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A/n: I was reading two beautiful pieces from @writing-yj on tumblr and they got the prompt for Hanahaki Disease from @loudmouthwally. I’ve been inspired to write this. Also don’t own big hero 6. Status: unedited

“Hanahaki disease is an illness borne of one-sided love, causing flowers to form and grow in the lungs of the unrequited. The petals are coughed up with increasing frequency. If the love is not returned, the flowers filling the patient’s chest will eventually prove fatal.”

The day Honey Lemon and Tadashi announced their relationship over dinner, you knew. You simply smiled and congratulated the two like everyone else, ignoring the ache in your chest. Later that night, you stayed behind in the café for a cup of coffee. Rain was pouring and you’d forgotten your umbrella. Figures. You sat by the window seat, your shoes on the ground, feet kicked up on the other side, and your hands around the cup for warmth.

“Hey (y/n).”

You looked up, seeing Tadashi smiling down at you.

“Hey Tadashi,” you said, smiling back.

He motioned to your feet, and you moved them closer to your body so he could sit.

“Thanks for coming to dinner,” he said, looking at you.

You avoided his gaze and looked outside at the rain.

“Congrats again. On Honey Lemon. She’s great. You guys are great.”

Tadashi sheepishly looked away from you, scratching the back of his head.

“Uhhh thanks (y/n).”

Silence enveloped you guys and all that could be heard was the sound of rain outside.

“Why don’t you stay over tonight. It looks like the rain isn’t going to stop anytime soon.”

You smiled at his offer, but shook your head.

“It’s okay. I think I’ll just wait until the rain lightens up a bit. Besides, I live just down the block. I’ll be okay Tadashi.”

He stood up and sighed.

“Well, do you need anything? A blanket? More coffee?”

You shook your ahead again.
“Go get some sleep Tadashi. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Tadashi frowned a bit, as you continued to look away from him. Slowly, he started making his way towards the stairs up to his room.

“Good night (y/n).”

When you heard his steps fade away, you let out a sigh. A tear rolled down your cheek. He would never love you back. There was no way you were going to tell him or anyone. You’ve known Tadashi since your parents introduced you two at kindergarten. He’s had a crush on Honey Lemon since they met at SFIT, and now that they’re together, you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his happiness. Before you knew it, tears were pouring uncontrollably from your eyes. You covered your mouth to stop your sobs from being too loud. When your tears finally stopped, so had the rain. So, you sniffled, downed the rest of your coffee, placed the cup in the sink, stepped outside, locked the café, and placed the key in the mailbox. The cool San Fransokyo air wrapped around you, causing you to shiver as you walked down the sidewalk to your house.

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Weeks passed before the disease manifested itself. You coughed up your first petal during one of your late nights at the lab. The light pink flower petal sat in the center of your hand. You frowned at it as a tear rolled down your cheek. This was it. You had hanahaki. A loud knock interrupted your thoughts.

“(y/n)? Can I come in?”

Your eyes widened at the sound of Tadashi’s voice.

“Uhh give me a second!” You yelled.

Frantically, you wiped away any trace of the tear and hid the petal in a desk drawer and locked it, slipping the key inside your pocket. Taking a deep breath to conceal your feelings, you smiled and opened the door.

“Hey Tadashi. You need something?”

He smiled back at you and gestured at the door. You opened it fully and he stepped in.

“Woah. This is how far you’ve gotten with programming Bayamax?” He asked as he walked towards your desktop.

“Baymax? Is that what you’re calling him? Don’t I get a say in the name?”

“Nope. My project–”

“Uh no, OUR project Tadashi.”

You started pushing him towards the door.

“If you need anything, I’ll be here for the rest of the night. Coding. Alone.”

He frowned at you, giving you those puppy dog eyes.

“Aww come on (y/n). Take a break and go get dinner with us.”

You considered the idea. Your eyebrows raised and the tips of your mouth curved into a smile.

“Who’s us?”

“Wasabi, Fred, Honey Lemon, Go Go, and Me.”

“Well, that is a compelling offer, but I’m going to have to pass on it. I really need to finish coding for Baymax. From the looks of it, it’s definitely going to take a while.”

He looked at you again with those puppy dog eyes before asking, “are you sure? We would all love it if you could join us (y/n).”

You gave a sad smile back.

“There will be other times Tadashi. Sorry. Make sure to tell the others I’m sorry too!”

He nodded and started walking away. You watched and waited until he rounded the corner before closing the door and locking it. As you started to walk back to your desk, you coughed again, another petal landing in your hand. You placed it on your desk and reopened the locked drawer. You grabbed the petal and everything else inside the drawer and placed it next to the other petal. Looking around the room, you spotted an unused plastic bag and grabbed it, using it to the line the inside of your drawer. You placed the two petals inside it and locked the drawer. For the rest of the night, you were busy cleaning and coding.

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A few months passed and you were coughing up more petals. It was slow at first. It used to be one petal a day for weeks, but slowly it became two or three to ten to a handful a day. You got rid of the petals whenever you could, still trying to hide the disease from everyone. Every night, you found yourself locked and alone in either your room or your office at SFIT working or crying. Occasionally, you would join the others for lunch and dinner, but you found yourself slowly isolation yourself even more. Not that the others noticed too much. You always buried yourself in your projects.

Soon, you developed a routine. Every morning you would wake up and go to the bathroom, cough up as many petals as you could. Then you’d get ready and rush to the Lucky Cat, get a donut and coffee, and slowly make your way to SFIT. At SFIT, you would attend any lectures or classes and work on coding Baymax until lunch. Before eating with everyone, you would cough up as many petals as you could into the drawer. Repeat until dinner. Then you would say bye to everyone, go grab takeout from a nearby restaurant, and go back to working. Then you would go home, making a quick stop to say hi to Aunt Cass and Hiro, if he wasn’t out bot fighting, before going home. Then you would sleep, coughing your way through the night.

Breathing for you became harder, more painful, and each coughing fit sapped more and more energy from your body. Petals would cover the floor around you once you were finished with each coughing fit, but you had to stay strong. You couldn’t tell anyone. Time was running out, so during your free time, you found yourself writing letters to everyone. First your friends at SFIT, Aunt Cass, Hiro, your mom, and Tadashi. With each word you wrote, a tear rolled down your cheek. You wrote letters all night long, ink smudging where tears would fall. Soon, it was morning and you were coughing more petals than ever before.

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When you walked into the lab, you stopped to say hi to everyone as you made your way to your room. You stopped by Honey Lemon’s area, watching and giggling as she explained to you what she was trying to do. She danced around the now pink sphere of tungsten carbide and touched it, letting it explode into dust. The dust caused you to have a coughing fit. Honey Lemon watched as you continually coughed, hoping it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“(y/n)? Are you okay? Do you need some water?”

You waved your free hand, the other covering your mouth, “I’ll be fine Honey Lemon. Really.”

Everyone started to gather around, worried about your continuous coughing.

“(y/n)? Are you sick? You’re looking really pale today.” Tadashi asked, moving forward.

You cleared your throat, your hand coming away from your mouth, gripping the petals in a fist.

“Guys, I’m fine. Really. I just got some dust stuck in my throat,” you said.

You took a step forward, only to collapse. Tadashi caught you before you hit the ground. Your grip on the petals released, and your friends watched in horror at the crumpled-up pink petals in your hand. Tears formed in Tadashi eyes as he realized you had Hanahaki.

“Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve helped you,” he whispered, clearing away the strands of (y/h/c) hair that fell on your face.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. Any of you. Besides, it’s too late to remove it now and. And… someone else would end up getting hurt if I removed it. So–” you couldn’t finish as you broke down into tears and coughs.

Everyone started to cry as they realized you had chosen death over the choice not to feel love.

“Who is it?” Tadashi asked. He wanted to help you. You were his best friend in the whole entire world. Who wouldn’t love you back?

You shook your head, knowing you couldn’t tell anyone. Not that it really mattered. The name of the person would show up on your hand once you died.

“It doesn’t matter. He loves someone else.”

Before anyone could ask you any other questions, you started coughing harder, a petal getting caught in your throat.

“Besides. You all have your own lives to live. If I had told you, you all would’ve put your lives on hold for me, trying to track down the guy. I’m sorry.”

From that moment on, you were bedridden. Tadashi took you home and laid you down in bed. You watched him close the door and talk to your mom, listening to her sobs as he told her the truth. You felt even more heart broken and ashamed, but you knew it was better this way.

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For the next few days, you were coughing up petals left and right. Everyone took turns watching over you: Honey Lemon talked about your best memories. Wasabi told you his funniest jokes. Fred read you your favorite comics. Go Go talked you through the pain. Your mom cleaned up petals, got you water, and held your hand while telling you it’ll be alright. Hiro talked to you about the funniest bot fights. Aunt Cass brought you your favorite treats from the café and talked with you. And Tadashi stayed by your side longer than everyone else. He held your hand, talked to you, supported you, did everything he could to make you as comfortable as possible. He wanted to be there for you more than ever to make up for his ignorance. How could he not notice you were sick?

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When you woke up the next morning, you knew. Today was it. You felt as though you hadn’t slept in days and your body was weaker than ever. You couldn’t even breathe without coughing up those horrid petals. A few minutes passed and a knock sounded through the room. You sat up to see Tadashi come in.

“Hey (y/n). I brought you some water. How are you feeling?”

You gave him the best smile you could, before coughing. Tadashi grabbed your hand and patted your back, easing your pain a bit. You moved over a bit so he could sit on the bed with you. You cuddled up to him, looking up at his face.

“Will you stay with me Tadashi?” you asked, tears threatening to spill over.

He looked down and grabbed you even tighter, burying his face in your hair.

“Always (y/n). Always.”

You looked up at him, your fingers tracing his face.

“I don’t want to die Tadashi. I’m scared.” You whispered.

He kissed your forehead and wiped away a tear with his thumb.

“I’m scared too, but I won’t leave you. Not now. Never. I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”

“Thank you, Tadashi.” You smiled up at him and kissed him.

Your lips lingering on his for a moment before you went limp, head rolling back slightly and eyes closing for the last time.

“(y/n)? (y/n)? No! No! No! No! No! (y/n)! Come back to me. You can’t leave me!”

Tadashi’s yelling caused your mom to barge in the room. She saw your limp body in Tadashi’s arms and yelled out in pain, crying as she collapsed against the wall. Tadashi shaking hand slowly brought your hand up to his eyes, and through his tears, he read the name: Tadashi Hamada. His heart fell when he realized the man who couldn’t love his best friend was him. He had caused your death. He had been so in love with Honey Lemon to notice your love for him. He cried and cried. His arms bringing your body as close as possible to him as he wept. You were gone. And it was his fault.

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At your funeral, everyone was crying. He held your mother as she wept and wept. As people started to leave, it rained. Soon, it was just Tadashi and your mother in front of your grave. Before your mother left, she handed Tadashi a letter.

“She wanted me to give this to you.”

He looked up from your grave to the letter in her hand. The envelope was cream and his name was written in your handwriting. He took it in his hand and hugged your mother once again.

“I know Tadashi. It’s alright. I don’t blame you at all.” Your mother said.

Tadashi pulled back, surprised. Your mother smiled at him as best she could and started to make her way back to the car. Once he was alone, he opened the letter.

Tadashi.

I’m sorry for not telling you. I thought distancing myself from you would make it easier for both me and you once you found out. I know that once I’m dead, you’re going to see your name on my hand. Knowing you, you would end up blaming yourself for the rest of your life. I’m asking you not to. I forgive you. My death isn’t your fault. I’m asking you to forgive yourself and be happy with Honey Lemon for as long as you can. I remember she was all you talked about after the first seminar we had with her and that look of complete and utter joy on your face when you told us you were together. That was one of the happiest and saddest moments of my life. But you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to me.

Since we met you’ve been the best friend I ever had. You were there for me throughout the best and worst times of my life.

I don’t regret meeting you and being your best friend. And I definitely don’t regret loving you for a single moment.

Knowing this is going to be my last goodbye to you pains me. I just wish we had more time together. I’m going to miss you so much.

Thank you, Tadashi.

I love you so much.

(y/n)

P.S I coded most of Baymax’s procedures. I believe you can finish the rest. Do me proud.

He held your letter in his shaking hand, the other trying to hold the umbrella steady. His eyes read the words “I love you” over and over again. He wouldn’t get to see you smile again or laugh again, or dance around the room whenever you accomplished something, or hug you again. So, he stood there in the rain, hands gripping your headstone. The letter safely tucked away in his suit jacket as he wept uncontrollably. You were gone. And it was his fault.