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catnipkitty — My Happy Place
Published: 2008-12-05 18:20:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 153; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 6
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Description
I close my eyes and seethis chaotic world escape from me,
it slips away out from under my feet
like the bleached sand does on a beach
I inhale the sea breeze scent:
salty, but refreshing and cool
as it fills my nostrils and
cleanses the lungs in my chest
I feel the frothy brew upon my face,
its playful touch like a lover's embrace
whose gentle fingers caress my skin
and bestow upon me serenity within
I hear the waves as they
crash onto shore like liquid thunder
and recede: gently hissing as they
reclaim sandy dunes
I hear the heartbeat of the sea...
Comments: 8
Lovely imagery and flow. The solid stanzas you've created do it justice.
If I may offer a critique: The last line of the first stanza seems to steal a bit from the rest of the stanza's glory:
(sliding) away out from under my feet
like the bleached sand slipping... (eh, have to play with it)
"does on a beach" just lingers to me.
Great read!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks a bundle! 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"it slips away out from under my feet
like the bleached sand does on a beach"
& "I hear the waves as they
crash onto shore like liquid thunder"
& the ending line are snazzyriffic!
I will fave just for that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! And thanks for the fave!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
