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catnipkitty — Sloth
Published: 2007-08-04 19:56:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 78; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description During the day
I dream and play,
During the night
I sleep the hours away,
Time runs past
In a blur of motion,
Yet I stand here
Unconcerned by the work
Piled high above my head,
I sit and watch
Shadows drift throughout
My mind,
A lifetime of
Nothing
In a land of
Rotting dreams
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Comments: 4

Alchemy-of-the-Heart [2007-08-06 23:26:07 +0000 UTC]

The bits of rhyme in the first few lines work very nicely, and so does the wording throughout the poem. My favorite phrase is "rotting dreams," because it really does bring out the danger of laziness and the reason for work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Alchemy-of-the-Heart [2007-08-07 04:38:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! This was one of the last ones I wrote because I wasn't sure how to go about it. But when I finally decided to make it 1st person, it came to me quite easily. I was trying to go for something like that. Glad you liked it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AshleyLeopard [2007-08-06 02:55:48 +0000 UTC]

"In a land of rotting dreams"- makes me think of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to AshleyLeopard [2007-08-06 03:17:46 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, it does sorta have that ring to it doesn't it? Thanks!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0