don't really know what to say.
This is great. Your imagery is so good. I want to say "I know how you feel" but you worded this so intricately, I don't think I can. @.@ It's so specific, but I'm sure everyone's felt this way at some point. Awesome juxtaposition everywhere.
I enjoyed this so much Ima read it a fifth time right now.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
catnipkitty In reply to ElegantFaith [2009-07-28 02:29:51 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so very much! I'm really glad you liked it and even happier that you've read it so many times!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
InnocentFreespirit [2009-07-23 00:41:14 +0000 UTC]
Awesome ending. I really like your style.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
catnipkitty In reply to InnocentFreespirit [2009-07-24 03:32:49 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
catnipkitty In reply to suddenly-owls [2009-07-24 03:33:07 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RockerByBaby [2009-07-20 23:51:23 +0000 UTC]
Whoa! Yeah I do like it, I did enjoy!
I love the route you took with this, it was unexpected but understandable too. You leave readers guessing, but with an ending of fun imagery. I thought it clever & original to execute that into a poem, as well as brave because it can be rough effectively incorporating unusual metaphors, similes, & imagery.
Way to go my dear!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
catnipkitty In reply to RockerByBaby [2009-07-21 19:01:49 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1