HOME | DD

Description
Something I wrote a few years back and thought of sharing here. Starting with definition and some short info on the subject of trauma followed by my own thoughts and personal experience with it.

"𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘣𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦.

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳, 𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵-𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯.

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴. 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 ‘𝘛’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴.

𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧-𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 ‘𝘛’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢. 𝘖𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘭 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺. 𝘌𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦: 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦, 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵; 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵, 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴.

Large ‘T’ traumas are extraordinary experiences that bring about severe distress and helplessness. They may be one-time events like acts of terrorism natural catastrophes and sexual assault. Or, they may be prolonged stressors like war, child abuse, neglect or violence. They are much more difficult or even impossible to overlook, yet they are often actively avoided. For instance, people may steer clear of triggers like personal reminders, certain locations, or situations like crowded or even deserted places. And they may resist confronting the memory of the event. As a coping mechanism, this only works for so long. Prolonging access to support and treatment prolongs healing.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢:

𝘌𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘴: 𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭, 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰: 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘯𝘪𝘢, 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘴.

𝘗𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴: 𝘯𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘢, 𝘥𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘴.

𝘗𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴: 𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋, 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘴."

We can't heal from childhood, teenagehood or any other ‘T’ trauma while being subjected to it.

And even if eventually, we find ourselves in much brighter times, in healthier environment, both inwardly and outwardly, many years might pass before we become mentally and spiritually mature and capable of revisiting the past and addressing all that needs to be addressed.

Until that happens, the hurt inside of us will spill its poison out and cause fresh new trauma in the present.

Some people never break out of the vicious cycle and are slowly tortured and ultimately destroyed by their own suffering.

Others do, they crack open, face the monsters, dissect their experiences and in the acts of understanding and acceptance, become finally free from them.

"Healing is a journey, not a destination."

The journey starts at the dark back alley of incomprehension and it takes bravery, time and effort to explore the darkness and move forward into the light.

Similar to the 5 stages of grief with terminally ill people (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), this too happens in stages.

And if we jump from point A to point Z skipping everything in-between, then we're simply suppressing instead of processing.

But skipping from point A to point Z might actually be point B, then followed by C, D etc.

Examining our ‘T’ traumas and truly coming to understand their dimensions can not be the very first thing we do after enduring them.

It is something that happens down the road, when and if certain conditions are in place to enable it.

But before we get to that point we must first experience the echoes of the trauma, the chain reaction in our psyche and our life.

As the saying goes "things must get worse before they get better".

‘T’ trauma is an experience that goes against everything we consciously or subconsciously know is right and natural.

In our hurt, distress and our incomprehension of the events we instinctively try to remain unaffected and unchanged by them.

We might not even acknowledge the injury we suffered and somehow normalize what happened to us, even if it's anything but normal or acceptable.

It's amazing how our brains can gloss over such experiences and twist our perception of them to make them somewhat bearable.

The coping mechanisms being activated aren't something we think through and consciously decide on, but come as automatic psychological responses to help us adjust and maintain a certain level of emotional well-being.

They serve their purpose when it's all too painful and too much to handle, but they only work for so long and not without causing a cascade of negative effects.

Our inability to process the trauma, inevitably results in it's perpetuation in our life.

It doesn't matter how convincing we are in denying it or how deep inside of us we bury it, we simply can't escape the many ways in which it ills us.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

We can't begin to heal unless we start making the unconscious conscious.

This requires a certain level of mental and spiritual maturity, but most importantly support.

"A burden shared is a burden halved."

It's a true blessing to find this one person in the whole wide world to share the burden with.

To fully open up to and confide to, to be loved, understood and genuinely supported by.

To feel safe and excepted in your entirety.

Regardless, if found in the face of a loved one, support group or a therapist, support is absolutely vital.

Our most active healing happens in supportive environment, where we can freely express and explore what's within us.

Where we can begin to acknowledge and process our traumas.

Allow all memories, thoughts and feelings.

Hide no longer, but seek to remember more and understand more, so we can heal more.

Emotional pain, fear, disgust, shame etc. — all negative feelings that our traumatic experiences might invoke in us, dissolve in the very moments in which we transmute them into understanding.

The further we venture in, the more aware we become of the many layers and dimensions of our traumatic experiences and their toxic products and traces in our lives.

Respectively, in someone else's life, as we become more perceptive and able to clearly recognize 'cause and causality' not only within ourselves but also in others.

Better understanding of ourselves goes hand in hand with better understanding of the 'self' in general.

The analytical thinking we apply to ourselves can not be limited, but extends beyond us.

It examins all the factors that contributed and led to our traumatic experiences and everyone involved — directly, indirectly, prior, during and subsequently — and it extends beyond them.

It extends to every situation, thought, feeling and behavior.

Once cracked open, striving to gain better understanding of things becomes our second nature.

We can no longer be satisfied with the obvious, with the conditioned 'truths' our mind used to tell us.

Instead, we question everything and follow the thread deeper and broader into the intricate matrix of our personal reality.

We must ask ourselves, how are human beings meant to be naturally, and understand that the rest is but the fruits of our conditioning.

We're being conditioned by society on a large scale and by smaller units, like territory, state, community, work environment, social circle, family and any other relationship.

We're being conditioned by each and all of our experiences.

When we come to understand how this works and how everything is in cause-effect relationship, we come to understand that any 'monster' is but a product of its conditioning.

The essence is the same within all of us – one consciousness in multitude of forms.

With our understanding of this comes a softening of the heart. We no longer see monsters, but suffering human beings who are inflicting suffering onto others.

In our awareness we stand tall and unafraid, compassionate and gentle, yet mighty strong.

We don't suppress, dismiss, gloss over or downgrade our traumas and their significance.

We're not denying the injury caused to us by the perpetrator/s.

Forgiving doesn't mean justifying the wrongdoings, but showing compassion and granting ourselves, our fellow man and this world the utmost healing experience.

We put an end to the cycle of suffering and hold ourselves, those experiences and the perpetrator/s in the compassionate heart of our awareness.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do" is the truth.

We're all born innocent and pure.

We all have the capacity for both utter kindness and extreme cruelty.

Our unique journey is what gives birth to both horrors and bliss alike.

Forgiving ourselves and others, forgiving this mad but marvelous world of ours and excepting it 'just as it is' is liberating.

Liberated from all stories and narrow view, we reveal the pure immutable consciousness we all share and in which we have always been, are, and will always be ONE.

Description
Something I wrote a few years back and thought of sharing here. Starting with definition and some short info on the subject of trauma followed by my own thoughts and personal experience with it.

"𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘣𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦.

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳, 𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵-𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯.

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴. 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 ‘𝘛’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴.

𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧-𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 ‘𝘛’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢. 𝘖𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 ‘𝘵’ 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘭 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺. 𝘌𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦: 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦, 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵; 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵, 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴.

Large ‘T’ traumas are extraordinary experiences that bring about severe distress and helplessness. They may be one-time events like acts of terrorism natural catastrophes and sexual assault. Or, they may be prolonged stressors like war, child abuse, neglect or violence. They are much more difficult or even impossible to overlook, yet they are often actively avoided. For instance, people may steer clear of triggers like personal reminders, certain locations, or situations like crowded or even deserted places. And they may resist confronting the memory of the event. As a coping mechanism, this only works for so long. Prolonging access to support and treatment prolongs healing.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢:

𝘌𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘴: 𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭, 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰: 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘯𝘪𝘢, 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘴.

𝘗𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴: 𝘯𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘢, 𝘥𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘴.

𝘗𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴: 𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋, 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘴."

We can't heal from childhood, teenagehood or any other ‘T’ trauma while being subjected to it.

And even if eventually, we find ourselves in much brighter times, in healthier environment, both inwardly and outwardly, many years might pass before we become mentally and spiritually mature and capable of revisiting the past and addressing all that needs to be addressed.

Until that happens, the hurt inside of us will spill its poison out and cause fresh new trauma in the present.

Some people never break out of the vicious cycle and are slowly tortured and ultimately destroyed by their own suffering.

Others do, they crack open, face the monsters, dissect their experiences and in the acts of understanding and acceptance, become finally free from them.

"Healing is a journey, not a destination."

The journey starts at the dark back alley of incomprehension and it takes bravery, time and effort to explore the darkness and move forward into the light.

Similar to the 5 stages of grief with terminally ill people (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), this too happens in stages.

And if we jump from point A to point Z skipping everything in-between, then we're simply suppressing instead of processing.

But skipping from point A to point Z might actually be point B, then followed by C, D etc.

Examining our ‘T’ traumas and truly coming to understand their dimensions can not be the very first thing we do after enduring them.

It is something that happens down the road, when and if certain conditions are in place to enable it.

But before we get to that point we must first experience the echoes of the trauma, the chain reaction in our psyche and our life.

As the saying goes "things must get worse before they get better".

‘T’ trauma is an experience that goes against everything we consciously or subconsciously know is right and natural.

In our hurt, distress and our incomprehension of the events we instinctively try to remain unaffected and unchanged by them.

We might not even acknowledge the injury we suffered and somehow normalize what happened to us, even if it's anything but normal or acceptable.

It's amazing how our brains can gloss over such experiences and twist our perception of them to make them somewhat bearable.

The coping mechanisms being activated aren't something we think through and consciously decide on, but come as automatic psychological responses to help us adjust and maintain a certain level of emotional well-being.

They serve their purpose when it's all too painful and too much to handle, but they only work for so long and not without causing a cascade of negative effects.

Our inability to process the trauma, inevitably results in it's perpetuation in our life.

It doesn't matter how convincing we are in denying it or how deep inside of us we bury it, we simply can't escape the many ways in which it ills us.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

We can't begin to heal unless we start making the unconscious conscious.

This requires a certain level of mental and spiritual maturity, but most importantly support.

"A burden shared is a burden halved."

It's a true blessing to find this one person in the whole wide world to share the burden with.

To fully open up to and confide to, to be loved, understood and genuinely supported by.

To feel safe and excepted in your entirety.

Regardless, if found in the face of a loved one, support group or a therapist, support is absolutely vital.

Our most active healing happens in supportive environment, where we can freely express and explore what's within us.

Where we can begin to acknowledge and process our traumas.

Allow all memories, thoughts and feelings.

Hide no longer, but seek to remember more and understand more, so we can heal more.

Emotional pain, fear, disgust, shame etc. — all negative feelings that our traumatic experiences might invoke in us, dissolve in the very moments in which we transmute them into understanding.

The further we venture in, the more aware we become of the many layers and dimensions of our traumatic experiences and their toxic products and traces in our lives.

Respectively, in someone else's life, as we become more perceptive and able to clearly recognize 'cause and causality' not only within ourselves but also in others.

Better understanding of ourselves goes hand in hand with better understanding of the 'self' in general.

The analytical thinking we apply to ourselves can not be limited, but extends beyond us.

It examins all the factors that contributed and led to our traumatic experiences and everyone involved — directly, indirectly, prior, during and subsequently — and it extends beyond them.

It extends to every situation, thought, feeling and behavior.

Once cracked open, striving to gain better understanding of things becomes our second nature.

We can no longer be satisfied with the obvious, with the conditioned 'truths' our mind used to tell us.

Instead, we question everything and follow the thread deeper and broader into the intricate matrix of our personal reality.

We must ask ourselves, how are human beings meant to be naturally, and understand that the rest is but the fruits of our conditioning.

We're being conditioned by society on a large scale and by smaller units, like territory, state, community, work environment, social circle, family and any other relationship.

We're being conditioned by each and all of our experiences.

When we come to understand how this works and how everything is in cause-effect relationship, we come to understand that any 'monster' is but a product of its conditioning.

The essence is the same within all of us – one consciousness in multitude of forms.

With our understanding of this comes a softening of the heart. We no longer see monsters, but suffering human beings who are inflicting suffering onto others.

In our awareness we stand tall and unafraid, compassionate and gentle, yet mighty strong.

We don't suppress, dismiss, gloss over or downgrade our traumas and their significance.

We're not denying the injury caused to us by the perpetrator/s.

Forgiving doesn't mean justifying the wrongdoings, but showing compassion and granting ourselves, our fellow man and this world the utmost healing experience.

We put an end to the cycle of suffering and hold ourselves, those experiences and the perpetrator/s in the compassionate heart of our awareness.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do" is the truth.

We're all born innocent and pure.

We all have the capacity for both utter kindness and extreme cruelty.

Our unique journey is what gives birth to both horrors and bliss alike.

Forgiving ourselves and others, forgiving this mad but marvelous world of ours and excepting it 'just as it is' is liberating.

Liberated from all stories and narrow view, we reveal the pure immutable consciousness we all share and in which we have always been, are, and will always be ONE.