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ChibiAbsol β Free me from these chains
#chains #clawmarks #demon #depressed #furry #heart #innermonster #key #lock #prison #sad #suicidal #vent #wolf
Published: 2018-06-13 01:44:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 1499; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 5
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Hey guys. Its been a long time since I last posted a serious piece of art and this one is a personal one for me. I've been having this inner monster called Agony tell me things like I'm worthless, stupid, and should die since Highschool and I've recently been trying to "talk" with her to get her to stop. But I was thinking that she's probably hated me for so long because I locked her away and tried to ignore her rather than seeking help like therapy.
I've always had a bad habit of bottling up my emotions. But now, I almost feel bad for her, so I drew this.
The picture took me 36 hours of sit down time (roughly 3 weeks in general) and its both traditional and digital with GIMP.
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Comments: 10
Wow, probably your best piece yet! It looks amazing! No wonder it took so long! Great job, it's stunning!Β
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Poor Ag... It looks like both of you suffered a lot from this captivity. ;w;
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Yeah... life has been rough.. but it is getting better. Albiet in baby steps but atleast I can start learning to live and love myself. Neither one of us are gonna be chained by other people's hurtful words or actions ever again.
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* gives both of you a hug* I'm so happy for you!Β
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i want a full story about this! plus a game.Β
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A full story and game about my inner monster and me coping with my own depression? Well.. I have been writing logs recently of me talking with Ag if you wanna check em out. They're more meditation sessions if anything.
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People need to know this. im sorry but that drawing hit me with emotions and im just interested in knowing it from beginning to end.Β
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Hoo boy. There's a lot to get into. Um. Well instead of me going into full detail basically Agony is my subconcious and how I view myself. A lot of the reason she's so hostile towards me is because of what I've been told by my peers in school when I still attended and what my ex husband did to me when he abused me. All these things...
Ag is my self hatred; my longing for wanting to be better but I can't seem to reach the point I want to. Because I didn't know what she really was and thought if I told anyone when I was a teenager that I had a voice in my mind tell me "You're stupid, ugly, and no one loves you", I thought they'd deem me crazy like I had schizophrenia.
So... I trapped her and tried to ignore her words. Hense this picture.Β
But last year... after I finally got the backbone to break up with my abuser of 8 years, she LASHED out at me and full on told me to kill myself because I left the only man whom I ever thought would give me the time of day. She planned out where I should do it; when I should do it.... and how.
But... I'm still alive now because she was wrong. A friend of mine that I had a crush on in the past texted me and talked me out of it AND even talked with her through me. It lifted such a weight off of my chest knowing that he cared as much as he did and he doesn't think I'm crazy. So now we've been dating ever since.
Had my boyfriend not stopped me, I would have died in October of last year.
This folder has everything bar the texts between Ag and my boyfriend that I have writen down about her. Convo 8 is me talking about how I was bullied. I need to write convo 9 cause that talks about what I endured with my ex but I didn't have time last night and I didn't want my roommate getting concerned about me just randomly crying because of reliving my abuse. But it needs to be talked about. I want people to know what happened and what warning signs to look for in an abusive relationship.
chibiabsol.deviantart.com/gallβ¦
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