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catnipkitty — Celestial Waters
Published: 2009-01-23 22:02:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 97; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description There are stars
in the midnight pond
of my dreams,
gently twinkling as
ripples on the glass surface
urge shimmering shadows to dance
with those bright-eyed specters
within my hand's reach,
yet constantly evading my grasp.

I lie on the dewy hem
of that pure, bobbing body -
my own the opposite of
a fish out of water
that helplessly flops on its side -
and wonder what those lanterns
swinging on the water's surface
would feel like in my hands.

Upon my touch, would they
sting like hornets
come out of a hive in a
humming fury,
all because I came too close?
Would they burn my skin
like a glowing iron brand,
leaving it puckered and red?

If not fire, would ice
freeze my fingers and
chap my flesh?
Would the biting frost
turn my pigment blue
like a chameleon changes color,
masking its existence?

Perhaps a gentle warmth
would spring forth from
the hazy light
resting in my palm,
tingling my hand as it
grows in strength, then ebbs away,
throbbing pools of sparks
about my cupped appendages
as if it were voicing a child's
laughter and delight while
she reaches for stars
in the midnight pond
of her dreams...
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Comments: 7

Wyn-- [2009-08-02 10:30:42 +0000 UTC]

I like this a lot. there are some amazing images here. you've really done a good job. There are a few things i would change:

There are stars
in the midnight pond
"of my dreams",
this reads the same:

There are stars
in the midnight pond
gently twinkling as
ripples on the glass surface
urge shimmering shadows...

also:

Upon my touch, would they
sting like hornets
[come(ing)] out of a hive in a
humming fury,
all because I came too...

this is a great poem. i love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Wyn-- [2009-08-04 03:54:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll take them into consideration.

And I'm glad you liked the poem!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Infrunitas [2009-03-12 16:32:47 +0000 UTC]

the physical aspects of this piece pull me in, like the fingers and ice. nicely written

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Infrunitas [2009-03-14 02:57:06 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lost-lil-eskimo [2009-01-24 00:04:16 +0000 UTC]

Lots of good imagery!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to lost-lil-eskimo [2009-01-24 04:41:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lost-lil-eskimo In reply to catnipkitty [2009-01-24 19:36:43 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0