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catnipkitty — Blanket of Stars
Published: 2008-04-04 03:28:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 126; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description
My life is gone,Given up as a
Sacrifice to the sea;
Its frothy white cap rolling on
Forever frolicking waves
They greet me with
Tender kisses to my feet,
The salty brew calming my
Wild spirit and begging me
To let faded memories
Flutter heavenward,
While I escape below the surface
My fatigued limbs
Transform into weightless nothings,
Free as seaweed released from
Sandy prisons;
My thin, cotton draperies
Drink their fill
And trail behind me
As the playful tide
Swirls, tugs, and releases
The folds that cling to my water glistened skin,
Like a child of two, bashfully clutching
A mother's skirt tightly
And as I walk silently on,
No eye will glimpse nor shed a tear;
Only the waking moon and
Brilliant stars up above
Shall witness my last wish:
To sleep on the sea
With a blanket of stars...
Comments: 15
Thanks for telling me! 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Alright, as I'm reading these, I may be a little rough but just keep in mind it's because I see you as a friend trying to win a contest. You can ignore the following crits for ALL these poems!
My life is gone, (
sacrifice to the sea; (
forever(-)frolicking waves
They greet me with
tender kisses to my feet, (
wild spirit and begging me
to let faded memories
flutter heaveanward,
while I escape below the surface
My fatigued limbs
transform into weightless nothings, (free as seaweed released from
sandy prisons;
My thin, cotton draperies
drink their fill
and trail behind me
as the playful tide
swirls, tugs, and releases
the folds that cling to my water glistened skin, (not sure glistened fits, glistening does but I think a diff word might work)
like a child of two, bashfully clutching
a mother's skirt tightly
And as I walk silently on,
no eye will glimpse nor shed a tear;
Only the waking moon and
brilliant stars up above
shall witness my last wish:
To sleep on the sea
with a blanket of stars...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks! I'll probably end up revising a bit later....I'm really tired...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"Free as seaweed released from
Sandy prisons;" -- 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
First stanza sucks you in faster than a hoover.
The imagery in this piece is priceless. For example: Free as seaweed released from/Sandy prisons;
It negates the solid and formal punctuation for a more fluid and whimsical manner that made me think of a daydream by someone who has finally found their release.
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Thank you! 
You're right about the release part! 
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Well basically, this woman longs for death (depressing I know, but there's more to it). She's old and withered, ready to let go. But held back from her demise by children unwilling to let her slip from this life. So she's taking matters into her own hands. The moon is a symbol for God, watching her take her own life. The stars are angels and there is a sense that she doesn't think she will be accepted into Heaven because of what she's about to do. So the only place she wants to be, is out on the sea.
I hope you don't mind me telling you....I wasn't sure if that was a "not sure..." as in, "let me think on it" or "enlighten me please".
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Didn't mind at all. It had a extreme layer that makes perfect sense after hearing that.
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Well, I'm glad I could clarify things for you!
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