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chill13 — Questions For Rover
#cowboy #cyborg #hiho #hyperdrive #interview #rover #scifi #sciencefiction #hihohyperdrive #roverfinnigan
Published: 2014-10-29 19:52:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 2086; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 9
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Rover likes to talk, it really is one of his favorite pastimes, so I figured I'd give him a chance. Any questions you have he'll be happy to answer them...although, I can't promise he will do so entirely honestly.>>>Please, no swearing<<<
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What is your favorite food or drink? And what food or drink wouldn't you touch with a ten foot pole?
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Rover: Mmm. That's a toughie. You ever go to Birillian? They got this chili there made of lavender chikti beans, ground gorganbeast meat marinated in Halix brandy for MONTH and is spiced with ground lava beetles. That stuff is spicier than all gitout, I mean it'll burn your face off, but it whips the socks off anything you ever tasted. If safety regulations didn't confine me to one bowl I'd eat a whole pot of that stuff. Course my tongue would never be the same but it'd be worth it!
Well, you know, I ain't that picky. I've got a stomach that'll take just about anything. But there was one time, when I was on the Asteroids of Mod.... I went into the nearest chuck house and asked for whatever the special was. Well, this gal with two noses and a tentacle in her forehead brings me a bowl with a grate on the top and a itty biddy spear. You'll never guess what was inside that bowl. Take a guess! No? Kittens! Live kittens! I ain't funnin. I swear they looked just like Earth kittens, only about yay big *holds up his thumb and forefinger about two inches apart* And they had this kinda sweet smellin' sauce all over 'em. Now I've eaten live things in my time (bugs, fish, the occasional non-sentient rodent) but I ain't about to eat no bowl of kittens lookin' up at me with them big scared eyes!
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I wonder if you could get a bowl of that chili to-go? Then freeze it? Export is probably forbidden, too.
i'm glad that all worked out with the kittens. 
What would you say has been your best business deal yet?
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Rover: Nope. They frisk you at the door for doggie bags.
Was a pretty good deal all around, I reckon.
Well, that there, would have to be how ol' Nelli-Bell got her Jump Drive and her slimy little engineer. But that is one big hunk of story.
(which I will actually tell in story form eventually 
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I can't say I've been to Birillian. Sadly spicy things and me don't have a good relationship. Wonder if you could get the ingredients and have Nana cook it up for you? Knowing the way things work, even the ingredients are probably restricted!
Ooo, I can't blame you about the mini-kittens. I don't think I could eat them either. What'd you do with them? I can't imagine giving them back.
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Rover: Unfortunately you hit the nail on the head, right there. The lava beetles are for local use only. They don't allow 'em exported an' only the locals can cook 'em. It's a cryin' shame.
Course I didn't give 'em back! I bought out their whole stock, five crates full of the little buggers. Five hundred kittens. Well, at first I was kind of snookered. What in the world was I gonna do with five hundred kittens? *chuckles knowingly* Turns out they came in MIGHTY handy. Next planet I stopped at I was supposed to do dealings with this king who don't really like outside tradin'. As it so happened this king had himself one hundred daughters. I brought down one hundred neat little cages with five kittens each, a kitten for each hand. Them little gals had never seen nothing so little and fluffy before and took to 'em right away. Well, old sour-face king was so tickled at havin' all his girls happy at once that he gave me free reign to trade on any part of his planet.
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Is there any place you've visited, where you never ever, ever ever want to go again?
Similarly, is there any place you've visited, where you really, really really want to go again?
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Rover: Heh, there's Seltic two. If I go back there they promised to skin me alive with fire knives and make a quilt outta my hide for the queen's grandmother. Ain't exactly keen on settin' foot there again. Then there's Flatual Prime which smells like a rotting polecat with gingivitis wearing month old socks. Wasn't too fond of that one either.
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Oh gosh, yeah I understand you. Wouldn't wanna go there either.
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Who is your favorite western character?
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Good ol' Roy Rogers! That fellah can sing, ride a horse like nobody's business and he's always in the side of the streight and true! And....he's got an awful sweet brave gal to back him up.......
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Great choice! My favorite is Mika from the Rifleman.
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Hmm... any embarrassing stories to tell?
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Rover: *chuckles* You can't be a space trader without a few embarassin' stories. For instance I was in the Ha'vard negotiation Senate, a whole shmeer of green snobby fellahs with noses on their foreheads and a likin' for manners. Well, I had me just a bit of a cold and when Mr. Grand potentate asked if I respected our contract i--well I just couldn't help myself---i sneezed all over the sacred trading table. I tell you, I had to polish that table for ten days str eight before they'd even talk about tradin' with me again
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Eww...
Well, that was unfortunate...
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Rover: *rubs the back of his neck a bit hesitantly* Yeeeaah. Not exactly the best dickering session in my career. And as it turns out all they wanted to trade was a few pounds of fluffspice, perhaps the most pointless food additive ever invented. I've still got the stuff in the cargo hold.
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Oh. Well that makes it worse...
What's the stuff taste like?
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Rover: *Throws both arms out in a massive shrug* Nothin'! I'm mean litterally. It sucks every tiny morsel of flavor out of your food. I mean, it's a downright offense to good cookin'!
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That... is terrible. And you bought it anyway?
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Rover: Well, I figured it was the gentlemanly thing to do after I mussed up their table and all.
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Ah, yes. The gentlemanly thing to do. Good quality about you, this gentlemanlyness. When you exhibit it, anyway.
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Rover: *his ears turn a bit red and he shuffles his feet* Shucks. I just do my best.
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That's all we can reasonably ask.
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Okay (since it's almost Halloween)- Got any good ghost stories from out there in space, Rover?
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Rover: *waves a hand dismissively* Aw! I don't believe in them things! Although, *gets suddenly serious* there was this one time we was scootin' along and came across this ship, just hangin' in space. No lights no lifesigns. There was a big 'ol chunk taken out of the side. Nobody to claim it, so we...well, I figured we might as well salvage it. Blue, me and the doc head over there in PE suits. It was dark as the inside of a cow in there, we just had hand torches. The minute we set foot on there Little Blue said he was gettin' odd readings, little sparks of energy. I didn't pay much mind. It was a malfunctioning ship. Anyway we started walkin. The corridors kinda curved so you couldn't see maybe ten, twenty feet in front of you. We round a corner and I get my feet caught up in somethin' and hit the floor. It was long and scaly with somethin' green leakin' out one end. It was a tail. The Doc said it had been attatched to someone not three hours ago. As we kept walkin' there were more. We searched the ship and that's all we ever found of the owners. Never found out what happened to them neither. Nothin' in thier logs, no signs of a fight 'cept that big ol hole in the side of the ship. Well, we found a few things to salvage, some crates of tech, some interestin fabric. Took em back to the Nellie-Bell and went on our way. But that wasn't the end of it. *turns away, hiding a sly grin* But I wouldn't want to scare you.
(I don't actually celebrate Halloween, and Rover knows nothing about it, but your story request was intriguing)
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I need to hear the end of this. 
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Rover: well.... if you think you got the stomach for it. Like I said, we went on our way without another thought. And things were just hunky dory 'cept for one thing. Trigger seemed to be downright quirky. He started chewin' on the walls, runnin' in circles and mumbling about chasing something. We thought maybe it was just some sort of liske hormonal thing or somethin'. But then...things started happenin'. At first it was nothin'. Little malfunctions like the doors not opening and the view screen fritzing. Not too concerning. Nellie is an old ship and she's bound to have some setbacks. But when the piloting console exploded, sending Nik to the Doc, we sat up and took notice. Blue said there were little energy spikes all over the ship....the same exact kind he'd seen on that dead ship we'd left behind light years ago. Nana said it was the owner of that direlect, sore at us for messin' with their final resting place, Nike was pretty quick to agree with her. And with the lights flickering and the gravity cutting off I was gettin a might concerned myself. And the thing was Ludge said there weren't actually anything wrong with them systems...they were just not working. And truth of the matter was we were all getting a prickly feeling...like somethin' was there, somethin' watching, something that we couldn't see. Even Blue, Mr. All around practical said he felt it too.
But he was more logical about it than the rest of the crew. He said he felt that tingling only when he was near one of them little energy spikes that seemed to be multiplying like bacteria.
But, really, I wouldn't want to give you nightmares.
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I just love a good spooky story. 
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Well, if you're sure. Little Blue and Ludge were sweatin' over the problem, tryin' to find a way to detect these...well, we still didn't know just what they were. Systems were fritzing everywhere, we couldn't even walk down the corridor without running into a malfunctioning grav panel and floating a bit. We tried everything we could think of. We even tried tapping the translators into the walls, seeing if we could reason with whatever had our ship at it's mercy. Finally we all ended up holed up in the chuck house...the last room with gravity and air. Nik kept reciting a Nikah'ti safety chant while Nana was fretting about us all messing up her kitchen. Poor Trigger was a shakin' muttering mess. Seemed hopeless, trapped by something we couldn't see, much less fight. Blue and Ludge were working on a phasic light, thinking maybe it would help us see our uninvited guests......when the lights went out. The ship went completely black. No hum of the engine, no energy in the walls. Old Nellie was dead and we had nothing but a couple of flashlights. There was something else in the air, though. The hair stood up on the back of my neck, Trigger shoved his face under my arm and Nik wrapped that long tail around my leg. Blue, bein' one to state the obvious whispered 'theyre here. Hundreds of them. He fumbled with that little gadget he'd been fidgeting with and switched it on.
You'll never believe what we saw...
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Yes? YES?! And then what happened, Rover?
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Rover: *brings his voice down to a sinister whisper* glowing figures....everywhere. *bursts out laughing* they were shrews! Phasic shrews. Nothin but little rodents just left of this dimension. They kept walking through the equipment, interrupting energy flow. We'd picked the little buggers up in the tech that we brought over. We didn't need nothing but a modified phase beam to heard em all up. Boy we all felt pretty silly about the whole thing.
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That's a pretty good story. Those shrews sound like a pain, eh?
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Oh yeah, I also wanted to ask, how old are you?
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Rover. *winces a bit than forces a carefree smile* Aw, I don't keep track of thing like that. It's the trail in front of you that counts.
(Truth is he doesn't know. But he isn't about to admit that)
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Aww, well, I don't really keep track of that stuff anymore either.
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Hi Rover. Favorite Color?
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Rover: Green. Forests are green and a good hunk of earth is green.
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(Me
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What's your favorite attachment for your arm? Are there any new ones your planning to get at some point?
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Rover: Well, aside from my hand, that one comes in mighty handy *wink*, lately i'm partial to my sonic catapult and them new pyrobubbles. Just got them recently. As for something new, I'd like to get me one of them massive holo generators, as it is I just got the second hand *chuckle* one that don't do anything bigger than myself.
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Neat! Thanks for the info! ^^
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Oh! I've got one!
How many attachments are in that arm of yours? (The mechanical one, not your real one.)
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Rover: Mm. I don't quite recollect. But I'd say fifty or thereabouts.
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I don't want to ask him something that would hurt him or weird him out
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Well, I can't promise anything when it comes to his reaction, but you can ask anything as long as it's G-PG rated.
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Alright then
To Rover:
So besides that cowboy outfit of yours, do you have anything else to wear?
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