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catnipkitty — Vita
Published: 2010-01-12 23:18:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 313; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 1
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Description Three days lost to nothing more than denial
          and my time here is wasted,
  thrown to the four winds
                 so they might whisper wisdom
         through ears as attentive as
                             goldfish

Can these words truly speak
                   of their own will?
       Beckoning through the crags
            and rocky cliffs of
   a perfect wasteland,
                     lying in wait for
           exiled stars?

     I think not...

Days will double -
            triple -
      go on and on
                 without break or breath
            nor sighing sleep

And we -

       We will not linger
long enough for
               life to pause ---
                     before it's past...
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Comments: 16

vivitarose13 [2010-03-17 01:16:05 +0000 UTC]


The spacing works, I don't think it's particularly too surreal.

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catnipkitty In reply to vivitarose13 [2010-03-24 02:50:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the feedback!

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vivitarose13 In reply to catnipkitty [2010-03-27 23:38:00 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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Crunch-go-leaves [2010-03-16 18:48:50 +0000 UTC]

Holy geez. Now THAT'S some poetry right there.

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catnipkitty In reply to Crunch-go-leaves [2010-03-24 02:50:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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angel-in-pieces [2010-03-16 17:29:32 +0000 UTC]

I think the structure works really well, I particularly like your use of pauses - they really accentuate the tone and slow the pace to emphasise the meaning.
You also use some lovely images: 'perfect wasteland' and 'exiled stars'. Very nice!

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catnipkitty In reply to angel-in-pieces [2010-03-16 17:37:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! I appreciate your feedback!

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angel-in-pieces In reply to catnipkitty [2010-03-16 17:42:28 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome! (:

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InnocentFreespirit [2010-01-15 20:58:02 +0000 UTC]

You have such a way with expressing words that it feels like a living thing when i look at them. The first stanza is my favorite.

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catnipkitty In reply to InnocentFreespirit [2010-01-16 02:08:34 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

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fotomademoiselle [2010-01-15 12:23:42 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow; this is amazing! Very philosophical I think. xD Life does pass us by very quickly, unfortunately. But that is why we must live it the fullest we can, and not take a single second for granted. Sorry to hear about your friend. =/ Your emotions really shine through this piece though. ^^ How on earth did you get the spacing/indention of the lines like that??

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catnipkitty In reply to fotomademoiselle [2010-01-15 15:10:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I agree with you completely; the death we see and hear about gives us a chance to be extra thankful for the time we have here on Earth and for the people we share that time with.

It's actually pretty easy to get the indentations and spacings. All you have to do is type it in with the spaces and it should show up in the deviation that way. If it doesn't, I usually go to "edit deviation" and put the spacings in again and save it that way. After that, DA should get the fact that you did it on purpose and it will show up that way on the actual page the deviation is on. Hopefully that makes sense....

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fotomademoiselle In reply to catnipkitty [2010-01-15 20:57:21 +0000 UTC]

Yes yes, good point!! I completely agree And I feel so stupid for asking about the spacings now....it's never really worked for me before. I'll have to try again! XP

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catnipkitty In reply to fotomademoiselle [2010-01-16 02:11:56 +0000 UTC]

Aw, you don't have to worry about it! DA is stubborn sometimes and if you've tried it before without it working, why would you try the same thing again? I'm just stubborn and figured I'd try editing it to see if that would work, and it did! No need to feel stupid (as George of the Jungle would say... )

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fotomademoiselle In reply to catnipkitty [2010-01-16 18:24:26 +0000 UTC]

haha! well, i shall try it again! *triumphant pose* XP

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catnipkitty In reply to fotomademoiselle [2010-01-16 19:19:26 +0000 UTC]

You can do it!

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