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catnipkitty — Confrontation
Published: 2008-08-06 01:07:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 106; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description
The thoughtis little less than thunder
as it rages through
heavy air:
The moisture
clinging
to my tussled hair,
Tickling my neck as it
slides down a path
of tiny follicles
that stand on end
How fast the blood
flows
as it courses through
elastic tunnels,
Quick, but choppy
Clammy hands
curl into stone fists
as rigor mortise
seems to grind itself
into my muscles
as I stand,
Petrified
before you...
Comments: 11
that's a very sensory, very physical piece - it twirls and spins the reader around your body and the world...all at once too! cool
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
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The first stanza seems to hum with the light plucking of guitar strings with very slow moving fingers.
Lovely piece, especially as it funnels into the ending
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Thanks! I wasn't really sure about making it stand on it's own at first, but then I thought it actually sounded pretty good! I might mess around with it a bit still though....hmm...
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It reminds me of Twilight because of being like a statue.
I like it.
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Thanks! I hadn't thought of that before, but I guess it does have that sort of feel to it!
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Yay! See what we were talking about with those sudden splurges of inspiration?
I know you found this, but it still counts.
This reminded me of the bone talk we just had.
You made me feel like my muscles tensed. Very well done!
I will be honest, though..the formatting of this wasn't so swell. To me, anyway. Well, I mean it was like it was just dripping and whispered softly, which was a great effect and contrast to the tense narrator, though some of it was a bit off to me.
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Yeah, I was thinking of that when I added Entropy's Finale actually. 
Thanks!
I'm not that thrilled with the formatting either....originally, I was thinking of adding more to it, but I don't know what more to add....maybe something'll come to me.
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I thought that, too. That you should add.
Hey, perhaps it will?!
You're soo welcome!
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