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cluedog β The Date Page Seven
Published: 2014-01-04 14:27:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 21207; Favourites: 55; Downloads: 271
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Comments: 28
Incredibly well doneβ¦I can't wait to see this comic in Heavy Metal!
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Good luck for when you send this off, it's a great story. I have really enjoyed it! Can't wait to see the last page.Β
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Thanks, Tony!Β It's been a pleasure to draw.Β One more page left and I'll be able to send this to "Heavy Metal".
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Ahhh. You're doing that open submission thing?
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I am.Β If they use it, I know it can take years before it ever shows up but this has been a goal of mine for a long time.Β I'll have to see what happens.
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Ohh, dear. You foolish old-man-person. You got her imprinted on you when she belongs to someone else? And you completed her the same day the client was coming to pick her up??
I couldn't help but notice that in the second-last panel, the money-man is pointing with his right hand, and in the last, he is pointing with his left. What reason did he have to change hands? He was also pointing (again, with the other hand) in panel 6, but he probably had to change hands when he put down his cane. Then again, I don't know why he'd need to point more than once anyway. ....Wait, where did that cane even come from? He only has it for one panel.
Also, how is the perspective in panel six possible? You seem to have cheated rather a bit here to have the two in the shot and still give a good look at Glasses McGee.
And I'm not sure what's goin' on with panel 5. From the perspective in the last three panels, it seems that the Top Hat Kingpin is standing on a balcony or something a storey or two above them, whereas panel 5 seems to have him only marginally higher than them. I'm not sure what to make of the black space behind his head, and the window from the first four panels seems to have disappeared. Unless it is that black thing, and it's just moved or something. =S
Cluedog, I say this as a friend - at least, I hope I can consider us friends. Well, probably more like acquaintances (I would use your real name as you seem to prefer doing in these comments, but I'm a creature of order and I instinctually want to use the name that hasn't changed). But although your art - backgrounds (well, mostly), details, expressions, character design - is all great, I think you need to work on your comic technique. Since you were hoping to get this published, right?
Sorry if this seems harsh or if I'm misjudging something.
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Actually, there's a lot of legitimacy to the criticisms you've laid out.Β Some may be addressable at this point.Β I'll have to see what I can do.
When drawing panel 6, I realized there was quite some distance between the rich dude and the old guy (man, I need to come up with some names for these people).Β I purposely forced the perspective, so you could see that he's addressing the girl and the old man and that they clearly see him.Β It's inaccurate, true, but sometimes I think artists and filmmakers can cheat a little to get a point across more clearly.Β At least, I hope we can.Β
Anyhoo, thanks for the critique.Β Β It helps keep me on my toes. I've said this many times but I don't wish to be the artistic equivalent of the emperor with no clothes.
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Oh good.
I'm going to take this as permission to rip holes in everything you do. >=B
Metaphorically.
With the best intentions. Of course.
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This seems like it could be autobiographical in a figurative sense
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You're absolutely right.Β
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Always been a fan. This piece is one of the reasons why.
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She was commissioned by that man but the creator sees her as more than just a product
CRIES!!
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ITS HIS OPEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You've got it exactly.Β
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So many feels, no dialogue and yet so much story!
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He's having second thoughts about selling her...?
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The next page will reveal all.
By the way, I should have your shifter pic done today or tomorrow.
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I can't wait to see what happens!
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Expressions of their faces are priceless.
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Uh oh, the Monopoly man always ruins everything. Β
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