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catnipkitty — Ruin
Published: 2006-12-20 02:58:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 256; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 5
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Description The soft flame that kisses pale, mortal flesh,
Burns like the Sun's outstretched fingertips
at high noon. Water, water, yearns the lips,
but none comes. Only the whip's sharp caress.

How I despise such cruelty and coldness!
The rough fingers that will gently grip
bloody hair like bands of iron, rip
clumps of locks; she is nothing but helpless.

Face of stone and heart of ice, the old crone
breaks brittle bone, whips slow crimson liquids
from trembling flesh; such cruelty never known.

A poor, frail maiden, Lashed to the bone
with salty streams that trail down her visage,
collapsed outside the threshold of my home.
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Comments: 7

AshleyLeopard [2006-12-20 07:32:55 +0000 UTC]

I love it, it's classic. Very Paradise Lost.

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catnipkitty In reply to AshleyLeopard [2006-12-21 00:31:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!!! It was a little frustrating though, because it took me a really long time to think of stuff that went together. Sometimes I really hate set rhyme patterns........

LoL. XD

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AshleyLeopard In reply to catnipkitty [2006-12-21 03:02:20 +0000 UTC]

Me, too, it can get annoying but when it's done right, it can come out really pretty. Bravo!

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catnipkitty In reply to AshleyLeopard [2006-12-22 02:22:36 +0000 UTC]

True, true... Thanks!!

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AshleyLeopard In reply to catnipkitty [2006-12-22 03:06:30 +0000 UTC]

Welcome! x)

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Alchemy-of-the-Heart [2006-12-20 03:05:10 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful, beautiful imagery. Perfectly selected words. Excellent writing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Alchemy-of-the-Heart [2006-12-21 00:36:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!!

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