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chasingcomets — Respiration
Published: 2002-12-12 02:24:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 98; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 13
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Description Respiration

In.

Out.

Breath. Life.

Together, breathing
In imperfect synchronization.
Feel the breeze they create.
Warm, biting, breath of life.

Breathe.
Needle pricks.

Breathe.
Pulling hair.

Breathe.
Stabbing knives.

Breathe.
Gunshots.

Expire.
Peace.
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Comments: 6

chasingcomets [2002-12-14 07:21:47 +0000 UTC]

what the fuck?

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saturday [2002-12-13 10:20:19 +0000 UTC]

It's too easy to write poems without rhymes. But feeling (If there're) don't get proper form in such a case. though the text is very violent, Your poem is just for chillout party (in Cafe del Mar, for example). And you know why? 'cause of rhythm & the absence of rhymes.

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thewanderingspaz [2002-12-12 06:12:06 +0000 UTC]

Interesting enough. I like how it flows together and I like how it ends. Are you talking about peace in death? LoL I played a character who belived the only time he would be allowed to rest was when he died. But yeah anywho nice job! Not sure what buffet means in relation to this poem...

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booga [2002-12-12 04:07:54 +0000 UTC]

yeah lol i had to read a couple of times to totally get it whach makes all the better. suck a round about way of talking about death.

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buffetassassin [2002-12-12 02:30:19 +0000 UTC]

I got beat up a lot in high school.

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mrslobsterhands [2002-12-12 02:27:07 +0000 UTC]

I really like the flow. Everything goes well together. NICE!

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