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Published: 2010-02-19 10:11:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 76398; Favourites: 1165; Downloads: 0
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THANK YOU SO MUCH for the inspiring comments and revelations and laying bare, many of them have left me speechless and several have reduced me to tears. thank you @leaf-lover for giving me a DD on probably the one photograph in my gallery i hate, but i do understand why!for those who have asked, the quote that was given to me by my tutor which led to this picture is:
‘A photograph is both a pseudo-presence and a token of absence. Like a wood fire in a room, photographs – especially those of people, of distant landscapes and faraway cities, of the vanished past – are incitements to reverie*. The sense of the unattainable that can be evoked by photographs feeds directly into the erotic feelings of those for whom desirability is enhanced by distance. The lover’s photograph hidden in a married woman’s wallet, the poster photograph of a rock star tacked up over an adolescents bed, the campaign-button image of a politician’s face pinned on a voter’s coat, the snapshots of a cabin-driver’s children clipped to the visor – all such talismanic uses of photographs express a feeling both sentimental and implicitly magical: the are attempts to contact or lay claim to another reality.’ (Sontag, 1979:16)
EDIT-i'm seriously gobsmacked and touched by the lovely, positive, inspiring comments i'm getting on this image. i certainly wasnt expecting it. thank you so much everyone, it means an awful lot
college self portrait. no editing or post-processing, based on a susan sontag quote.
i nearly chickened out of using this for college at all, i found it very difficult as it has a lot of personal meaning and i find it difficult to post 'warts-and-all' images of myself.
explanation of the image taken from my college posting:
"the neck corset-relates to my eating disorder. i have suffered from bulimia for 15 years, and have recently started therapy for it, the corset represents the purging of food, and the restriction an eating disorder has over your life. i'm hoping that its almost past me, i'm getting there at least.
the invisible face/visible mouth again relating to the bulimia, it is amazing how your life rotates around your mouth and what you put in/take out of it when you have an ED, and i wanted to reflect that.
the taut string on my tummy relates to my body before and after children, i have never been a skinny girl but after having 2 very large children (both over 10 pounds) my body has taken a large toll (which in turn has influenced the eating disorder) and as a larger lady, its the one part of my body i feel isnt in proportion with the rest of me. the string represents the state of my tum before i had children, and how i miss it, but the purple heart is placed over my womb, because i may hate my belly, but i still love it because it gave me two beautiful children.
its a reflection on my body, on my life, mostly past (like in the quote) but also present, 'an incitement to reverie' and remembrance of what things were like before.
its a difficult picture for me, i rarely do full body self portraits but i wanted to, hopefully, do the sontag quote some justice. i dont know if thats been acheived but, even though its been hard, i sorta-kinda like the end result. i'd like it a lot more if it wasnt of me though
i'd really appreciate your feedback on what the image means to you after the explanation, and i am very open about my ED so dont be afraid to ask any questions
please be nice, remember its an un-edited picture so no crit on that side of things thanks!
Related content
Comments: 1379
Sun-like-Rain In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 20:49:16 +0000 UTC]
I have seen many photographs,
and i usually skim over the majority of those- because i feel that someone can take an awful picture of an hourglass model and still get a ton of hits, just because the girl was leaning down with a skimpy top and not because either were talented- but merely "blessed" with a widely sought out figure, and the other with a camera at a good angle.
this picture is bold
it is you and your fears and your scars and things many people would consider ugly but we all think you are beautiful and strong for having the courage to do something so daring but meaningful...
sure, it would be nice to have a body that would turn heads.but when you do something like this...
and show who you really are
and be so supported by people who only know you through this one photo.
i'm envious, and i wish i had half the heart you do, than be some glowing, 32-27-36 superstar who's only beauty lies in her looks...
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Dealein [2010-02-21 20:41:18 +0000 UTC]
Really beautiful picture. Very inspiring. Thank you
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Otacon144 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 16:56:47 +0000 UTC]
It takes a lot of courage to bare your soul like that before millions of strangers.
I respect you very much.
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matrixie [2010-02-21 13:22:37 +0000 UTC]
You are beautiful. You are beautiful and brave and inspirational. You are a real woman. <3
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PastryPhotography In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 13:17:34 +0000 UTC]
This picture, and the description make me well up with tears. It's so beautiful. This is by far one of my favourite photos.
The beauty and meaning of this photo just cannot be put into words.
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tinalou In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 13:13:00 +0000 UTC]
Had to comment on this it is amazing I would never have the guts to pose for anything like this and you are a true lady for doing so. don't get me wrong my body is a map of my kids and i love it but would never be able to pull this off thank you x
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Rebel-NiXx In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 12:25:17 +0000 UTC]
What a fantastic image! It's very well thought out and completely beautiful.
Love your work, keep it up x
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LoveliDesigns In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 11:52:40 +0000 UTC]
I am so amazed at this image, and your courage. After I had my daughter 9 years ago, the marks left on my body have been a source of shame and self hatred. You and others like you make me see that we are all beautiful BECAUSE of life's scars, not in spite of them.
Thank you so much for posting this
xx
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to LoveliDesigns [2010-02-21 12:12:19 +0000 UTC]
my eldest is nearly 8 and i've never recovered from that pregnancy, and my 'little' boy did nothing to help that-he was nearly 11lb you are beautiful!
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obliviousxparanoia In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 08:56:30 +0000 UTC]
i understand.
and you are beautiful.
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to obliviousxparanoia [2010-02-21 12:12:31 +0000 UTC]
so are you!
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obliviousxparanoia In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-22 05:37:29 +0000 UTC]
aw, thankyou .
it's nice to hear that, especially today.
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SparkzofHope In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 08:12:28 +0000 UTC]
I am at a lost for words...but this is a very powerful photograph and your words in the artist's comment makes it even more so.
Congrats on the DD.
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to SparkzofHope [2010-02-21 12:13:57 +0000 UTC]
thank you so much
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SparkzofHope In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-22 03:36:30 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome! Plus, you deserve it. :3
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Chris-Flanagan In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 08:07:18 +0000 UTC]
I'm a soldier in Afghanistan...it's people like you that replenish my faith in humanity. Beautiful!
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to Chris-Flanagan [2010-02-21 12:13:23 +0000 UTC]
oh my! thank you so much for your comment!
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Chris-Flanagan In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-23 08:59:10 +0000 UTC]
And I meant it. Have a wonderful day!
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PaladinArtea In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 08:01:08 +0000 UTC]
the courage you showed in posting this along with your story is very admirable.
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Saint-Rye In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-02-21 11:10:02 +0000 UTC]
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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rainbowonfire In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:47:34 +0000 UTC]
It's so beautiful. . .
Looking at this makes me have more confidence in my body because you have confidence in yours. Cause through it all, we are all beautiful. . .
Thank you, for being you :>
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LindaJaneThomas In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:39:13 +0000 UTC]
I'm so happy that you got a dd for this.
It is very touching for so many personal reasons (the same as so many others it appears.)
Very eloquent and expressive.
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Selladorra In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:37:19 +0000 UTC]
I almost wanted to cry when I read what you wrote in the comment box.
"the string represents the state of my tum before i had children, and how i miss it, but the purple heart is placed over my womb, because i may hate my belly, but i still love it because it gave me two beautiful children." was absolutely beautiful.
You are rather inspiring, in a way
Keep being beautiful!
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Martin-Zombicide In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:34:59 +0000 UTC]
This is an amazing photo.
Just finished reading the entire description, explanation really. And to me this photo just displays courage, and could easily provide the "guts" for others to come out of their shell and either accept they may have a problem, or just begin to believe in themselves more. I'm only 17 years old, but this picture is a huge inspiration to me. I've always hidden a lot of things about myself, so I thank you for this. Also, just like many others have previously posted, this is not an ugly picture in any way. Its beautiful in both visuals and in meaning. I'll be favorit'ing this.
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Kitten-Vixen In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:24:56 +0000 UTC]
Ugly? no, of course not. ^^ Besides, true beauty is not in flesh but in soul. And from what I've seen you seem to be a very kind lady. Also, I'm sure you have a really pretty face. ^^
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GuardianKitsune In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:18:49 +0000 UTC]
I think this is one of the best deserved DD's out there,very inspirational to all, congrats!
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S-G-AD In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:17:01 +0000 UTC]
the truth is were taught to see a certain body shape as beautiful but if we look around everyone is beautiful in they're own way... anyone that thinks everyone in the world should and could be a size 8 if they put the effort in is deluding themselves.. beauty is more then how much you weigh.
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bonniekatewolf In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:13:53 +0000 UTC]
This is stunning.
Absolutely brilliant work.
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punkcris In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:09:32 +0000 UTC]
This is breathtaking! You did a wonderful job
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sheimasaki In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:08:31 +0000 UTC]
I agree with the critic. This work is very gutsy. To be able to show something like this is a definite display of bravery, yet...the face of the figure has been purposefully cropped out?
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ClickClickBangUK In reply to sheimasaki [2010-02-21 11:19:57 +0000 UTC]
the face has been cropped out because i wanted the emphasis on the mouth, to further emphasise the bulima, as described in the description
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Emerald-Depths In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:08:00 +0000 UTC]
I absolutely adore you.
To have the courage to post your story and the photograph to go with it, I just want to worship the ground you walk on. You have a very strong spirit. And because of that, I think you will get over your ED quicker than most people. I wish you the best of luck for your future.
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justjukka In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 07:02:20 +0000 UTC]
People need to closely examine their definition of ugly. Someone who is simply overweight does is not automatically ugly.
If they are overweight and lash out, blame the world, and cut people down for accomplishments they, themselves, are preventing themselves from achieving, then they might earn the title (encountered someone like that in high school).
People who have had trouble and struggle through the tough stuff to improve themselves cannot be ugly. I have several friends who are facing the same struggle, and whatever they think of themselves, they are the most wonderful people I have ever met. I'm sure you're wonderful, too.
I wouldn't have the chutzpah to post a picture of myself like this. Good for you!
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heathfiedler [2010-02-21 06:45:57 +0000 UTC]
Be heavy guy i know the feeling and the numbing feeling when it just wont go away. I guess in a lot of ways i expect it to go away over night and i know that's not the case. Im 5'7" an 330 bls i think i discuss my self when i see myself nude. I have an eating problem to and dont always exercise as i should.. I just have to get it in my head that it wont come off over night and i just have to work at it.
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nahhhh In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:42:07 +0000 UTC]
this is a brilliant photo
personally i think you are amazing..
your attitude and resiliance is inspirational
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GlitterNarcotic In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:41:20 +0000 UTC]
you're gorgeous.
a gorgeous person,
with a gorgeous body.
don't forget that.
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ame-kami In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:34:10 +0000 UTC]
the meaning behind that picture is AMAZING D: it's truly an inspiration to everyone that is uncomfortable with their body! you have so much courage for everyone here on DA
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Emoria In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:32:44 +0000 UTC]
I wish I was a strong as you. ;u;
Thank you for this~ It's inspiring.
I have a close friend with bulimia.
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shinkamalei In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:28:15 +0000 UTC]
this picture brought my eyes to tears.
right now i am struggling to maintain my weight nad get it to a healthy spot since i am obese.
i havent been at a healthy weight since 6th grade.
and this picture.. its background.
its beautiful.
and it really make me think about all the things behind my weight and what has happened on my road to get there.
you truly have a courage i wish i had.
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FortuneCookieWisdom In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:27:59 +0000 UTC]
Fucking LOVE it. You rock.
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knomadd In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:19:43 +0000 UTC]
Everyone has blemishes. Few have the courage to let them show. Your beauty is clear here, but even more so by the courage you have shown here. This message you have given here is brilliant and wonderful!
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tacomango In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:18:21 +0000 UTC]
you are beautiful. inside and out.
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piratekit In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:11:58 +0000 UTC]
This is a very, very beautiful photo. The explanation behind the photo just adds more to it, and it's wonderful. I wish I had your courage, I really do. I have not had any children yet(and due to an illness I may never have any children) But my body is in a somewhat similar shape(due to multiple illness' that have made me put on a lot of weight)
To be honest, I hate my body. It feels like I am not in my body. But as though I am in someone elses' body. I just feel uncomfortable and disgusted with myself. Like I'm not good enough for stuff because of how my body is.
But, this photo and the fact that you posted it made me smile and the first thing I thought was 'She's beautiful' and it's true. The comments you have gotten thus far(from what I read to page 10 XD) Have only been positive and that made me happy too.
Thank you for posting this. For having courage many of us lack. Thanks again
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twistedcortex In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:10:57 +0000 UTC]
I hate to break it to you, but that's not ugly: THAT'S SEXY!!!
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mayouh101 In reply to ??? [2010-02-21 06:04:40 +0000 UTC]
Ugly? Certainly it's a no! Beautiful, this shows true beauty. Your love for your children and your love for yourself shows in this picture. I have no idea why you're saying you're ugly.
For me, you're one of the most beautiful people I know if you have the courage to post this amazing picture here on deviantART.
Incredible, not many people do this anymore. Thanks for your contribution with this image!
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KitsuneRedWolf [2010-02-21 06:02:24 +0000 UTC]
*Shakes head* beauty does not escape you, you embody it. I am very touched by this, and I hope you come to terms with your demons because someone like you as no time for those kinds of evils. You are very brave, I could never do something like this. Don't let anything like a disorder defeat you because you have courage, and you can overcome anything if you let that courage guide you. Like many said before me you are an amazing person inside and out, and I think the most beautiful thing about you is your flaws and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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