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Published: 2009-06-16 02:54:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 276; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description
What fresh horror'wakes me anew
with ghastly features
such as these?
Oh, the putrid stench
afflicting my nose,
the tendrils of flesh
twitching to and fro,
dripping off the bone,
tormenting my trembling eyes!
"Away with you, foul creature
of man's doomed future!"
My countenance has
suffered greatly in this
dark hour; my mind
spins tales using a widow
spider's needle and thread.
Oh, corrupted time,
has Death's royal finger
directed me to my grave?
"Petrified spirit, I beg of thee,
release me from thy dead gaze!
Swivel those glazed eyes -
foggy and sightless - away from
my immobile mass!"
Heavens, it draws near!
Stretching out its knobby hand
the shriveled figure speaks
a language of silent syllables;
the rotting lips beckon my name,
bidding me follow.
"How now corpse, I
dare not go with thee!
Your image doth chill me
to the very bone!"
See the frown creep across
its disfigured face as it
falters a moment, dribbling
droplets of blood.
Still, it creeps closer 'till
naught but an inch remains
between the outstretched hand
and my quivering self.
"Come no further demon,
or Hell will never reclaim you!"
But what's this?
'Tis a hideous smile
as ever there was one,
encroaching upon the creature's
face; with a swift jerk,
the pallid flesh rips
my life away as
the cry leaves my lips,
now gone cold...
Comments: 12
RockerByBaby [2009-06-30 05:59:10 +0000 UTC]
I honestly though of Shakespeare throughout
This is fun, wonderful imagery, very nicely written, I can tell you've put alot of energy and emotion into this, perhaps some hidden metahors of fearful factirs/items?
Either way, grand job!
Regarding the sound files.. I've wondered the same..
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catnipkitty In reply to RockerByBaby [2009-07-01 03:05:54 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it!
I was trying to get the fear of death into it. In my mind, I had imagined the speaker actually looking at his/her own corpse right before this person dies....does that make sense? That's what I had in mind when I wrote this anyway.
There should be some way you can add a sound file to a deviation.....I think it would bring much more attention to poems if they added a feature like that, wouldn't you think?
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RockerByBaby In reply to catnipkitty [2009-07-05 08:25:36 +0000 UTC]
Very much so!
They truly could get away with this!..
Welcome
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catnipkitty In reply to RockerByBaby [2009-07-06 02:13:11 +0000 UTC]
I wonder if there's some way to suggest that idea to DA....hmmm....?
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The-Raker [2009-06-18 22:33:30 +0000 UTC]
I like the narrative aspect and how you relate the story through what is thinking and what is said
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catnipkitty In reply to The-Raker [2009-06-21 03:14:41 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
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DuscaMei [2009-06-17 15:54:55 +0000 UTC]
I like the slight switch between what is happening and what the person is saying--it keeps the story moving. I also love your descriptions. They're all very vivid and original.
And yes, the MacBeth influence is pretty obvious, but that's a good thing. I adore MacBeth.
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catnipkitty In reply to DuscaMei [2009-06-21 03:16:03 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and it's always nice to hear that people like my imagery!
I love Macbeth sooooo much! It's one of my favorite pieces of literature.
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