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Published: 2006-05-18 19:39:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 157; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 5
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Description
Sugar – nothing’s left,And something’s replaced the sweet nothings
With these sour thoughts of everything
That reminds me of you.
I spread the cds over the floor,
Recoiling at the truth of ‘the despair factor’
And slowly sinking to the floor.
I hate to say it but we aren’t cute anymore,
As the heart strings tear and rip the fake smile
From my now screaming face,
Can’t you hear the silent cries of ‘I love you’?
The floor doesn’t feel same anymore
As the ceiling collapses in.
But with you I wasn’t scared
Of the swords and the daggers
The crying out of the lonely souls
As we skimmed the underworld
simply to make our happiness brighter
But the darkness has possessed your eyes now
And you don’t look so happy anymore
And you can’t pick me up as I sink into the floor.
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Comments: 14
rastill [2006-06-15 16:44:00 +0000 UTC]
great emotional content, I can feel the despair and loss. I'm no nazi for mesure, but I had a hard time getting into the flow or pulse of this poem. Excellent imagery and very good word choice I think the line "but the darkness has possessed your eyes now" was the most stirring for me..probably cause I have seen it too many times
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clinicallybeyondhelp In reply to rastill [2006-06-15 17:33:03 +0000 UTC]
i really have to go back over all my poetry and look into the rhythm. but thank you for your comments
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slipstreamtactics [2006-05-23 16:58:54 +0000 UTC]
Interrrrrrresting, Love the visuals! Reminds me of a free prose sonnet ( trust me, that is a good thing ).
Anywho guess who is about to recive a new fav!
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clinicallybeyondhelp In reply to slipstreamtactics [2006-05-24 19:53:29 +0000 UTC]
awh. thanks so much <3
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slipstreamtactics In reply to clinicallybeyondhelp [2006-05-24 20:36:41 +0000 UTC]
HELL YAH! About writers sticking together! I know its not elequent, but what the hell! I passed the latest battery of collage courses! Just found out!
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clinicallybeyondhelp In reply to slipstreamtactics [2006-05-25 16:33:52 +0000 UTC]
that's awesome. and i'm glad you agree xx
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heavenzchild [2006-05-22 12:05:39 +0000 UTC]
wow, im not sure what i think of it. It's so ....heart felt, and honest. I love that you write with so much "heart", you really put into words the circumstances of others who could not.
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clinicallybeyondhelp In reply to heavenzchild [2006-05-22 17:47:23 +0000 UTC]
thank you <3
your comments mean a lot to me
x
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thegreatmizuti [2006-05-19 20:48:48 +0000 UTC]
simpley poetic perfection, the imagery is lovely u do urself proud with this one fave
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clinicallybeyondhelp In reply to thegreatmizuti [2006-05-20 11:21:13 +0000 UTC]
<3 thanks kid.
x
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