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catnipkitty — Monologue
Published: 2008-03-11 21:36:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 98; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
How can you speak of misadventure and defeat upon such emboldened servants? If they believe in victory, so shall they attain it! You can no longer hold them in bondage, keeping them from wondrous dreams and aspirations of salvation. Who are you to send forth words to them of insufficience? Nothing but a dictator are you, forcing them to serve like slaves to your every whim! I say they be released from the dungeons you so cruelly kept them; locked in despair and ruin with no escape or hope of freedom. Compassion overflows from my bosom for these poor captives, but how can I save them whilst chained down by guilt from the part I had to play in their torment? Haunted by demons of past treasons I am. Forced to wallow in my own wickedness and bathe in remorse for such atrocious deeds! How can this burden I bear be lifted from my dejected soul? Oh woe is me, for the suffering I have caused! And cursed should you be for the corruption you have instilled in my being! If only these caustic words could plague you with the most unbearable of times! Aye, then justice would be partially served; for you would be damned...
Comments: 11
Mmm, tasty words. P: I dig it. 
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You expressed your character's passion wonderfully, and the vocabulary is well-used (I didn't even really pay attention to it until I read the other comments, which means it sounds natural).
Your first inverted sentence ("Nothing but a dictator are you") works well and adds variety and atmosphere. Your second one ("Haunted by demons of past treasons I am."), however, seemed a little awkward - you'd probably do just as well to put the "I am" at the beginning like usual.
I would also be interested to know the background of your characters - part of a slave trade or keeping prisoners of war or maybe even something more figurative? The obscurity of the situation kind of distracted me, but then I am awfully curious about things sometimes.
All in all, good job!
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Thanks!! I really didn't have much in mind for this...it all started in my philosophy class actually....my professor was just going over the same thing and I was getting bored....so I started to write. I guess I never really gave it much thought about who the character is supposed to be....
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I second Infrunitas; splendid vocab really sets the piece off. It was like a speech emotionally drained from the lips of some dark loner force from an epic, like The Cyclops in his cave (The Odyssey). Sweet! 
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Thanks a bundle!!! 
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hardcore vocabulary. Did you want me to start reading the lines as slashes of a sword? That's what I was feeling
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Yeah....I kinda had my thesaurus by my side. 
As for how you read it.....whatever comes to your mind is awesome! 
Did you like it though?
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You know me, I'm always drawn to passion. Nicely done.
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