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Description

   When I think of my own inner struggle, it's less of a matter of mind versus heart and more so an issue of mouth versus stomach. No, that's not a fat joke. It's more so a comparison of my own wants in relation to the limitations or needs I am faced with. A mouth exists to chew, taste, process what it's given into miniscule particles that can be dealt with by some other ambiguous body part. The stomach, however, is that secondary tributary to this process the mouth fails to acknowledge. No matter how much the mouth may want to devour, to taste, to feel, to-to experience; the stomach will always have to deal with the aftermath. And, as it would appear, a stomach has restrictions. Ideally it will take in food until it is full, move that food to the digestive tract, and eagerly await its new fodder after it has been emptied of its load. (I'm a master of anatomy, I know.) But when the wants of the mouth become out of control, the stomach will overflow. It will be given too much work and, in the quaintest manner I can conjure, will-ahem-orally dispose of it.

   Now, if you've followed the metaphor up until this point, perhaps you can understand where I'm coming from. For those of you now under the impression I am a binge-crazy lunatic, allow me to explain. I possess these insurmountable wants for, everything. My heart beat runs at the speed of sound just contemplating the vast amount of possibilities reality offers us, and near bursts at the thought of that which does not yet exist. Wants bleed out of me like an overstocked soft serve machine and I can't help but feel this insatiable force pulling me into situations that conscious thought would undoubtedly disapprove of. It's this consciousness, this controlled thought, the stomach of my actions, that keeps my organs inside my skin and my body functioning at normal capacity. As a human (fourth dimensionally detached and pretentious as it sounds) I have needs. Not only dietary and bladder impulses like eating, breathing, and disposing of waste every once in a while; but social and logical ones as well. Pay for that ice cream with American currency. Clean off that wound. Sleep in a bed. There's an unfathomable part of me that wants to write on the walls and wear tacos like a hat that this grounded level of consciousness, this body, restricts; a power equal to that of my imagination that distracts from the absurdities I would accomplish without common sense. The relationship between the two is a struggle: both for me to assess and sometimes in its entirety.

What I mean to say is, need takes the form of somewhat of a level-headed adult: chastising want for its irresponsibility in an effort to preserve its safety. But, no… that's not right. Perhaps it's instead an older brother-younger brother sort of thing, a means of protection that is up for debate as neither power has any definite authority. The decision processes of both are generally angled in favor of the satisfaction of another; though at time sibling rivalry or sentiment will cause issues for the necessary bond of their relationship. For instance, some instances a need for safety will forbid the want to climb a tree as a precautionary measure. However, on occasion, it will allow the wish to be fulfilled as it will produce happiness and fulfillment. In others, want will suffocate its wish to rewind a clock to Hawaiian time in an effort to please the need for order, and in some instances it will selfishly do so to once more feel happiness and fulfillment.

   This draws forth even more speculation from the 'younger brother' nature of want. The more scenarios such as these are dissected and analyzed, the more apparent it becomes that want is a matter of emotion and need a representation of, health and welfare? Perhaps? The word itself escapes me. This nature of feeling encompasses an even greater struggle of humanity as a whole, outward of my self. It's the unattainable goal of outlasting the body, freeing oneself from the universe and reaching divine status! These two feuding parts of existence are just alternative answers to that all-encompassing question 'is my life of any value'? Want answers yes, the world is for you. Be happy, embrace the gifts you are present, receive the emotions you deserve and experience them in the entirety! Need is the 'no' of existence. It states you are no different from the grass under your feet or the oxygen in the air. You are chained to the earth as much as any other single organism or non-sentient being one can contemplate and there is no way to escape that fact. Too much of either answer is unhealthy for the spirit. Wholeheartedly believing you are deserving of all your wishes or unworthy or what life presents you is entirely ignorant. What makes you or any person worth anything, anything at all, is this debate. The knowledge that you can be neither divine nor unfeeling, neither entirely healthy nor entirely happy, that the universe offers you both everything and nothing at all takes life to a higher plane! Life can't be any one answer; it has to be a conclusion. A thought out idea nourished with the contributions of beings other-worldly and physical that encompasses an answer to not one, but all questions. As that goal is near impossible to reach as long as one is still living and in each second being exposed to new cynicisms and curiosities, these two sides of oneself will never reach equilibrium. Because, in every instance one might encounter, there will be no single concept that is more important. The pertinence of want versus need fluctuates with each circumstance. That final solution to their disputes can only be realized at the end of it all, when one can reflect on their history of feud.

   Perhaps it is vain of me to extend my own inner struggle into the rest of humanity or even the universe, but one must admit we have a lot in common. I mean, this morning I woke up. I was on planet Earth. Earth was revolving the sun. The sun was suspended in the Milky Way galaxy. The universe was continually expanding, and both philosophers and scientist were wondering why this is so. I imagine your day began similarly to mine, unless you have suddenly stopped existing for any period of time. If the latter is true, I would love to learn how. That sounds like quite an interesting experience if I do say so myself, bravo for having accomplished such a feat. But I digress.  Things are getting rather irrelevant, here. As much as I want to continue this scintillating conversation on the present state of the universe, the need to complete this thought process is far more daunting. Even now the facets of my want and need struggle for power, as I believe they will consistently do throughout the duration of my stay here. However, one thing I am absolutely certain of is now, at this very moment, the two seconds it takes for me to complete this statement, I have two very influential sides of myself. And they don't appear to be resolving themselves anytime soon.

Description

   When I think of my own inner struggle, it's less of a matter of mind versus heart and more so an issue of mouth versus stomach. No, that's not a fat joke. It's more so a comparison of my own wants in relation to the limitations or needs I am faced with. A mouth exists to chew, taste, process what it's given into miniscule particles that can be dealt with by some other ambiguous body part. The stomach, however, is that secondary tributary to this process the mouth fails to acknowledge. No matter how much the mouth may want to devour, to taste, to feel, to-to experience; the stomach will always have to deal with the aftermath. And, as it would appear, a stomach has restrictions. Ideally it will take in food until it is full, move that food to the digestive tract, and eagerly await its new fodder after it has been emptied of its load. (I'm a master of anatomy, I know.) But when the wants of the mouth become out of control, the stomach will overflow. It will be given too much work and, in the quaintest manner I can conjure, will-ahem-orally dispose of it.

   Now, if you've followed the metaphor up until this point, perhaps you can understand where I'm coming from. For those of you now under the impression I am a binge-crazy lunatic, allow me to explain. I possess these insurmountable wants for, everything. My heart beat runs at the speed of sound just contemplating the vast amount of possibilities reality offers us, and near bursts at the thought of that which does not yet exist. Wants bleed out of me like an overstocked soft serve machine and I can't help but feel this insatiable force pulling me into situations that conscious thought would undoubtedly disapprove of. It's this consciousness, this controlled thought, the stomach of my actions, that keeps my organs inside my skin and my body functioning at normal capacity. As a human (fourth dimensionally detached and pretentious as it sounds) I have needs. Not only dietary and bladder impulses like eating, breathing, and disposing of waste every once in a while; but social and logical ones as well. Pay for that ice cream with American currency. Clean off that wound. Sleep in a bed. There's an unfathomable part of me that wants to write on the walls and wear tacos like a hat that this grounded level of consciousness, this body, restricts; a power equal to that of my imagination that distracts from the absurdities I would accomplish without common sense. The relationship between the two is a struggle: both for me to assess and sometimes in its entirety.

What I mean to say is, need takes the form of somewhat of a level-headed adult: chastising want for its irresponsibility in an effort to preserve its safety. But, no… that's not right. Perhaps it's instead an older brother-younger brother sort of thing, a means of protection that is up for debate as neither power has any definite authority. The decision processes of both are generally angled in favor of the satisfaction of another; though at time sibling rivalry or sentiment will cause issues for the necessary bond of their relationship. For instance, some instances a need for safety will forbid the want to climb a tree as a precautionary measure. However, on occasion, it will allow the wish to be fulfilled as it will produce happiness and fulfillment. In others, want will suffocate its wish to rewind a clock to Hawaiian time in an effort to please the need for order, and in some instances it will selfishly do so to once more feel happiness and fulfillment.

   This draws forth even more speculation from the 'younger brother' nature of want. The more scenarios such as these are dissected and analyzed, the more apparent it becomes that want is a matter of emotion and need a representation of, health and welfare? Perhaps? The word itself escapes me. This nature of feeling encompasses an even greater struggle of humanity as a whole, outward of my self. It's the unattainable goal of outlasting the body, freeing oneself from the universe and reaching divine status! These two feuding parts of existence are just alternative answers to that all-encompassing question 'is my life of any value'? Want answers yes, the world is for you. Be happy, embrace the gifts you are present, receive the emotions you deserve and experience them in the entirety! Need is the 'no' of existence. It states you are no different from the grass under your feet or the oxygen in the air. You are chained to the earth as much as any other single organism or non-sentient being one can contemplate and there is no way to escape that fact. Too much of either answer is unhealthy for the spirit. Wholeheartedly believing you are deserving of all your wishes or unworthy or what life presents you is entirely ignorant. What makes you or any person worth anything, anything at all, is this debate. The knowledge that you can be neither divine nor unfeeling, neither entirely healthy nor entirely happy, that the universe offers you both everything and nothing at all takes life to a higher plane! Life can't be any one answer; it has to be a conclusion. A thought out idea nourished with the contributions of beings other-worldly and physical that encompasses an answer to not one, but all questions. As that goal is near impossible to reach as long as one is still living and in each second being exposed to new cynicisms and curiosities, these two sides of oneself will never reach equilibrium. Because, in every instance one might encounter, there will be no single concept that is more important. The pertinence of want versus need fluctuates with each circumstance. That final solution to their disputes can only be realized at the end of it all, when one can reflect on their history of feud.

   Perhaps it is vain of me to extend my own inner struggle into the rest of humanity or even the universe, but one must admit we have a lot in common. I mean, this morning I woke up. I was on planet Earth. Earth was revolving the sun. The sun was suspended in the Milky Way galaxy. The universe was continually expanding, and both philosophers and scientist were wondering why this is so. I imagine your day began similarly to mine, unless you have suddenly stopped existing for any period of time. If the latter is true, I would love to learn how. That sounds like quite an interesting experience if I do say so myself, bravo for having accomplished such a feat. But I digress.  Things are getting rather irrelevant, here. As much as I want to continue this scintillating conversation on the present state of the universe, the need to complete this thought process is far more daunting. Even now the facets of my want and need struggle for power, as I believe they will consistently do throughout the duration of my stay here. However, one thing I am absolutely certain of is now, at this very moment, the two seconds it takes for me to complete this statement, I have two very influential sides of myself. And they don't appear to be resolving themselves anytime soon.