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catnipkitty — Treasure Hunt
Published: 2008-10-13 22:53:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 200; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 7
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Description The gate swings open,
closed, open again as
I smile to the lilies
and pampered gentry
flowing past my oak
entrance, reminiscent of
ships sailing into port.

Crocodile smiles and
leering eyes all jumbled
up in the fray;
my guests
knock upon the ceiling,
searching for lost
treasure that can't be found.

Past twilit hours
on into night, they
care not what noise
they make;
yet in the morn',  my
babe will cry,
waking me from dreams
of childhood loves
long lost in faded petticoats.
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Comments: 12

RockerByBaby [2008-11-18 22:24:47 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gee, how I looved this! ..

Second stanza truly is rockin' it!
And that ending--impressed!

And just to think; lately, anyone receiving a fave from me has been a toughie.

Excellent word choice and imagery hon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to RockerByBaby [2008-11-19 05:03:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks m'dear! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the fave as well!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RockerByBaby In reply to catnipkitty [2008-11-20 00:54:28 +0000 UTC]

Of course!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Infrunitas [2008-11-09 22:57:31 +0000 UTC]

It's definitely fun imagining the speaker and the setting of the speaker. I must admit that the second stanza is my fav.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Infrunitas [2008-11-10 01:42:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks a bunch!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

msklystron [2008-10-25 04:28:26 +0000 UTC]

Your guests, before I read your comments, seemed to me to be the living ghosts we walk among in anonymity -- neighbours, fellow train riders and shoppers and so on.

The language, flow, imagery work well in this piece. I like your style!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to msklystron [2008-10-25 16:02:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! I'm not entirely sure what I had in mind for this piece when I wrote it, but when I look back on it there are several different interpretations that can be made!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

msklystron In reply to catnipkitty [2008-10-26 18:33:00 +0000 UTC]

You mentioned that 'knocking on the ceiling' came out of your thoughts on your neighbours above. Sometimes these snatches of images and thoughts from daily life put together in a poem create something new, which reflects something that was on your mind at the time of writing. I've drawn and written things with no particular overall theme in mind, only to have a someone else tell me the meaning or to later discover the meaning myself.

Anyway, pieces like this are a lot of fun, because each reader can interpret them in their own way. I always enjoy hearing others' interpretations of my work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to msklystron [2008-10-26 20:53:44 +0000 UTC]

Same here! I think it's interesting to hear what other people think too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

msklystron In reply to catnipkitty [2008-10-27 01:01:51 +0000 UTC]

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Ran-ten [2008-10-17 06:51:28 +0000 UTC]

Well that was an interesting piece O_o interesting equaling good.
I got the pirate theme though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

catnipkitty In reply to Ran-ten [2008-10-17 14:43:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I'm glad you thought it was interesting.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0