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The first thing I notice is the sound of the doorbell ringing.

“Ugh, what time is it?” I groan. The doorbell rings again, and I look at my alarm clock to discover that it’s 11:30 in the morning. The bell rings more and more often, almost ceaselessly, as I stumble down the stairs while pulling on a t-shirt and screaming, “I’m coming, damn it!”

“’Morning, beautiful,” Theo says with a wide grin once I open the door. “Hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Sure as fuck you did, I think to myself as he gets his smug self out of the cold. “What on earth are you doing here? I thought you went to visit your family,” I say with a yawn, trying to sound as little annoyed as possible.

He gives me a peck on the cheek. “I got bored.”

“It’s the first day of winter break,” I reply dryly.

“Yeah, but Mom’s at work, and Jamie has school for another week, and I didn’t want to be home alone for most of the day.” He winces as his hat catches on that piercing he got last week. “So I decided I’d come hang out with the bae,” he explains.
“Please refrain from using that word.”

He pouts a little. “C’mon, Ivan. I know you like it.

It’s true, I do, but he interrupted my first good sleep in months, and I really don’t want to be okay with him right now. “It’s a four hour drive to get here from campus,” I point out to him.

“Yeah, I know,” he says with a grin. “It’s six hours from home.”

“It took you six—” I start to yell but bring it down to a whisper, “—six hours to drive here?”

The smirk he gives me makes me want to slap him across the face. “Yeah, and I did it all for you, so you should make me some food. I haven’t eaten since four this morning.”

I roll my eyes and make my way to the kitchen. “You know I can’t cook, remember?”

“A bowl of cereal would be nice.” He leans against the island and busies himself with fixing his hair. One particularly green strand won’t stop sticking up.

I pull some boxes out of a cabinet and walk over to his side. “You want bran flakes or Lucky Charms?”

“Ooh, I haven’t had Lucky Charms since I was eight!” He grabs the box from my hands and starts tearing it open.

“Careful, I think my folks got that for their grandkids.” I laugh a little at his enthusiasm. “And when was that, last year?”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “No, Ivan, more like twelve years ago.”

I take some bowls out of another cabinet and say, “You might be a couple years older than me, but I am definitely the adult in this relationship.”

“Sure you are, grandpa,” he shoots back, holding the box of bran out to me.

“That’s low.”

“That’s life.” He opens the door to the fridge and whistles. “Your house is this huge but you can’t afford a gallon of mi—is that caviar?”

I groan. “Dude, we can grab some food in town before getting some milk.”

“Forget the milk! Do you think your parents would know if I took some of this caviar?”

Why on earth am I dating a guy with a food obsession? “There’s a diner a couple minutes from here if you’d rather go there.”

“But caviar,” he whines.

“That’s probably for the Christmas party. And you know my dad will kill me if there’s any sign of you around here.” I see the bowls of dry cereal sitting on the island. “Let’s just pour the cereal back into the boxes and then I can give you the VIP tour of this place. Sound good?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he says, trudging over to put his head on my shoulder.

I wrap my arms around him gently. “You know I can’t miss you if you’re never gone.”

He returns the hug and nuzzles into my neck, causing me to shiver when one of the cold rings in his lip brushes against my skin. “Yeah,” he whispers, “but I don’t want to have to miss you.” He kisses my cheek again. “You go get dressed, and I’ll go keep the car warm. It’s so fucking cold out this far north.”

I clean up the kitchen and head up to my room to change out of my pajamas. I shove my phone into my pocket after sending Beth a message telling her that I’m going out with a friend and don’t know when I’ll be back home. Hopefully the rest of my siblings won’t be back by then. I quickly put on my shoes and jacket and lock the door behind me as I run out to his car. At least this is more of an adventure than coming home usually is.

xxxxxxxxx

“I don’t think this is a diner.”

“Shut up. We haven’t even gone inside and you’re already judging it.” We pull into a parking space next to a building that looks like an average family restaurant: brown brick walls, windows slightly tinted, striped awnings over every window and door. There’s no real way to tell that it’s a diner unless you’ve been there before, even if not as frequently as I have.

“It’s not even in the same neighborhood,” he says as we get out of the car.

“Well of course not,” I reply. “Not every suburb needs a diner.”

We walk over to the closest door and he holds it open for me. “This looks just like a Denny’s or a Baker’s Square. Those don’t count as diners.”

I smirk as I hold the inner door for him. “Just wait until you get in here.”

“Woah.” He stops in the doorway, taking in the sight of the counter with its shiny red seats and the booths with their chrome tables. I have to nudge him to move inside.

“There’s a jukebox and a dancefloor too, just in case you were curious,” I tell him.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “White picket fence America never ceases to amaze me.”

I walk over to my usual booth and sit down. “You say that as if you didn’t grow up in the burbs.”

“That doesn’t mean that every suburb has its own retro diner hidden in what looks like a normal, modern restaurant,” he says as he sits down across from me. “Most of the ones I’ve been to are still in their original structures. This just looks like it’s supposed to be a tourist attraction for rich guys who want to experience something below their standards without seeming weird.”

I roll my eyes. “Just shut up and try to enjoy yourself. And don’t pull anything. Everyone here knows my family in one way or another.”

“If it isn’t Ivan,” a waitress says as she sets down our menus, proving my point. “Back from college I presume, and you brought a friend!” She smiles warmly at Theo. “What’s your name, hon?”

He gives her his best smile and says, “Teddy.”

“Well, hi, Ted, I’m Carrie.” She holds her hand out for him to shake, but instead he kisses it. “Oh, aren’t you a gentleman,” she says with a giggle.

I cough to get her attention.

“Right, right.” She pulls her notepad out of her apron pocket. “The usual for Ivan, and what can I get for the gentleman?”

“I’ll have what he’s having,” he answers.

“Got it. I’ll have those out for you in a bit.”

I nod and wait for her to walk off before I hiss, “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m being straight,” he says with held back laughter. “C’mon, you can’t tell me not to pull anything and then get jealous because I’m throwing people’s gaydars off.”

“Well you didn’t have to kiss her hand!”

He leans across the table and motions for me to come closer.

“What?” I whisper angrily.

He whispers, “After this I’ll make it up to you, and we can go find an empty parking lot or a motel and—”

“Nope!” I sit back in my seat, shutting my eyes and plugging my ears. I sit like this for a while before I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket with a message.

“I love you. And your face is all red so I hope you’re thinking about my plan ” it reads.

I give him the finger, getting him to laugh. I smile back.

“So how’s the bae?” I ask him, winking at him to let him know it’s a plan.

He winks back and shrugs. “She’s good. Gonna hate the rest of break, though.”

“Really?” I ask. “Why?”

He bits on one of his lip rings. “I don’t like not seeing her on a daily basis I guess.”

“Being separated and missing each other is a really healthy part of building a relationship,” I point out. “It’ll be really good for you two. I know it’s just gonna be stronger when break is over.”

“I just feel like every time I’m away something bad happens to the ones I love,” he mutters.

I nudge his foot. “Nothing bad will happen. And if it does, then it isn’t your fault.”

“I just want to protect you like I couldn’t protect Jamie that time,” he mutters.

I bite on the inside of my cheek. “He doesn’t blame you for that, he blames your dad.”

“I know, but he’s my little brother, and I should have kept him safe.” He looks out the window and after a few moments says, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

I chew on my lip in the silence between us. I know he’s traumatized by it, but I’m not a helpless little kid, and the worst thing that could happen is me getting kicked out of the house. All that would mean is that I’d have to take up living in his vacant apartment until class is back in session.

After a few minutes I lean across the table and whisper, “I’m gonna miss you too. Every last part of you.”

He looks at me through his green bangs, cheeks flushed. “Fuck you.”

“They have a bathroom here. It’s got great acoustics.”

Carrie returns with the food while Theo is still trying to alleviate the redness in his face. “I still don’t know how you can put all of this in your skinny little stomach. You boys enjoy.” The plates are piled high with pancakes, eggs sunny-side up, bacon, and a mountain of hash browns.

He watches her walk away, and when he turns his attention back to me he says, “I’m revoking your innuendo license. Please return your moustache and your eyebrows.”

I spit out some of my hash browns in response to that. “Says the innuendo king,” I retort.

“You’re disgusting,” he says. “I miss the old Ivan, the one that used to be all reserved and nervous and treated my cooking like five-star cuisine.”

“First of all, this isn’t your cooking. Secondly, what can I say? College life has changed me.” I pick up the little jug of maple syrup and start pouring it all over my plate.

“I can’t believe I’m in a relationship with a guy who puts maple syrup on his eggs.”

“Shut up and eat your damn pancakes,” I say around a mouthful of my own. “I don’t want to have to finish yours off too.”

He sighs and starts off with his eggs. “Okay, so what should we do next?”

“I don’t know, this is your tour,” I say. “Honestly this is the best place to be over the winter. Everything else is either boring, indoors, posh, or closed. And I really don’t want to do something we could do anywhere else.”

“So what are you suggesting?” he asks with his mouth full of potatoes.

I swallow before I speak this time. “I’m suggesting that you come visit me over the summer some time and then maybe we can go to this outdoor film festival or maybe a concert series or you could pick me up and we could go to a beach or go visit your family or something.”

“Do you think I can show up to that New Year's party you mentioned earlier?”

I sigh. “As much as I would love it, my dad’s having some big investors come, and he wants to show off his apple pie family to sell his caring for traditional family standards. You,” I say as I gesture at his face, “would probably terrify them.”

“I can get a haircut! I’m pretty sure that if I take most of these piercings out for a couple of hours they won’t close up. I can—”

“It’s not worth it,” I say. “Not to mention I’m kind of growing fond of that stupid hairdo.”

“That’s because it’s rebellious and you’re not,” he says with a smile.

“Teddy, your gay is showing.”

“Fuck,” he groans. “I was doing so good at covering it up! And you know I hate it when you call me that.”

“Still showing,” I say. Suddenly an idea hits me. “Hey, what are you doing after New Year’s?”

“Nothing special. Why?” He’s back to eating his food again.

“Why don’t we meet up somewhere and have a party? No motel rooms though.”

“You, my friend, are the biggest party pooper ever,” he says with all seriousness. “But I like the idea. Anywhere in particular?”

I shrug. “I don’t care much. Somewhere with lots of people and nobody that will care.”

“I’ll figure something out.” He reaches over and dunks a bit of pancake into the pool of syrup on my plate. “In the meantime we should finish up this feast. By the time we’re done I’m gonna have to head back home.”

I laugh and shovel some hash browns into my mouth. “Aye aye, captain!”

xxxxxxxxx

An hour later we’re pulling up across the street from my house, and I don’t want to move on account of my stomachache. “So I’m gonna look up places in between us to go to for our impromptu New Year’s when I get home.”

“I think you better hop on a treadmill once you get home.” I lean across the little aisle and kiss him on the cheek. “Or maybe get some rest.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” he says. “I’ll text you when I make it there so you know I didn’t fall asleep behind the wheel and get myself killed.”

“Great, now I’m the one that’s gonna be freaking out about people getting hurt when I’m not around.”

He laughs a little and pecks me on the lips. “See ya kid. Good luck with the party.”

“Heh, thanks. Bye.” I get out of the car and cross the street to my house, not expecting to see Beth opening the door with a glare.

“Ivan,” she says, her tone stern.

“H-hey, sis,” I say, looking over my shoulder and seeing Theo looking out his window in confusion. I wave him off, and he nods before driving away. “What’s up?”

“Get inside. Now.”

;) (Wink) — Description
The first thing I notice is the sound of the doorbell ringing.

“Ugh, what time is it?” I groan. The doorbell rings again, and I look at my alarm clock to discover that it’s 11:30 in the morning. The bell rings more and more often, almost ceaselessly, as I stumble down the stairs while pulling on a t-shirt and screaming, “I’m coming, damn it!”

“’Morning, beautiful,” Theo says with a wide grin once I open the door. “Hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Sure as fuck you did, I think to myself as he gets his smug self out of the cold. “What on earth are you doing here? I thought you went to visit your family,” I say with a yawn, trying to sound as little annoyed as possible.

He gives me a peck on the cheek. “I got bored.”

“It’s the first day of winter break,” I reply dryly.

“Yeah, but Mom’s at work, and Jamie has school for another week, and I didn’t want to be home alone for most of the day.” He winces as his hat catches on that piercing he got last week. “So I decided I’d come hang out with the bae,” he explains.
“Please refrain from using that word.”

He pouts a little. “C’mon, Ivan. I know you like it.

It’s true, I do, but he interrupted my first good sleep in months, and I really don’t want to be okay with him right now. “It’s a four hour drive to get here from campus,” I point out to him.

“Yeah, I know,” he says with a grin. “It’s six hours from home.”

“It took you six—” I start to yell but bring it down to a whisper, “—six hours to drive here?”

The smirk he gives me makes me want to slap him across the face. “Yeah, and I did it all for you, so you should make me some food. I haven’t eaten since four this morning.”

I roll my eyes and make my way to the kitchen. “You know I can’t cook, remember?”

“A bowl of cereal would be nice.” He leans against the island and busies himself with fixing his hair. One particularly green strand won’t stop sticking up.

I pull some boxes out of a cabinet and walk over to his side. “You want bran flakes or Lucky Charms?”

“Ooh, I haven’t had Lucky Charms since I was eight!” He grabs the box from my hands and starts tearing it open.

“Careful, I think my folks got that for their grandkids.” I laugh a little at his enthusiasm. “And when was that, last year?”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “No, Ivan, more like twelve years ago.”

I take some bowls out of another cabinet and say, “You might be a couple years older than me, but I am definitely the adult in this relationship.”

“Sure you are, grandpa,” he shoots back, holding the box of bran out to me.

“That’s low.”

“That’s life.” He opens the door to the fridge and whistles. “Your house is this huge but you can’t afford a gallon of mi—is that caviar?”

I groan. “Dude, we can grab some food in town before getting some milk.”

“Forget the milk! Do you think your parents would know if I took some of this caviar?”

Why on earth am I dating a guy with a food obsession? “There’s a diner a couple minutes from here if you’d rather go there.”

“But caviar,” he whines.

“That’s probably for the Christmas party. And you know my dad will kill me if there’s any sign of you around here.” I see the bowls of dry cereal sitting on the island. “Let’s just pour the cereal back into the boxes and then I can give you the VIP tour of this place. Sound good?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he says, trudging over to put his head on my shoulder.

I wrap my arms around him gently. “You know I can’t miss you if you’re never gone.”

He returns the hug and nuzzles into my neck, causing me to shiver when one of the cold rings in his lip brushes against my skin. “Yeah,” he whispers, “but I don’t want to have to miss you.” He kisses my cheek again. “You go get dressed, and I’ll go keep the car warm. It’s so fucking cold out this far north.”

I clean up the kitchen and head up to my room to change out of my pajamas. I shove my phone into my pocket after sending Beth a message telling her that I’m going out with a friend and don’t know when I’ll be back home. Hopefully the rest of my siblings won’t be back by then. I quickly put on my shoes and jacket and lock the door behind me as I run out to his car. At least this is more of an adventure than coming home usually is.

xxxxxxxxx

“I don’t think this is a diner.”

“Shut up. We haven’t even gone inside and you’re already judging it.” We pull into a parking space next to a building that looks like an average family restaurant: brown brick walls, windows slightly tinted, striped awnings over every window and door. There’s no real way to tell that it’s a diner unless you’ve been there before, even if not as frequently as I have.

“It’s not even in the same neighborhood,” he says as we get out of the car.

“Well of course not,” I reply. “Not every suburb needs a diner.”

We walk over to the closest door and he holds it open for me. “This looks just like a Denny’s or a Baker’s Square. Those don’t count as diners.”

I smirk as I hold the inner door for him. “Just wait until you get in here.”

“Woah.” He stops in the doorway, taking in the sight of the counter with its shiny red seats and the booths with their chrome tables. I have to nudge him to move inside.

“There’s a jukebox and a dancefloor too, just in case you were curious,” I tell him.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “White picket fence America never ceases to amaze me.”

I walk over to my usual booth and sit down. “You say that as if you didn’t grow up in the burbs.”

“That doesn’t mean that every suburb has its own retro diner hidden in what looks like a normal, modern restaurant,” he says as he sits down across from me. “Most of the ones I’ve been to are still in their original structures. This just looks like it’s supposed to be a tourist attraction for rich guys who want to experience something below their standards without seeming weird.”

I roll my eyes. “Just shut up and try to enjoy yourself. And don’t pull anything. Everyone here knows my family in one way or another.”

“If it isn’t Ivan,” a waitress says as she sets down our menus, proving my point. “Back from college I presume, and you brought a friend!” She smiles warmly at Theo. “What’s your name, hon?”

He gives her his best smile and says, “Teddy.”

“Well, hi, Ted, I’m Carrie.” She holds her hand out for him to shake, but instead he kisses it. “Oh, aren’t you a gentleman,” she says with a giggle.

I cough to get her attention.

“Right, right.” She pulls her notepad out of her apron pocket. “The usual for Ivan, and what can I get for the gentleman?”

“I’ll have what he’s having,” he answers.

“Got it. I’ll have those out for you in a bit.”

I nod and wait for her to walk off before I hiss, “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m being straight,” he says with held back laughter. “C’mon, you can’t tell me not to pull anything and then get jealous because I’m throwing people’s gaydars off.”

“Well you didn’t have to kiss her hand!”

He leans across the table and motions for me to come closer.

“What?” I whisper angrily.

He whispers, “After this I’ll make it up to you, and we can go find an empty parking lot or a motel and—”

“Nope!” I sit back in my seat, shutting my eyes and plugging my ears. I sit like this for a while before I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket with a message.

“I love you. And your face is all red so I hope you’re thinking about my plan ” it reads.

I give him the finger, getting him to laugh. I smile back.

“So how’s the bae?” I ask him, winking at him to let him know it’s a plan.

He winks back and shrugs. “She’s good. Gonna hate the rest of break, though.”

“Really?” I ask. “Why?”

He bits on one of his lip rings. “I don’t like not seeing her on a daily basis I guess.”

“Being separated and missing each other is a really healthy part of building a relationship,” I point out. “It’ll be really good for you two. I know it’s just gonna be stronger when break is over.”

“I just feel like every time I’m away something bad happens to the ones I love,” he mutters.

I nudge his foot. “Nothing bad will happen. And if it does, then it isn’t your fault.”

“I just want to protect you like I couldn’t protect Jamie that time,” he mutters.

I bite on the inside of my cheek. “He doesn’t blame you for that, he blames your dad.”

“I know, but he’s my little brother, and I should have kept him safe.” He looks out the window and after a few moments says, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

I chew on my lip in the silence between us. I know he’s traumatized by it, but I’m not a helpless little kid, and the worst thing that could happen is me getting kicked out of the house. All that would mean is that I’d have to take up living in his vacant apartment until class is back in session.

After a few minutes I lean across the table and whisper, “I’m gonna miss you too. Every last part of you.”

He looks at me through his green bangs, cheeks flushed. “Fuck you.”

“They have a bathroom here. It’s got great acoustics.”

Carrie returns with the food while Theo is still trying to alleviate the redness in his face. “I still don’t know how you can put all of this in your skinny little stomach. You boys enjoy.” The plates are piled high with pancakes, eggs sunny-side up, bacon, and a mountain of hash browns.

He watches her walk away, and when he turns his attention back to me he says, “I’m revoking your innuendo license. Please return your moustache and your eyebrows.”

I spit out some of my hash browns in response to that. “Says the innuendo king,” I retort.

“You’re disgusting,” he says. “I miss the old Ivan, the one that used to be all reserved and nervous and treated my cooking like five-star cuisine.”

“First of all, this isn’t your cooking. Secondly, what can I say? College life has changed me.” I pick up the little jug of maple syrup and start pouring it all over my plate.

“I can’t believe I’m in a relationship with a guy who puts maple syrup on his eggs.”

“Shut up and eat your damn pancakes,” I say around a mouthful of my own. “I don’t want to have to finish yours off too.”

He sighs and starts off with his eggs. “Okay, so what should we do next?”

“I don’t know, this is your tour,” I say. “Honestly this is the best place to be over the winter. Everything else is either boring, indoors, posh, or closed. And I really don’t want to do something we could do anywhere else.”

“So what are you suggesting?” he asks with his mouth full of potatoes.

I swallow before I speak this time. “I’m suggesting that you come visit me over the summer some time and then maybe we can go to this outdoor film festival or maybe a concert series or you could pick me up and we could go to a beach or go visit your family or something.”

“Do you think I can show up to that New Year's party you mentioned earlier?”

I sigh. “As much as I would love it, my dad’s having some big investors come, and he wants to show off his apple pie family to sell his caring for traditional family standards. You,” I say as I gesture at his face, “would probably terrify them.”

“I can get a haircut! I’m pretty sure that if I take most of these piercings out for a couple of hours they won’t close up. I can—”

“It’s not worth it,” I say. “Not to mention I’m kind of growing fond of that stupid hairdo.”

“That’s because it’s rebellious and you’re not,” he says with a smile.

“Teddy, your gay is showing.”

“Fuck,” he groans. “I was doing so good at covering it up! And you know I hate it when you call me that.”

“Still showing,” I say. Suddenly an idea hits me. “Hey, what are you doing after New Year’s?”

“Nothing special. Why?” He’s back to eating his food again.

“Why don’t we meet up somewhere and have a party? No motel rooms though.”

“You, my friend, are the biggest party pooper ever,” he says with all seriousness. “But I like the idea. Anywhere in particular?”

I shrug. “I don’t care much. Somewhere with lots of people and nobody that will care.”

“I’ll figure something out.” He reaches over and dunks a bit of pancake into the pool of syrup on my plate. “In the meantime we should finish up this feast. By the time we’re done I’m gonna have to head back home.”

I laugh and shovel some hash browns into my mouth. “Aye aye, captain!”

xxxxxxxxx

An hour later we’re pulling up across the street from my house, and I don’t want to move on account of my stomachache. “So I’m gonna look up places in between us to go to for our impromptu New Year’s when I get home.”

“I think you better hop on a treadmill once you get home.” I lean across the little aisle and kiss him on the cheek. “Or maybe get some rest.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” he says. “I’ll text you when I make it there so you know I didn’t fall asleep behind the wheel and get myself killed.”

“Great, now I’m the one that’s gonna be freaking out about people getting hurt when I’m not around.”

He laughs a little and pecks me on the lips. “See ya kid. Good luck with the party.”

“Heh, thanks. Bye.” I get out of the car and cross the street to my house, not expecting to see Beth opening the door with a glare.

“Ivan,” she says, her tone stern.

“H-hey, sis,” I say, looking over my shoulder and seeing Theo looking out his window in confusion. I wave him off, and he nods before driving away. “What’s up?”

“Get inside. Now.”