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cislunar-anna — 13 (Intro)
#crime #independent #literature #mystery #shortstory #thriller #writing #writingliterature
Published: 2018-05-30 03:09:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 512; Favourites: 76; Downloads: 0
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Description    The rain didn’t make carrying the trunk any easier. GIRL cursed herself under her breath for choosing such a shitty day to turn herself in. Why couldn’t she have come in last Tuesday when the weather was sunny, warm and she could enjoy her last moments of freedom basking in nature’s light. Instead she was spending her remaining time bent over dragging a trunk to the Amethyst Police Station through mud and water, her shoes soaked all the way through. She looked up, wiping a strand of hair from her eyes and saw the lights indicating her destination.

   GIRL let the trunk fall back onto the sidewalk, splashing her from top to bottom with grimy water. She sank down on top of the trunk with a sigh and reached deep into her inner pocket, hoping that somehow her cigarettes weren’t ruined.

   “Must be my lucky day,” she laughed to herself as she pulled one out of the mostly dry pack and placed it between her lips. With a hand that was surprisingly steady she reached back into her pocket and produced her lighter, which seemed equally dry and lit up her smoke. Inhaling deeply, she withdrew the cigarette, leaning her face up towards the sky and letting the rain wash over her narrow features. Exhaling, she returned back to the scene in front of her, the impending station looming tall overhead.

   She almost laughed again at the thought of how ridiculous she probably looked, sitting in a downpour just outside the view of the local police station, smoking a cigarette on a big old-timey trunk, but the sound got caught before it reached her lips. The task at hand seemed too daunting for humor all of a sudden.

   Back to work.

   GIRL threw her cigarette down into the gutter beneath her feet and stood up slowly, stretching her back before reaching back over and grabbing the corner of the trunk again. She began towards the station at an even pace, never looking back.




   The night attendant sat hunched over his desk, eyes down at his phone, ignoring the main entrance when she entered. It wasn’t until the door swung shut behind her with a bang that he looked up, seemed to remember where he was, and dropped his phone.

   “Can I help you?” he asked in a soft voice, his cool blue eyes clearly assessing the situation. GIRL knew he was staring at the trunk and was more than likely wary of its contents, so she left it at the door as she walked over to the front desk, her footsteps leaving watery patterns across the recently cleaned floor.

   “I sure hope you can,” GIRL replied. “I was looking to speak to Lieutenant Adler, is he available by chance?” From the look on the attendant’s face the obvious was an obvious no.

   “He doesn’t come in for work until tomorrow morning at 6 AM, perhaps our on-duty commander could assist you with something in the interim?” GIRL began to head back over towards the trunk, and upon reaching it, sat back down on top of it and stared back at him lightly.

   “I think this is something best suited for Lieutenant Adler, if you don’t mind. I think he’s going to want to be here for this,” she said softly, her looking at his desk towards his phone. “Would you mind calling him?” The attendant shifted nervously at his desk, glancing back towards the trunk, and GIRL noticed that his hand was slowly shifting back towards his pistol. Whether out of habit or out of concern, she couldn’t decide, but she lifted her hands above her  head regardless.

   “Wh-what’s in the trunk?” the attendant asked, his voice barely registering over a whisper. Apparently she had his interest.

   “Something of great importance to Lieutenant Adler, which is why I would appreciate it if you would phone him and ask him to come down,” GIRL replied, hands still raised over her head. The attendant opened his mouth to seemingly ask an additional question, but after several seconds he closed his mouth and reached over to his phone. As he picked up the receiver, he turned raised his eyes to GIRL and motioned for her to put her arms down. GIRL smiled as her arms dropped comfortably back to her sides and she watched him dial.




   *RING RING RING*

   Ripped from the grasps of a pleasant dream involving many multi-breasted women and a plethora of booze, Jack found himself awake to the ungodly din of his cellphone. Where the hell had he left it?

   Follow the noise, genius. At least his snarky inner commentary was still functioning, apparently it missed the hangover memo. What a bummer.

   *RING RING RING*

   “Fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming,” he growled as he began ripping his sheets apart, attempting to follow the sound, just anything to make it stop. Empty bottles fell from the blankets to the floor with a brain-shattering clatter that instantly ignited a headache behind his right eye, the tell-tale sign that he had drank too much the night previous.

   *RING RING RING*

   His hands flying underneath the blankets, Jack raced to stop the sound, afraid that if he didn’t soon, he would snap. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE IS MY FUCKING PH--” and he found it. Flipping it open as quickly as possible, he didn’t even read the name of the caller before it was at his ear.

   “WHAT COULD YOU WANT AT THIS HOUR,” he nearly yelled into the phone, as he lay back down and covered his eyes with an arm.

   “Lieutenant Adler? I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, but there’s this woman here at the station who says she needs to talk to you urgently.” Everything seemed to stop for a moment as it registered that work was calling him at this hour, which never happens. Not since he went off the self-proclaimed ‘deep end’ had he ever been bothered outside of working hours. Maybe it was something important.

   “Who is she? What does she want?” he asked. There was a brief silence as if the attendant was debating whether to answer or not before replying simply:

   “I really don’t know.”

   “You didn’t ask her what she needed? Or why she needed to speak to me?”

   “Well, she didn’t exactly divulge that information Sir.” Attempting to keep his anger to a minimum as it became increasingly possible this was nothing of his concern, Jack tried to keep the increasing irritation from his voice.

   “Then why couldn’t this wait until the morning? Christ, it’s only what, three in the morning? Can’t she come back later? Or talk to whoever else is on staff?”

   “I tried that, but she won’t talk to anyone but you I guess. And she has this large trunk here, and I guess I just wasn’t sure what to do. She’s very convincing.” Jack sighed to himself.

   “Listen here, Rookie,” Jack called everyone Rookie because he hadn’t bothered to learn the names of his coworkers since 2009. “You tell this woman that it’s too damn early in the morning, and I will be there at six am, as pre-dictated by my schedule.”

   “Hang on,” the attendant’s voice became somewhat muffled as he leaned away from the receiver to pass along his message. There was a brief discussion back and forth between the two, but Jack couldn’t discern a word of it. His headache was increasing as the call progressed, the dull aching growing into a stronger throb. All he wanted to do was hang up the phone and go back to sleep, to rejoin the busty ladies and liquor that he was so rudely pried away from.

   “Uh, Lieutenant?” the attendant’s voice came back onto the line.

   “Make it quick Rookie, I’m hanging up this damn phone,” he grumbled.

   “She did give me her name, says it’s Emily Rothum? Does that mean anything to you?” Jack almost dropped the phone as his eyes shot open, sitting up abruptly in his bed did nothing to help his headache, but it was instinctive.

   “Say that again?”

   “Emily Rothum? Does that name mean anything to you?” the attendant’s voice was growing in curiosity but Jack dismissed any further questions with a quick: “I’ll be right there” and hung up the phone.




   “Well, he’s coming in, Emily,” the attendant said, replacing the receiver on the main base. “He doesn’t sound too happy about it, but he’s never really been much of a morning person.” GIRL smiled, thankful that the attendant hadn’t asked for her identification before calling Adler, because god knows he wouldn’t have liked being lied to, but she didn’t know what else to say to get his attention, and it was now or never.

   “Thank you Mister..” she trailed off, not knowing the attendant’s name. He smiled slightly at the acknowledgement of his station and replied

   “Johnston. Lorenzo Johnston,” and leaned back in his chair. “Please don’t call me Mister. I’ll take Officer, but not Mister.” GIRL laughed lightly, the notes flitting across the room in a melodic manner.

   “Well thank you Officer Johnston. Did Lieutenant Adler state how long he would be?” Lorenzo looked at the clock on the wall, then down at his watch, the back up to the clock before responding.

   “I would say anywhere from 15-45 minutes. He can be really quick unless he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, if you know what I mean,” he replied, casually miming having a drink. GIRL laughed again, and stood up from the trunk.

   “Since I have a few moments, do you mind if I step out front and have a cigarette? I was expecting him to be here already for some reason, so I figured I might as well capitalize on the opportunity.”

   “Sure,” was the reply, and GIRL turned towards the front entrance and pushed on the heavy doors, escaping back into the rain.




   Head still pounding, Jack opened the door to his beat-up SUV, brushing last night’s garbage off of the driver and passenger seats before climbing behind the wheel. He was able to get out of bed and throw himself together within a few minutes of the phone call. Although he was dressed, his head was still spinning.

   Putting the car into reverse, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed up the station again, wanting to be sure that he had heard the name correctly. If so, Emily Rothum had quite some explaining to do.

   “Amethyst Police Station, this is Officer Johnston spe-”

   “Rookie, what was that name again?” Jack cut him off, as he began to ease down his driveway.

   “Rothum, sir. Emily Rothum.” Jack’s heart began to race again, and it seemed to match in time with his pounding head, making him feel ill. Caffeine would be much needed today, it was going to be a long one.

   “Can you put on a fresh pot of coffee for when I get there?”

   “I guess so,” came the reply, although it sounded as if the attendant was slightly put off by the request.

   “I’ll be there in ten. Where’s Emily now?”

   “She’s outside, smoking a cigarette, states she is waiting for you,” came the casual reply.

   “Rookie, don’t let her out of your site, okay? If she’s who she says she is, it’s imperative that I talk to her as soon as I get to the station.”

   “I got it, don’t worry Lieutenant. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

   “You’re probably going to do it anyway, so go ahead.”

   “What is the deal with Emily Rothum? You’ve never come into the office on such short notice this early in the morning before. Should I be worried about something?” Jack took some time to think of his reply before he answered.

   “Rookie, if that woman is who she says she is, she was assumed dead after going missing almost a decade ago.” With that, he hung up.
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Comments: 2

WhatHeSaid [2018-08-28 18:17:16 +0000 UTC]

Wow this flows so naturally, once you start reading the text doesn't let you go until you get to the end (but it's a really nice ride :3) 

It's like you've somehow converted a movie into text form, I can see everything so clearly in my head; the characters, the switches between different locations and especially the dialogue which really shines in this piece.

I'm really sorry I don't have any constructive criticisms, I've only just started writing (you definitely know more than I do about writing ) and honestly I can't actually find anything that leaps out at me as odd or 'bad'

This is (not trying to be hyperbolic or anything) one of the works that I really think encapsulates how it should be done... I'd love to read anything else you produce and I'm definitely giving you a watch and a favourite.

Hope you have a good day and goodluck with anything you do in the future, amazing job ^^ 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

cislunar-anna In reply to WhatHeSaid [2018-08-28 20:02:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!  

I haven't really shared too much of my writing, but I should continue this story and keep posting bits of it on the site. I added you to my watch as well, so that way we can keep an eye on how each other grows as writers!

I appreciate your comment, it made my day as well!

Thank you again. Have a great day too!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0