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Published: 2010-02-19 10:11:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 76402; Favourites: 1165; Downloads: 0
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THANK YOU SO MUCH for the inspiring comments and revelations and laying bare, many of them have left me speechless and several have reduced me to tears. thank you @leaf-lover for giving me a DD on probably the one photograph in my gallery i hate, but i do understand why!for those who have asked, the quote that was given to me by my tutor which led to this picture is:
‘A photograph is both a pseudo-presence and a token of absence. Like a wood fire in a room, photographs – especially those of people, of distant landscapes and faraway cities, of the vanished past – are incitements to reverie*. The sense of the unattainable that can be evoked by photographs feeds directly into the erotic feelings of those for whom desirability is enhanced by distance. The lover’s photograph hidden in a married woman’s wallet, the poster photograph of a rock star tacked up over an adolescents bed, the campaign-button image of a politician’s face pinned on a voter’s coat, the snapshots of a cabin-driver’s children clipped to the visor – all such talismanic uses of photographs express a feeling both sentimental and implicitly magical: the are attempts to contact or lay claim to another reality.’ (Sontag, 1979:16)
EDIT-i'm seriously gobsmacked and touched by the lovely, positive, inspiring comments i'm getting on this image. i certainly wasnt expecting it. thank you so much everyone, it means an awful lot
college self portrait. no editing or post-processing, based on a susan sontag quote.
i nearly chickened out of using this for college at all, i found it very difficult as it has a lot of personal meaning and i find it difficult to post 'warts-and-all' images of myself.
explanation of the image taken from my college posting:
"the neck corset-relates to my eating disorder. i have suffered from bulimia for 15 years, and have recently started therapy for it, the corset represents the purging of food, and the restriction an eating disorder has over your life. i'm hoping that its almost past me, i'm getting there at least.
the invisible face/visible mouth again relating to the bulimia, it is amazing how your life rotates around your mouth and what you put in/take out of it when you have an ED, and i wanted to reflect that.
the taut string on my tummy relates to my body before and after children, i have never been a skinny girl but after having 2 very large children (both over 10 pounds) my body has taken a large toll (which in turn has influenced the eating disorder) and as a larger lady, its the one part of my body i feel isnt in proportion with the rest of me. the string represents the state of my tum before i had children, and how i miss it, but the purple heart is placed over my womb, because i may hate my belly, but i still love it because it gave me two beautiful children.
its a reflection on my body, on my life, mostly past (like in the quote) but also present, 'an incitement to reverie' and remembrance of what things were like before.
its a difficult picture for me, i rarely do full body self portraits but i wanted to, hopefully, do the sontag quote some justice. i dont know if thats been acheived but, even though its been hard, i sorta-kinda like the end result. i'd like it a lot more if it wasnt of me though
i'd really appreciate your feedback on what the image means to you after the explanation, and i am very open about my ED so dont be afraid to ask any questions
please be nice, remember its an un-edited picture so no crit on that side of things thanks!
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Comments: 1379
thenameisplissken In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:01:42 +0000 UTC]
I absolutely love this photograph and the description you have given it. It reminds me so much of a good friend of mine who has had similar life experiences. I plan on sharing it with her.
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elisesatiger [2010-02-21 06:00:45 +0000 UTC]
you are gorgeous. The representation of this photo awed me. This is an amazing work of art. It makes me respect you without knowing you. I'm glad it caught my eye.
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coheedismx In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:58:29 +0000 UTC]
This picture is truly beautiful. I love the symbolism within it.<333
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maffy-pop In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:54:59 +0000 UTC]
almost made me cry.
i dont know. made me think of 'beauty comes in all shapes and sizes'
and somehow, this is really touching to me.
that's what art is about right? striking up an emotion?.. this makes me think. and feel. so good job to you.
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Metalheadbabe50 [2010-02-21 05:48:01 +0000 UTC]
You're beautiful!
Reese's Pieces Seven Up, fuck with Me I'll fuck You up.
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Nobody-said-so In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:40:01 +0000 UTC]
I don't see what's so ugly about this work. I see beauty, I see courage in sharing such an intimate part of yourself with us - absolutely no ugliness to be found. Thank you for this.
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OneHappyStar In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:35:18 +0000 UTC]
You have wonderful courage ;__;
I respect you.
Oh, and I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met and probably will ever meet, inside and out.
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Oukan In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:26:59 +0000 UTC]
I see no ugly at all.
This deviation really touched me to understanding that beauty is more than just what's seen on. It's seen from within.
Awesome pic hun.
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DisenchantedHeart In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:22:45 +0000 UTC]
BRAVO MY DEAR BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is just an amazingly B-E-A-UTIFUL PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely stunning in every way, and the meanings behind every piece, again, BRAVO for your Bravery, and beautifulness!!!! I am very PROUD of you for posting this, as it takes a lot of courage to do so. Very beauitful, and congrats on the DD, this was WELL DESERVED!!!!!
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Kamachu In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:21:54 +0000 UTC]
My god! This is gorgeous, I want this poster-size!
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Yukaida In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:17:32 +0000 UTC]
Wow this is amazing. After reading the description and taking a look at the deviation again, I feel touched.
Such bravery you have, to display this picture.
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grrlmarvel In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:09:03 +0000 UTC]
As another big girl who struggles with weight and eating... thank you. Thank you so much for posting this. I cannot put into words what this makes me feel and it's good. Beautiful. Thank you.
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LunariaSeere In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:06:49 +0000 UTC]
This image actually kind of made me cry. In a good way! It's beautiful and it kind of makes me want to be more confident in myself. An inadvertent thanks is in order. Thank you for helping someone you don't even know.
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Poison-Stripes In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 05:04:46 +0000 UTC]
I completely love it! I declare that you have the biggest set of brass balls on dA!
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Rustfur-Eternal In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:58:42 +0000 UTC]
At the risk of being redundant, you are lovely. <3
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ravenofroses In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:57:27 +0000 UTC]
this piece is lovely, as are you.
i have the feeling i'm going to be thinking on this one for awhile...
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burtonfan85 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:56:15 +0000 UTC]
i dont think that this is ugly i think that you being a photographer is frikin sick and you even got a daily deviation!
good job!
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AkitheFrivolicious In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:49:21 +0000 UTC]
I wish I had your courage.
This is the most beautifully symbolic photograph I've seen in a long while, and I have to say it's been worth the wait.
Tremendous.
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Barkis1 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:47:47 +0000 UTC]
First congratulations on the daily deviation!
You earned it, one thing wrong though-you are not ugly!
You are a BBW, a nice hourglass!
Hold out for true beauty, your day will come!
Very brave also!
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Ko0nafish In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:43:17 +0000 UTC]
I'm self-conscious about my image, but seeing how bravely you put yourself out there and how you're so open to trolls, yet you didn't care, is really inspiring. I guess, after seeing this, that there are more important things to people than just their image, as you've so excellently portrayed
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insaneangel-fernando In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:40:34 +0000 UTC]
we all now that we designers create a fake imagery of beauty to get more audience because sex sells, this a very nice work which gets out of those boundaries and still remains artistic with a sense of symmetry probably to define how serious this is, just love this and congrat you for the DD.
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RoseBeloved In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:38:30 +0000 UTC]
wow, this is absolutely touching. Wonderful job hun <3
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ChibiMitzy In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:38:00 +0000 UTC]
So brave and so beautiful.
This photograph is stunning.
You should never be ashamed of yourself,
I love this shot.
It's gorgeous!
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PirateLotus-Stock In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:25:45 +0000 UTC]
Fantastic It's unedited? It looks great, you got the lighting perfectly ^.^ I'm really glad you explained the meaning behind the objects
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Celechiko In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:20:59 +0000 UTC]
you have so much courage to put this up.
i've had a weight problem since I was young, and its not fun when you try your hardest to lose weight, and no one understands and still makes fun of you.
I went through a time myself that I hardly was able to eat anything, and it was difficult for me. >.<;;
but your children are so lucky to have such a brave and couragous mother like you~ >u< thanks for putting this up~
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KokoPuffChan In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:17:06 +0000 UTC]
you and this picture are so beautiful.
i love how you'd really show yourself to the world of dA like this. a lot of skinny girls even are uncomfortable with themselves to an extent where they won't draw themselves or even give just a picture of their face, let alone some of the bigger people. i am one of them, and i find this so inspirational. especially how you are open to talking about the eating disorder -- it's something a lot of people would never think of. this is amazing. the symbolism and the shot is lovely and beautiful and fantastic, and you've touched me and certainly everyone who has seen this.
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AltoidAddict1517 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:16:15 +0000 UTC]
I too suffered from bulimia for some time. This photograph is inspirational for me.
You are beautiful by the way.
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IknowPPLonCRACK In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:15:41 +0000 UTC]
Love it, love it, love it, love it.
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Splash-123 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:11:39 +0000 UTC]
Wow.
This is a very inspiring picture,
I can't even eplain why. You're just really beautiful, no matter what others might say
You are so brave to be able to put something so personal up for us to see,
It's just such a gorgeous portrait.
... I'm tearing up :')
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Crimson-Grrl In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:11:34 +0000 UTC]
what do you mean ugly? this is stunning and you are to be admired with being so open with yourself, i could never show my body to the world. This is absolutly stunning and you are very beautiful no matter what anyone thinks! im so glad you posted it (so very brave!) and i hope people can learn to relax a little when it comes to judging someone based soley on their apperance ^u^ amazing work and congragulations on having two kids and on earning a daily deviantion! ^__^
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frubafreak17 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:06:18 +0000 UTC]
Seeing this image hits home for me. I think I'm beautiful in the nice dresses I have, but I could never do a shot like this on myself. I'm so ashamed of my stomach.... well, maybe not ashamed, but not comfortable 100%. Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you didn't chicken out
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KraeHi In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 04:05:08 +0000 UTC]
This photograph is very moving for me because of how I feel I can relate to it. I struggle with my own self image constantly, to the extremes of starving myself... But I know I am beautiful, and so are you. Stay strong.
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Jazabel13 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:59:50 +0000 UTC]
i love it,.,..ima big girl too..and..im always getting shit at school and stuff, so..this was really inspirational..
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Kattsume In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:59:46 +0000 UTC]
Thats very amazing! your a very brave woman to post something like this up!
i really love all the meaning everyting has for you.
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Tainted-Petals In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:58:59 +0000 UTC]
I really like this piece. I will be honest and was shocked that DA mods put this as a DD (not because I dislike it, but because they seemed stuck on the super skinny is 'beauty' theory and I've not ever seen a plus size image as a DD, and by plus size, I mean what...size 5? Ugh!)
First off, your tats? Brilliant and I can't stop staring at them!
The idea's of what led you to couple the material into this picture for emotional value is really ingenious!
Your kids are lucky to have such a courageous mother, and I hope they will know the true beauty of this world with such a wonderful teacher.
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Gatobob [2010-02-21 03:57:49 +0000 UTC]
Someday the world will be good enough and fair enough that everybody will walk free from undeserved hate :>
For now though, please imagine that there's a ton of people, and the number is growing, that know the truth; every person on earth deserves love and respect regardless of what they look like or how they live. It's true!
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TheGreenestRose In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:57:10 +0000 UTC]
You're probably sick of the load of comments but I couldn't help myself.
Your bravery and self-confidence now shows me I can be self-confident about who I am. And apparently others feel this way too. Not only did the picture and your author's comments show this, but your responses to negative feedback show it as well. So thank you for that!
The picture is beautiful in more ways than one. And quite frankly, if a mature tag was on this, I wouldn't have bothered to look at it(Not to mention a mature tag wouldn't make sense for something like this!)
It's funny seeing how for every one negative comment you have, there's like fifty more positive ones. Shows you who you shouldn't pay mind to.
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to TheGreenestRose [2010-02-21 11:24:19 +0000 UTC]
i dont pay any attention to the negativity, i myself dislike the photograph so its highly ironic!
and i've been on dA for nearly 8 years, i've always wanted a series of heated discussions on one of my pictures, i'm well happy!
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TheGreenestRose In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-21 12:05:43 +0000 UTC]
An artist that doesn't like the piece she got a DD on, hehe. Better than being big-headed about the piece like some people could be.
Glad you finally got those heated discussions! You should be proud. :'D
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to TheGreenestRose [2010-02-21 12:10:03 +0000 UTC]
i only posted it because i felt i had, for once, create something that meant something, if you know what i mean? i'm usually a 'hurhurhurrr that looks cool!' kind of photographer! i was expecting a few polite comments from my friends, maybe the odd negative, nothing like this!
and i'm so proud :')
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TheGreenestRose In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-21 12:32:41 +0000 UTC]
I know what you mean. And you've definitely achieved posting a meaningful photo(I should try that sometime. HarHarHar.) The feedback was pretty overwhelming, I can imagine. Expecting something small and bam - You've got thousands of people oohing and awwing over you. x'D
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to TheGreenestRose [2010-02-21 12:36:59 +0000 UTC]
i know, very strange indeed! thanks!
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Rainbow-Potatoe In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:52:57 +0000 UTC]
I could never do something like this. I really, truly admiring you for being so string and courageous c:
You know, in other countries (or times) a body like that would be considered extremely desirable, since a little fluff represents wealth (able to eat) and fertility (especially wide hips) I think they're really onto something.
Not to mention, I bet you're very huggable C: Definitely a favorite.
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twilight-woods In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:50:35 +0000 UTC]
First of all, I think it's wonderful when you can reveal yourself completely and say, "Here I am."
I liked the title of this photo because to me, what would be called ugly by some is real beauty to everyone else. This is a great photo.
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YouGottaBeJoking In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:47:49 +0000 UTC]
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't see anything ugly here. -Hugs!-
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DessyDesu In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:46:08 +0000 UTC]
This is a powerful portrait that speaks to the heart.
I'm very emotional, so I almost cried after reading the description.
Specifically on the part concerning your children.
The purple heart is magnificent; I am very glad that I decided to view this. It's an amazing photo.
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Miyoko-Kitahoshi In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 03:45:11 +0000 UTC]
sorry, a little more to say-
i just am in admeration of you and your symbolisim-the ed, and the heart for the womb- what you say is so true, and your feelings i can relate to even more than i initialy thought( yes, i wrote the above message befor reading what you wrote-only because my adhd makes it hard to recall quick thoughts, so i had to write as fast as possible my first reactions- then i found i had more to read and then type!)
ive only brought one child into the world, and my skin type, though he was small, refused to stretch back- the stretchmarks are hideous to me- yet im proud to have them, as proof of doing one of the most miraculous creative gifts in the world.
the ed- ive always been big, but in the last year, ive slipped in to binging and also bulimia- the later was short lived(my husband barged in on me, and that was the last time i did- still, i fantasise on doing it everyday just the same.), but the binging has pursued reguardless. ive suffered from low self esteem and major depression for most of my life, and has only grown worse in the past 5 years. though im on medication, and it does certainly help, it is still a struggle nontheless everday to do the right things and not bear an extreem hatred for myself. my husband, who is my best fried, is a solid rock for me, my child is my drive to be better.- sorry to go all out on this, just so much was pulled out of me through your image and message.im a type-aholic, so please forgive the length !
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to Miyoko-Kitahoshi [2010-02-22 08:30:26 +0000 UTC]
keep going, keep going!! dont ever give up, please keep seeking help and talking to people about your feelings, otherwise you'll end up with it controlling your life like it has mine. i'm terrified that my ED will rub off on my daughter no matter how hard i keep it a secret, its one of the reasons i want to get well and i want to lose weight to a healthy range. if you ever need a chat, i'm always here
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