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chugglepuff — Jump
Published: 2009-04-16 21:47:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 1237; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 22
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Description
I could jump—no, not to die—
just to feel the freedom of falling,
of my body kissing the pavement;
just to let my last breath slip away in laughter.
I could totter to the edge, all haughty,
and tell myself I could fly
only for gravity to remind me I’m average—
to feel the universality of broken bones,
of mixing myself with the earth.
I could dive,
magnificent in the sunlight,
and be omniscient for a second,
believe in something more for a second.
I could jump—
no, not to die—
just to know what I was missing;
just to know what it was like to be living.
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Comments: 44
This is probably the most beautiful thing I have read in a long, long time.
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Thanks so much for this comment; it genuinely means a great deal to me that you saw beauty in this piece.
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no need for omniscience to know that you were magnificent while writing this. be it full of clichés or pearls, it is wonderful. anyone wondering what they were "missing" should be made to inhabit the soul of your jumper.
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Thank you very much, it's terribly kind of you to say so! Thanks awfully for the fav, too!
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Thank you very much!
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simple in writing yet has its own effectiveness.
liked:
'just to let my last breath slip away in laughter'
the last part wraps up nicely.
This is a twisted logic of a poem, one that I find myself thinking all the time, but can even be turned into seeking world catastrophe so that the 'little things' can be seen again.
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The freedom of falling... what a great expression. I've jumped off many bridges in my time and you've really hit the nail on the head with how it feels.
I really like this, very original and a great take on things 
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I'll see your "hopeless[ness] at getting back to comments/deviations", and raise you a ridiculously late comment ...
Anywho ...
I like this:
I could jump—
no, not to die—
just to feel the freedom of falling because it's the perfect expression of the way I (and I'm sure lots of people) feel about wanting to do things for the experience, knowing that the end result means it'll never happen (well, not more than once, at least!). Whw I were a lad, I had a fairly regular dream of falling, and landing on something floating in water (my version of a soft landing, perhaps), and I still recall what it felt like to "fall" in my dream. Yes, I love this ...
And the last stanza is poignant in a slightly upbeat way - a pretty melody with sombre lyrics, if you will. By including the "not to die", you create an impression of a "thought journey", letting the reader know that, no, I'm not suicidal, just thinking about how this would feel. It's lovely.
And there are so many well-drawn images here, that all come together in a marvellous whole. This is a particular favourite:
I could dive,
magnificent in the sunlight
So that, for what it's worth, is my opinion
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Damn, I was bluffing.
It's always such a pleasure getting comments from you, I really appreciate them! 
I used to dream of flying mainly... there was one falling dream, but it was into a pool of tuna fish (which at the time I believed to be about a mile long), so it wasn't the loveliest of dreams. I was always scared of falling... (I imagine this has some immense psychological significance, but I have no intention of discovering it. 
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Bluffing ... you make me smile ... 
Well, it's a pleasure to comment your work, so we're both happy! And thanks for the
Falling into tuna ... No it doesn't sound great, I must say ... Slightly (drum-roll please) fishy, if you want my opinion (but if you don't that's ok - just leave it on the front step with the invoice for a full refund). (Umm, your fear of falling probably has the "immense psychological significance" of not wanting your brain (and other organs, for that matter) in inconveniently small pieces and an inconvenient distance from the rest of your body. Just a thought ... Sorry if I've spoilt the surprise ... You know what they say - it's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.)
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Aw, thank you, I will keep it always! *puts hug in carefully labelled matchbox*
Gagggh, fish puns! *flails in horror* I think I will simply have to return that opinion. But the front step - are you sure that's the right plaice?
(Now I hardly think that's likely! It clearly symbolises my need to eat nothing but broccoli. And I don't like fire because of an unfortunate incident in my childhood involving trowels. 
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I know you will take good care of it. However, should it need company, I have significant stock that I am prepared to distribute to deserving and careful persons such as yourself
I know, I know - the fish thing I ... I don;t know what came over me. My counsellor has been helping me work through the worst of it, but every now and then I ... I *breaks down in uncontrollable sobs* Why? Why the fish? And now I've infected you, too - the right plaice! - oh, the humanity! *continues to blubber incoherently*
(I didn't like to mention the trowels, knowing how traumatic all those memories are for you - I'm so pleased that you are enough in control these days to be able to speak of it. It's a long road to recovery, but you've taken the first steps. *catch in voice* I'm so proud ... But broccoli - so many steps forward, so many steps back
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I am also part of the crew that likes it. Rather stupidly I thought of the times I hold my breath (underwater) and then really enjoy breathing again when I come up.
movingon.
It was great. And you still write words! Yay!
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Not rather stupidly at all, it is both relevant and a cool and slightly insane thing to do!
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most welcome! it's good to know
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Tuck, tumble, and roll. A lovely crash; introspective and fine-tuned.
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Thank you very much! And thanks for the fav!
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I'm a sucker for dark and angsty stuff.
Needless to say, I really like this. Seems a little darker than what you usually do, but maybe that's just me.
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Thanks for the comment and fav!
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I really love this. I don't know if it's the sense of idle consideration that gives it an almost daydream like quality, or just the gorgeousness of your expression, but it's really quite exquisite. xx
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Thank you ever so much for the kind comment! And thanks for the fav, as well!
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Your poems always make me feel nostalgic... you capture human emotions quite well. : )
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Thank'ee, me dear!
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although your comment made me chuckle, you do not give yourself justice, as here you have written a wonderful poem with a flowing form and structure, complimented by interesting, imagery.
The poem may have its angst, but it is not an embarrassment, nor is it cliche - trust me, DA has a LOT of cliche stuff written by kids, kept from the eyes of their worried parents, having little more substance than that of the stereotypical 'emo' suicide note.
Yet your work here is the product of an experienced writer, if you mind me naming you as such, and appears as a conscious effort to convey a situation of thought in the mind of the poem's voice, and you've done a very good job
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So sorry for the slow reply! 
Thanks so much for this comment; your opinion means a lot to me, and it's just lovely to know that you see me as an experienced writer... 
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I like the way you set this out. It is very elegant.
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Zo, dis desire to fall mit out hitting der pavement is clearly rooted in your childhood, ja? Your mutter vas alvays sayink "I vill never let you fall" so you are viewing this as being deprived of an enjoyable experience vich manifests itself in dis poem!
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I sink your need to analyse ze vritings of udders in zis snazzy accent is stemmink from a fear off your fadder. You sink, perhaps, zat by bihaving like a dead psychologiszt will prevent anyvone comink after you vith a big pair of scissors, ja?
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It hasn't worked so far! OUCH!
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I actually think this is rather beautiful.
And I quite like the repetition of "second", personally
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Thank you very much! And the double "second" will be staying, I think.
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I like this! The jump could also symbolize any risk physical, emotional or intellectual... or spiritual. There's a little more here than just cliche.
One small thing: second used twice is fine, but why not 'an instant' for variety?
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Thank you very much! I hadn't really thought about other interpretations, but I suppose it is fairly open... Thanks for the fav as well!
I quite like the repetition... it's there a lot in the poem and it just reads right to me. 
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My pleasure!
It is kind of dreamy.
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I like it too, and I've felt at least a little like that. I particularly like the first two lines, and 'I could totter to the edge, all haughty', and the final stanza. It's a very good idea for a poem, and I'm not aware that it's cliche at all, to write about jumping off a building for reasons other than ending one's miserable life.
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Your writing inspires me.
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Oh, thank you ever so much, it's such a compliment to be told you're inspiring... And there's certainly no need to thank me!
I know this is terribly late, but thank you very much for the watch! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, I've been awfully rude not to reply for so long. Your support does mean a lot to me!
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Anytime! 
Anyway... just keep writing.
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Aw, it's awfully kind of you to say that! 
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Aww, thanks!
Want to send a note? Maybe we can get to know each other better.
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